11/18/2011 c1 1bunnibits
Not bad. I find your grammar to be fair, so this was a smooth read for me. While your OC seems like potential Mary-sue, I believe that you are the type of writer who will eventually bring her flaws into play, making her far from it, and relatable to your audience.
As for the couple, the love triangle seems rather interesting. I think you should try using it, or you could put up a poll for readers on your profile after a while. I hope to read more soon, so please update whenever you get a chance. ^^
Not bad. I find your grammar to be fair, so this was a smooth read for me. While your OC seems like potential Mary-sue, I believe that you are the type of writer who will eventually bring her flaws into play, making her far from it, and relatable to your audience.
As for the couple, the love triangle seems rather interesting. I think you should try using it, or you could put up a poll for readers on your profile after a while. I hope to read more soon, so please update whenever you get a chance. ^^