11/22/2011 c1 5Needles of Rain
Cool. Though.. you do seem kinda Mary-stu-ish. M And You read Logan-Tofuu's stuff too? Sweet! You should PM him about this, it's pretty decent. Though, I gotta say. You kinda rushed things.. Try to describe things, like what your character looks like, the area, things like that. So as for the reader to get a grasp on the looks of the moment. ^-^ It's pretty cool, and I'd like to see how you do with this. Keep it up.

11/20/2011 c1 3Logan Aura
(PM me and tell me how much of my ideas you're gonna end up using.)

I Like the story! Just a quick note: after every change in speaker, you have to change the line.

Logan explained, "Like this!"

Ian glared, "You are an idiot." He crossed his arms. "It is common not to do so."

Logan stuck his tongue out. "It's grammar."