for Of Pleasure and Pain7/23 c1 
1DMBSJB18
How have I never reviewed this story? I’ve read it a few times :) are you still around on FF.
I actually enjoyed the fact that Bella never took him back. It seemed so realistic. Almost all of it seemed realistic EXCEPT the first chapter. How the affair started. How he knew that Bella thought he was cheating on her, how he knew Angela took sick pleasure in it, and yet he still continued. How Bella asked him to stay home because she was feeling down, but he left anyeays. The first chapter shows Edward being a narcsssistic douche wad who literally only cared about his dick- but the rest of the story wasn’t that, really.
For a husband who supposedly loves his husband so much, but apparently deals with clinical depression and stress, the first chapter didn’t jive. And the things that he texted/emailed Angela didn’t jive. I could maybe see it if his depression was so bad, his self esteem was so shot, and he used Angela to escape. It’s not right, but it happens. (Though I would assume that a ‘good guys’ guilty conscience, depressed or not, would not use his wife’s bff.) But there were too many things that really only added up to E being the worst. Which makes me sad.
Even the EPOV of the Christmas Eve didn’t jive with what Edward is trying to sell us. Someone who loves his wife. How how how how how could he possibly have kept going, knowing that he would absolutely destroy Bella, if he actually loved her. He didn’t love her. He tricked himself into thinking he did. But he only loved himself. And his dick. Haha!
I’m so glad Bella got an HEA. She deserved it. She deserves Riley and o hope he treats her like a queen. I hope that Angela receives herpes and ends up alone. I’m hoping Bella ends up with every thing she’s ever dreamed of and she can get to a point that she never thinks of Edward ever again.
1DMBSJB18How have I never reviewed this story? I’ve read it a few times :) are you still around on FF.
I actually enjoyed the fact that Bella never took him back. It seemed so realistic. Almost all of it seemed realistic EXCEPT the first chapter. How the affair started. How he knew that Bella thought he was cheating on her, how he knew Angela took sick pleasure in it, and yet he still continued. How Bella asked him to stay home because she was feeling down, but he left anyeays. The first chapter shows Edward being a narcsssistic douche wad who literally only cared about his dick- but the rest of the story wasn’t that, really.
For a husband who supposedly loves his husband so much, but apparently deals with clinical depression and stress, the first chapter didn’t jive. And the things that he texted/emailed Angela didn’t jive. I could maybe see it if his depression was so bad, his self esteem was so shot, and he used Angela to escape. It’s not right, but it happens. (Though I would assume that a ‘good guys’ guilty conscience, depressed or not, would not use his wife’s bff.) But there were too many things that really only added up to E being the worst. Which makes me sad.
Even the EPOV of the Christmas Eve didn’t jive with what Edward is trying to sell us. Someone who loves his wife. How how how how how could he possibly have kept going, knowing that he would absolutely destroy Bella, if he actually loved her. He didn’t love her. He tricked himself into thinking he did. But he only loved himself. And his dick. Haha!
I’m so glad Bella got an HEA. She deserved it. She deserves Riley and o hope he treats her like a queen. I hope that Angela receives herpes and ends up alone. I’m hoping Bella ends up with every thing she’s ever dreamed of and she can get to a point that she never thinks of Edward ever again.
11/28/2021 c20 13Elle Whitecap
This was such a sad story but it was very true about how infidelity and divorce can irreparably break you… even if it’s your soulmate. I really don’t feel the chemistry between Bella and Riley but I also don’t think she could ever go back to Edward.. 9 months with your BFF really is irredeemable. I’m oddly glad to see he’s pretty miserable. I also don’t think he really fought for her so I don’t know what he was thinking. Maybe mental illness affected his thinking, I don’t know but this is just a sad story for me.
13Elle WhitecapThis was such a sad story but it was very true about how infidelity and divorce can irreparably break you… even if it’s your soulmate. I really don’t feel the chemistry between Bella and Riley but I also don’t think she could ever go back to Edward.. 9 months with your BFF really is irredeemable. I’m oddly glad to see he’s pretty miserable. I also don’t think he really fought for her so I don’t know what he was thinking. Maybe mental illness affected his thinking, I don’t know but this is just a sad story for me.
