for Light and Love: Spring of Dreams5/23/2012 c11 just me
The internet on my phone is dumb...
Question: is Hecate's voice normal or is ir more deep and dark?
Loved this chapter! Can't wait to see how it all plays out!
...bokkun?...
The internet on my phone is dumb...
Question: is Hecate's voice normal or is ir more deep and dark?
Loved this chapter! Can't wait to see how it all plays out!
...bokkun?...
5/18/2012 c11 Rin-sama and Len-kun
YAY! Sorry I haven't been on in a while! We have EOG's,and my mom was taking our electronics...
ITS DEVON! I bet Blitz is happy! 3 I love this chapter! Update soon!
YAY! Sorry I haven't been on in a while! We have EOG's,and my mom was taking our electronics...
ITS DEVON! I bet Blitz is happy! 3 I love this chapter! Update soon!
5/18/2012 c1 SunnyAirisu222
Hello there!
**Comrade/LL and Blitz, you need to read this review as well, since you're going to be mentioned a lot in it.**
First off, I'd just like to say that I wanted to do a HUGE review on this story, so here you go. : ) I'm a huge sucker for Sonamy fics, and I had been looking for a fanfiction like your two for a long time. When I found them, it was like love at first sight. I actually have Light and Love & Light and Love: Spring of Dreams on my iPod touch's bookmarks. The original Light and Love was beautiful and well-crafted, but this one... This sequel is amazing, beautiful. It truly is a masterpiece, and I, who has been writing novels since I was eight, have never been able to write anything as good as this. You know what? If you changed the Characters and mildly tweaked the storyline, this would be a bestseller story that bookstores would be begging for. I also really love how you put your reviewers into the story - that's genius. I'd clean your house for you if you put ME in your story! This... Blitz and Comrade/LL were amazingly lucky to be placed in this tale; again, if I was put into a story like this, I'd be estatic (*hinthint* hehe, no, no, I've only reviewed your story twice - it wouldn't be fair if I forced you to put one of my characters in your story. ...would it be fair? xD) Anyways, I keep on checking this GORGEUS fanfic twice a day, hoping, hoping, for a new chapter. At this rate, I think I've become addicted! When this one is done, you should do a threequel. : )
So, now I'll do a chapter by chapter review:
_
Ch.1
A great start! Very nicely written, and very exciting. I like how you morphed the epilogue of the original with the prologue of this one.
Ch.2
This one is so hilarious! Gender bending, huh? Mmmhmm, I think that's perfect.
Ch.3
Ohh, oh yes. This one is.. EPIC! Funny and epic. That is all.
Ch.4
Ooh, what a nice beginning of the flashback! You seem to lace everything in shadows and suspense, but it's hilarious as well. Your writing style is phenomenal.
Ch.5
O w O
The descriptions were flawless and beautiful, and Amy being pregnant... *squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee* Oh maiii, oh my. *claps*
Ch.6
For this one... One of my favorite chappies of all time! The blades and the mages and the Blitzs and the Kiyas and did I mention the blades? The violent part of me is fluttering. FLUTTERING. Ahem. Please write more ninja-like scenes like this!
Ch.7
I... I think my mom thinks I'm going crazy for laughing at the top of my breath at 3:00 A.M. But it was just soooooooooooo hilarious! Write a fic with LinaMosa Cafè please. xD And this chappie had a suspensful ending, too! Oh gosh, oh gosh. I need to reread (shut up, autocorrect! Reread isn't the same word as 'tetras') this story so that I can keep myself entertained until you update.
Ch.8
This one was so calm and soft... And I loved it. LOVED IT. : ) And the kiss! The camera! The... The.. I need to take a break from this review, I think I'm getting too into it.
Ch.9
...
Okay, I'm back. : D This one was purty. I don't care if you hate it (but I do understand, because once, I wrote an entire novel, only to hate it and be ashamed of it a few days after) because your reviewers, including me, loved it. And darn that finger! Bleep that finger that blocked the kiss. O:
But, yay! Amy woke up, woot!
Ch.10
So, I know I've said this about five times already, but this one was written magnificently. Blitz was hilarious, the Knuxouge in it was cute, Amy eating her sandwiches was downright adorable, and Sonic confessing his love had my heart racing . But here, here, nothing lasts, does it? Oh my, I believe that I'm melting. ACTION SCENE. As you can tell, I'm addicted to well-written action scenes (writing them is fun for me, too!). And I know I shouldn't keep repeating myself with the sane compliments, but you just write 'em so darn good! Twists and turns, oh my! You, my dear, need to go into professional writing. This chapter... This chapter... #_#
Ch.11
YOU'RE A KILLER. You seriously knocked me out and nearly murdered me with this gorgeus chappy. BEST. CHAPTER. EVERRRRR.
The length: amazing - last time I wrote so much in one day, I took 12 hours.
The plot: perfection
The emotions I felt: All
*moans* How can I express how much I love this chapter? I guess I'll just split it up into segments.
Kiya: I don't know why, but I cracked the *bleep* up when I read her cursing. You need to have her swear some more, it brings out the bad (in the hot, good way.) side of her.
Hecate: I can't tell whether I love him or absolutely hate him. Actually, I'd marry him. WE COULD TAKE OVER THE WORLD TOGETHER, HIM AND I. Forget about Amy, Hecate, I want you! If not, then I'll just have to kill Devon and make Blitz marry me. :D Yes, Blitz! I hope you're reading this review. I'M GONNA KILL YO MAN AN' YOU GONNA MARRY -ME- (I'm attracked to both male and female characters)
Ahem, yes, yes, I'm insane. UMAD? Okay, back to Hecate. He's handsome, wise, kinda self-centered, an attention-freak, dead and then alive again (my kind of character! I'm seemingly - from whenever I create characters based off of myself - the person who dies midway in the story and then comes back as a ninja ghost. :O) ... And he's evil! EVIL. Oh, nom nom.
Sophia: Again, another love-hate character for me. I really like her, then I really don't like her. All I can say is... That someone needs to slap her back for hitting Kiya and Blitz. :D
LL: This guy... Have I fallen in love twice during this chapter? No, seriously. You take people's characters, my dear, and make them even better than they were originally (they were mastery before you touched them, still, so thumbs up to the original creators). Not much else to say about this guy, except that I bleeping love him.
Romance:
Madame, you write romance better than a married adult with children who writes romance novels for a living. I can't write romance to save my life - all the romance scenes I've ever written were like "she mumbled under her breath, 'I love you' blah blah blah NEXT SCENE WITH PRETTY, DESTRUCTIVE EXPLOSIONS"
But you write them very well. If I tried writing Blitz's kiss scene like you did... It would crawl your blood worse than nails on a chalkboard. Great!
Other: Last part of my chapter by chapter review (woot! Oh wait, I still have to write one more section after this one.)
Overall, great chapter, great fanfiction, and I can't wait for more! 3
_
Constructive Criticism:
I'm not very good at this, I'll admit, and I don't like finding anything wrong in something that's good. Um, there's a few typos and mispellings, but they're minor and not noticable. They also DON'T distract from the story, so ignore this part of the review.
The most I can say is that you sometimes use periods where you're supposed to use question marks, and that distracts me from my reading a little. But nothing major. : )
Suggestions:
Not much here, either. How about doing the POVs of other characters, though? Like a part with Hecate's point of view, or from LL's POV? Lastly, I'd like to know a bit about Devon. What's his story? We've heard a little about him, but what else? That's all for the suggestions, though.
-
Aaaaaaand it's done! I've been writing this for a whole week, all on my iPod, constantly rereading chapters to make sure I got my facts right. My finger is tired of using a touch-screen, haha. Wellllll, that's it for now. I'm thinking about writing a fanfic about two rabbit siblings, and if someone requests it, I'll put their character in the story. I might put Kiya in, with your permission. : )
Sayonara, thanks for reading this review!
Oh, one more thing! *runs into room with revolver in my hand* Scissors are my weapons of choice, but I like revolvers too! Can I join you guys, Lina and GranGran? *shoots at the sky*
Bye bye, until next time!
-O-O-O-
.SUNNY
AIRISU.
.222
-O-O-O-
Hello there!
**Comrade/LL and Blitz, you need to read this review as well, since you're going to be mentioned a lot in it.**
First off, I'd just like to say that I wanted to do a HUGE review on this story, so here you go. : ) I'm a huge sucker for Sonamy fics, and I had been looking for a fanfiction like your two for a long time. When I found them, it was like love at first sight. I actually have Light and Love & Light and Love: Spring of Dreams on my iPod touch's bookmarks. The original Light and Love was beautiful and well-crafted, but this one... This sequel is amazing, beautiful. It truly is a masterpiece, and I, who has been writing novels since I was eight, have never been able to write anything as good as this. You know what? If you changed the Characters and mildly tweaked the storyline, this would be a bestseller story that bookstores would be begging for. I also really love how you put your reviewers into the story - that's genius. I'd clean your house for you if you put ME in your story! This... Blitz and Comrade/LL were amazingly lucky to be placed in this tale; again, if I was put into a story like this, I'd be estatic (*hinthint* hehe, no, no, I've only reviewed your story twice - it wouldn't be fair if I forced you to put one of my characters in your story. ...would it be fair? xD) Anyways, I keep on checking this GORGEUS fanfic twice a day, hoping, hoping, for a new chapter. At this rate, I think I've become addicted! When this one is done, you should do a threequel. : )
So, now I'll do a chapter by chapter review:
_
Ch.1
A great start! Very nicely written, and very exciting. I like how you morphed the epilogue of the original with the prologue of this one.