10/26/2021 c20 Guest
At first I was a little hesitant to read because I don’t really like cheat fics but I’m glad I did. You wrote everything so realistically. And as a woman, I felt Bella’s hurt while reading. First of all, thank you for not getting them back together (hehehe)
And second, thank you for not writing one dimensional characters. Although I don’t like this Edward at all, it was nice to see him be human. He was struggling and he changed but changed for good. Only it was too late. He was the man she married but he also was the man she lost during their marriage. Also jake, he was likable! He actually understood that no is a no (unlike cannon jake) and was supportive during Bella’s healing process.
The only part I don’t understand is Angela. She’s been bella’s best friend for such a long time. How can Bella not have any single clue? I mean not only her husband but it turns out she’s a serial cheater during all this time... unlike any other character Angela was one dimensional but I totally get it. We’re reading it from Bella’s point of view after all and even I wouldn’t want to see a cheaters redeeming qualities. At some points, I even thought Bella was being too nice to Edward. I guess I am vindictive :D
Thank you for this amazing story. I am on my way to check if you’ve written any other stories, take care!
At first I was a little hesitant to read because I don’t really like cheat fics but I’m glad I did. You wrote everything so realistically. And as a woman, I felt Bella’s hurt while reading. First of all, thank you for not getting them back together (hehehe)
And second, thank you for not writing one dimensional characters. Although I don’t like this Edward at all, it was nice to see him be human. He was struggling and he changed but changed for good. Only it was too late. He was the man she married but he also was the man she lost during their marriage. Also jake, he was likable! He actually understood that no is a no (unlike cannon jake) and was supportive during Bella’s healing process.
The only part I don’t understand is Angela. She’s been bella’s best friend for such a long time. How can Bella not have any single clue? I mean not only her husband but it turns out she’s a serial cheater during all this time... unlike any other character Angela was one dimensional but I totally get it. We’re reading it from Bella’s point of view after all and even I wouldn’t want to see a cheaters redeeming qualities. At some points, I even thought Bella was being too nice to Edward. I guess I am vindictive :D
Thank you for this amazing story. I am on my way to check if you’ve written any other stories, take care!
8/16/2021 c20 1gossip-bangkok
Thank you very much for this lovely story. I don’t feel any empathy towards Edward’s actions, but glad to see that by the end of the story, he’s finding a way to be happy. The same goes for Bella. The pain she lived through, and how she is able to move forward, inspirational.
1gossip-bangkokThank you very much for this lovely story. I don’t feel any empathy towards Edward’s actions, but glad to see that by the end of the story, he’s finding a way to be happy. The same goes for Bella. The pain she lived through, and how she is able to move forward, inspirational.
7/31/2021 c20 Xxx
This was a great story which showed realism and growth. LOVEDD IT!
This was a great story which showed realism and growth. LOVEDD IT!
4/30/2021 c20 MissWM
wow. you are a very talented writer. this was major angst. i liked that they didnt end up together. after seeing him having sex with her best friend? i just don't see ANYONE really recovering and forgetting and forgiving that. i liked riley as well. but bella? sometimes i hated her. she could have been more compassionate towards edward. and i say this only because he was diagnosed with depression. mental health issues ARE a real problem. at the same time - i can't, in my mind, really grasp the whole affair thing. it's like the edward that cheated on her and her husband are two very different people. idk if i'm being understandable. but that's what i felt like.
anyways, you are really talented. i could FEEL what the characters were going trough. that is some amazing writing skills. thanks for sharing.
wow. you are a very talented writer. this was major angst. i liked that they didnt end up together. after seeing him having sex with her best friend? i just don't see ANYONE really recovering and forgetting and forgiving that. i liked riley as well. but bella? sometimes i hated her. she could have been more compassionate towards edward. and i say this only because he was diagnosed with depression. mental health issues ARE a real problem. at the same time - i can't, in my mind, really grasp the whole affair thing. it's like the edward that cheated on her and her husband are two very different people. idk if i'm being understandable. but that's what i felt like.
anyways, you are really talented. i could FEEL what the characters were going trough. that is some amazing writing skills. thanks for sharing.