Ch.2
This one is so hilarious! Gender bending, huh? Mmmhmm, I think that's perfect.
Ch.3
Ohh, oh yes. This one is.. EPIC! Funny and epic. That is all.
Ch.4
Ooh, what a nice beginning of the flashback! You seem to lace everything in shadows and suspense, but it's hilarious as well. Your writing style is phenomenal.
Ch.5
O w O
The descriptions were flawless and beautiful, and Amy being pregnant... *squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee* Oh maiii, oh my. *claps*
Ch.6
For this one... One of my favorite chappies of all time! The blades and the mages and the Blitzs and the Kiyas and did I mention the blades? The violent part of me is fluttering. FLUTTERING. Ahem. Please write more ninja-like scenes like this!
Ch.7
I... I think my mom thinks I'm going crazy for laughing at the top of my breath at 3:00 A.M. But it was just soooooooooooo hilarious! Write a fic with LinaMosa Cafè please. xD And this chappie had a suspensful ending, too! Oh gosh, oh gosh. I need to reread (shut up, autocorrect! Reread isn't the same word as 'tetras') this story so that I can keep myself entertained until you update.
Ch.8
This one was so calm and soft... And I loved it. LOVED IT. : ) And the kiss! The camera! The... The.. I need to take a break from this review, I think I'm getting too into it.
Ch.9
...
Okay, I'm back. : D This one was purty. I don't care if you hate it (but I do understand, because once, I wrote an entire novel, only to hate it and be ashamed of it a few days after) because your reviewers, including me, loved it. And darn that finger! Bleep that finger that blocked the kiss. O:
But, yay! Amy woke up, woot!
Ch.10
So, I know I've said this about five times already, but this one was written magnificently. Blitz was hilarious, the Knuxouge in it was cute, Amy eating her sandwiches was downright adorable, and Sonic confessing his love had my heart racing . But here, here, nothing lasts, does it? Oh my, I believe that I'm melting. ACTION SCENE. As you can tell, I'm addicted to well-written action scenes (writing them is fun for me, too!). And I know I shouldn't keep repeating myself with the sane compliments, but you just write 'em so darn good! Twists and turns, oh my! You, my dear, need to go into professional writing. This chapter... This chapter... #_#
Ch.11
YOU'RE A KILLER. You seriously knocked me out and nearly murdered me with this gorgeus chappy. BEST. CHAPTER. EVERRRRR.
The length: amazing - last time I wrote so much in one day, I took 12 hours.
The plot: perfection
The emotions I felt: All
*moans* How can I express how much I love this chapter? I guess I'll just split it up into segments.
Kiya: I don't know why, but I cracked the *bleep* up when I read her cursing. You need to have her swear some more, it brings out the bad (in the hot, good way.) side of her.
Hecate: I can't tell whether I love him or absolutely hate him. Actually, I'd marry him. WE COULD TAKE OVER THE WORLD TOGETHER, HIM AND I. Forget about Amy, Hecate, I want you! If not, then I'll just have to kill Devon and make Blitz marry me. :D Yes, Blitz! I hope you're reading this review. I'M GONNA KILL YO MAN AN' YOU GONNA MARRY -ME- (I'm attracked to both male and female characters)
Ahem, yes, yes, I'm insane. UMAD? Okay, back to Hecate. He's handsome, wise, kinda self-centered, an attention-freak, dead and then alive again (my kind of character! I'm seemingly - from whenever I create characters based off of myself - the person who dies midway in the story and then comes back as a ninja ghost. :O) ... And he's evil! EVIL. Oh, nom nom.
Sophia: Again, another love-hate character for me. I really like her, then I really don't like her. All I can say is... That someone needs to slap her back for hitting Kiya and Blitz. :D
LL: This guy... Have I fallen in love twice during this chapter? No, seriously. You take people's characters, my dear, and make them even better than they were originally (they were mastery before you touched them, still, so thumbs up to the original creators). Not much else to say about this guy, except that I bleeping love him.