3/20/2021 c20 BellaTesoro
I usually review after most chapters but in this case I was so absorbed into the story I didn't take the time. I'm not sure you still read these reviews but I wanted you to know your story is still being read and appreciated. It was hard to take sides with these characters as they each had their flaws and I'm guessing that was part of the point. In some cases, maybe rare, a relationship can withstand something like Edward did to Bella...a person can find redemption can be forgiven but for Bella to have followed and then viewed first hand what Edward's dishonor did to their marriage by seeing first hand him having sex with her friend, well, that's something not easy to release from one's memory. I will say though that I did not like Bella at times either. I think she was so wounded, understandably, that she didn't have enough grace around Edward as she herself moved on, recovered from her grief and he was clinically depressed. Sure that's not grounds for forgiveness but surely compassion would have been good. Mental health issues are real and I didn't like the glossing over that. It does seem like Bella got the last laugh. She's doing just fine, it's Edward that's lost it all, friends, family respect, his marriage, and then his job. How nice for Bella that he's leaving Forks to explore the world. I'd say that's wonderful for him. I hope he too will recover and see that life can be relived and passion for life can still be yours once you forgive yourself and continue to get help with his depression. Your writing was so good it really captured the reader's interest. Well done. Thank you.
I usually review after most chapters but in this case I was so absorbed into the story I didn't take the time. I'm not sure you still read these reviews but I wanted you to know your story is still being read and appreciated. It was hard to take sides with these characters as they each had their flaws and I'm guessing that was part of the point. In some cases, maybe rare, a relationship can withstand something like Edward did to Bella...a person can find redemption can be forgiven but for Bella to have followed and then viewed first hand what Edward's dishonor did to their marriage by seeing first hand him having sex with her friend, well, that's something not easy to release from one's memory. I will say though that I did not like Bella at times either. I think she was so wounded, understandably, that she didn't have enough grace around Edward as she herself moved on, recovered from her grief and he was clinically depressed. Sure that's not grounds for forgiveness but surely compassion would have been good. Mental health issues are real and I didn't like the glossing over that. It does seem like Bella got the last laugh. She's doing just fine, it's Edward that's lost it all, friends, family respect, his marriage, and then his job. How nice for Bella that he's leaving Forks to explore the world. I'd say that's wonderful for him. I hope he too will recover and see that life can be relived and passion for life can still be yours once you forgive yourself and continue to get help with his depression. Your writing was so good it really captured the reader's interest. Well done. Thank you.
3/15/2021 c20 Schwips
Happy that Bella went through all this sh** and got her happy ending with Riley. It was well deserved.
Thank you
Happy that Bella went through all this sh** and got her happy ending with Riley. It was well deserved.
Thank you
3/3/2021 c14 Guest
It’s such a relief to read a fanfiction where Bella takes a stand and moves on. Fanfiction almost seems to glamorize cheating, because a lot of readers appreciate some angst. Edward in many fanfics is beyond redemption, and yet redeemed he is, over and over. To the detriment of his partners, usually a Bella who doesn’t have enough self respect to demand better. Let’s be honest, many teens read these stories, and I worry about the message these stories continue to advocate.
So bravo. You can love someone and still move on and take care of yourself.
It’s such a relief to read a fanfiction where Bella takes a stand and moves on. Fanfiction almost seems to glamorize cheating, because a lot of readers appreciate some angst. Edward in many fanfics is beyond redemption, and yet redeemed he is, over and over. To the detriment of his partners, usually a Bella who doesn’t have enough self respect to demand better. Let’s be honest, many teens read these stories, and I worry about the message these stories continue to advocate.
So bravo. You can love someone and still move on and take care of yourself.
2/18/2021 c20 Xxx
Holy shit ... oh god ... shit ! That was the BEST STORY I HAVE READ! It was satisfying amazing and beautiful . I am so happy it’s not another story where Bella takes Edward back. This really helped me through a bad time.
Holy shit ... oh god ... shit ! That was the BEST STORY I HAVE READ! It was satisfying amazing and beautiful . I am so happy it’s not another story where Bella takes Edward back. This really helped me through a bad time.
12/6/2020 c20 katiej1
Re-reading my favorite fics with my free time from staying home during the pandemic. Thank you for sharing!
Re-reading my favorite fics with my free time from staying home during the pandemic. Thank you for sharing!
2/12/2020 c20 Guest
I just finished this story (i had read the original one shot a long time ago, but not the entire fic) and although given the nature of It i can't say that i enjoyed It, i liked some aspects of It. I really really liked your vision of Bella, it was very refreshing to see her as a strong woman who stands for herself and, in spite of being in a very vulnerable position, knows what is best for her and fights for it. I loved reading about her journey of recovery and all the struggles that came with It. It felt very realistic and the outcome was very satisfaying.
However, i do think this story has a big weak spot: Edward and the lack of cohesion of his character through the story. At some points it was as if there were two differents Edwards. In the majority of the main story and the second and third outtakes he seems to be just a sweet (and stupid) guy who was very in love with his wife (because i really think he loved her as much as he said) but was struggling with a non diagnosticated depression and as a result of it (among other things) made some horrible mistakes. But, on the other hand, the first chapter of the story and his point of view of the beginning of the affair painted a very different picture of him. While i always found understatable the diference between the tone of the first chapter and the rest (given its origin as a stand alone one shot for a contest with a very specific sexual character, ), i don't quite understand his way of thinking in the first outtake and, more specifically, the reasons that lead him to cheat. When he explains the events of that first night, there are no significant traces of the alleged depression, nor clear indicators that he is going through a dark time. Instead of that, he simply presents himself as a stressed man who loves his wife but is bored with their sex life and instead of talking to her in order to work together to fix the problem, he DECIDES to have sex with her best friend (yes, she seduced him, but he let her, he made no solid attempts to stop her and even at some moments of the night It seemed like he wanted her to do it and was waiting for it). To make things worse, he enjoys the experience so much that continues the affair for nine months and is so consumed by it that he is unable to end it even A) knowing that the woman he suposedly loves so much is suffering because she has suspicions of his infidelity B) Being aware that Angela was enjoying Bella's pain (the fact that he didn't care enough about this to stop the affair is particularly disheartening). He wasn't weak, as he often said, he was just stupid and selfish. His actions then are (obviously) disgusting but also, and more important, terribily cruel and I said before, his behaviour then doesn't fit neither with his behavior after Bella discovers the truth nor with the level of regret he shows for the rest of the story (This can be apreciated especially in the second outtake, wich is, by far, my favourite chapter of the story. It's so beautifully written and portrays very well his personality and the love he says to feel for Bella, at the same time that shows a bit of his mental state and returns to the idea that the affair was somewhat a product of his depression). It's like there are two sides of him that are so opposite that don't work well together and make things very confusing, wich leads me to my main problem with the story: EDWARD'S AFFAIR DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE, there are no solid reasons behind his actions. My impression as a reader is that he ruined his marriage for nothing and caused all that pain without reason. I find that fact very disturbing in a story with so much emocional charge. It makes the conflict lack of foundations.
Besides all of that, i think that, overall, the beginning of the affair feels a bit too sudden. He had known Angela for years, but according to him, before that first night he had never laid eyes on her in a sexual way. However, within a couple of hours he became so attracted to her that he couldn't control himself, forgot all about his beloved wife and had wild sex with her while poor Bella was passed out in the next room. All of that while being sober and with the only excuse of being stressed and in need to relieve some tension in a "masculine" way. I think that would had worked out better if Angela was some new girl he just met and became instantely attracted to or if the atraction between them was something already present that he had tried to fight for a while before deciding to have sex with her.
That said, there were other elements in the story that i liked. For example, the ending. I think it was a great conclusion (but a little rushed, i might say). After all the suffering and heartbreak, it was very gratifying to see Bella end her story in such a good emocional state. She had become a better version of herself and seemed genuinely happy. I never thought that a reconciliacion between Bella and Edward was plausible, not only because of his affair and all its implications (he betrayed her in so many ways that it was imposible for him to redeem himself), but also because their relationship was far from perfect (It lacked basic elements, like an honest comunication between them) and, at least Bella, seemed to feel more fullfilled with her new life. In spite of that, i was glad to see that at the end they got to be in peace with each other and that Edward was on the road of healing too.
P.D: Sorry for the mistakes, english isn't my first language.
I just finished this story (i had read the original one shot a long time ago, but not the entire fic) and although given the nature of It i can't say that i enjoyed It, i liked some aspects of It. I really really liked your vision of Bella, it was very refreshing to see her as a strong woman who stands for herself and, in spite of being in a very vulnerable position, knows what is best for her and fights for it. I loved reading about her journey of recovery and all the struggles that came with It. It felt very realistic and the outcome was very satisfaying.
However, i do think this story has a big weak spot: Edward and the lack of cohesion of his character through the story. At some points it was as if there were two differents Edwards. In the majority of the main story and the second and third outtakes he seems to be just a sweet (and stupid) guy who was very in love with his wife (because i really think he loved her as much as he said) but was struggling with a non diagnosticated depression and as a result of it (among other things) made some horrible mistakes. But, on the other hand, the first chapter of the story and his point of view of the beginning of the affair painted a very different picture of him. While i always found understatable the diference between the tone of the first chapter and the rest (given its origin as a stand alone one shot for a contest with a very specific sexual character, ), i don't quite understand his way of thinking in the first outtake and, more specifically, the reasons that lead him to cheat. When he explains the events of that first night, there are no significant traces of the alleged depression, nor clear indicators that he is going through a dark time. Instead of that, he simply presents himself as a stressed man who loves his wife but is bored with their sex life and instead of talking to her in order to work together to fix the problem, he DECIDES to have sex with her best friend (yes, she seduced him, but he let her, he made no solid attempts to stop her and even at some moments of the night It seemed like he wanted her to do it and was waiting for it). To make things worse, he enjoys the experience so much that continues the affair for nine months and is so consumed by it that he is unable to end it even A) knowing that the woman he suposedly loves so much is suffering because she has suspicions of his infidelity B) Being aware that Angela was enjoying Bella's pain (the fact that he didn't care enough about this to stop the affair is particularly disheartening). He wasn't weak, as he often said, he was just stupid and selfish. His actions then are (obviously) disgusting but also, and more important, terribily cruel and I said before, his behaviour then doesn't fit neither with his behavior after Bella discovers the truth nor with the level of regret he shows for the rest of the story (This can be apreciated especially in the second outtake, wich is, by far, my favourite chapter of the story. It's so beautifully written and portrays very well his personality and the love he says to feel for Bella, at the same time that shows a bit of his mental state and returns to the idea that the affair was somewhat a product of his depression). It's like there are two sides of him that are so opposite that don't work well together and make things very confusing, wich leads me to my main problem with the story: EDWARD'S AFFAIR DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE, there are no solid reasons behind his actions. My impression as a reader is that he ruined his marriage for nothing and caused all that pain without reason. I find that fact very disturbing in a story with so much emocional charge. It makes the conflict lack of foundations.
Besides all of that, i think that, overall, the beginning of the affair feels a bit too sudden. He had known Angela for years, but according to him, before that first night he had never laid eyes on her in a sexual way. However, within a couple of hours he became so attracted to her that he couldn't control himself, forgot all about his beloved wife and had wild sex with her while poor Bella was passed out in the next room. All of that while being sober and with the only excuse of being stressed and in need to relieve some tension in a "masculine" way. I think that would had worked out better if Angela was some new girl he just met and became instantely attracted to or if the atraction between them was something already present that he had tried to fight for a while before deciding to have sex with her.
That said, there were other elements in the story that i liked. For example, the ending. I think it was a great conclusion (but a little rushed, i might say). After all the suffering and heartbreak, it was very gratifying to see Bella end her story in such a good emocional state. She had become a better version of herself and seemed genuinely happy. I never thought that a reconciliacion between Bella and Edward was plausible, not only because of his affair and all its implications (he betrayed her in so many ways that it was imposible for him to redeem himself), but also because their relationship was far from perfect (It lacked basic elements, like an honest comunication between them) and, at least Bella, seemed to feel more fullfilled with her new life. In spite of that, i was glad to see that at the end they got to be in peace with each other and that Edward was on the road of healing too.
P.D: Sorry for the mistakes, english isn't my first language.