Romance:
Madame, you write romance better than a married adult with children who writes romance novels for a living. I can't write romance to save my life - all the romance scenes I've ever written were like "she mumbled under her breath, 'I love you' blah blah blah NEXT SCENE WITH PRETTY, DESTRUCTIVE EXPLOSIONS"
But you write them very well. If I tried writing Blitz's kiss scene like you did... It would crawl your blood worse than nails on a chalkboard. Great!
Other: Last part of my chapter by chapter review (woot! Oh wait, I still have to write one more section after this one.)
Overall, great chapter, great fanfiction, and I can't wait for more! 3
_
Constructive Criticism:
I'm not very good at this, I'll admit, and I don't like finding anything wrong in something that's good. Um, there's a few typos and mispellings, but they're minor and not noticable. They also DON'T distract from the story, so ignore this part of the review.
The most I can say is that you sometimes use periods where you're supposed to use question marks, and that distracts me from my reading a little. But nothing major. : )
Suggestions:
Not much here, either. How about doing the POVs of other characters, though? Like a part with Hecate's point of view, or from LL's POV? Lastly, I'd like to know a bit about Devon. What's his story? We've heard a little about him, but what else? That's all for the suggestions, though.
-
Aaaaaaand it's done! I've been writing this for a whole week, all on my iPod, constantly rereading chapters to make sure I got my facts right. My finger is tired of using a touch-screen, haha. Wellllll, that's it for now. I'm thinking about writing a fanfic about two rabbit siblings, and if someone requests it, I'll put their character in the story. I might put Kiya in, with your permission. : )
Sayonara, thanks for reading this review!
Oh, one more thing! *runs into room with revolver in my hand* Scissors are my weapons of choice, but I like revolvers too! Can I join you guys, Lina and GranGran? *shoots at the sky*
Bye bye, until next time!
-O-O-O-
.SUNNY
AIRISU.
.222
-O-O-O-
5/14/2012 c11 
2Basic Blitz
The time...has finally come. I, Blitz the Hedgehog, have FINALLY gotten an account! :D DANCE PARTY! *Disco lights and music plays* Whooo! Yeah! I did it! :DDD
I'm just so happy and excited to start writing! And I can PM you now on my...thingy! :D Yays! And your chapter was AWESOME! I'm so glad you made it extra long! So much stuff happened! Amy and Hecate with marriage and Sophia and the past and Kiya and Shadow and...AND ME! OMG me and Devon...my heart was melting! :D It was so romantic! And he wanted to protect me when he heard the noise! Awh! Doesn't he know I've been able to kill a man with my bare hands since I was eight? But it's the though that counts! :3 Me and him kissing was so...PERFECT! You did so well writing that I'm just *sniff* SO PROUD OF YOU! And Kiya and Shadow were so shy and perfect! They just made me wanna...run through a field of flowers! :D ...I don't know why I thought of that but that was the feeling! Haha
Do you need some helpful critique? Because I don't think I have any. o.o Everything was just soo GOOD! I'm REALLY looking forward to the next chapter...like A LOT! *falls to knees* PLEASE don't take a month to update! It's torture!
Also, I'm sorry about the family problems. :( I hope everything works out. I really do! Also, your grammy...is flipping AWESOME! *whips out flame thrower* I wanna celebrate too! *shoots at sky* You and your gran-gran are a great team!
Good luck on those CSTs! Read the question and look for key words because they WILL try to trick you! Also, cross of answers you know are not correct and increase the probability that you will choose the correct answer! And my FAVORITE tip of all is when you have NO clue what to choose and you wanna give it your best guess...put 'C'. The writers always try to "hide" the answer by putting it in the middle...so it will be there most of the time. :) C or B if you think C REALLY isn't the right answer. :3 Yep! Those are my tips! And...uh...all these boxes at the bottom of these review things...yeah i clicked them all and they turned blue...so it must be good! :D okay, well that's my review! Update soon! :D
2Basic BlitzThe time...has finally come. I, Blitz the Hedgehog, have FINALLY gotten an account! :D DANCE PARTY! *Disco lights and music plays* Whooo! Yeah! I did it! :DDD
I'm just so happy and excited to start writing! And I can PM you now on my...thingy! :D Yays! And your chapter was AWESOME! I'm so glad you made it extra long! So much stuff happened! Amy and Hecate with marriage and Sophia and the past and Kiya and Shadow and...AND ME! OMG me and Devon...my heart was melting! :D It was so romantic! And he wanted to protect me when he heard the noise! Awh! Doesn't he know I've been able to kill a man with my bare hands since I was eight? But it's the though that counts! :3 Me and him kissing was so...PERFECT! You did so well writing that I'm just *sniff* SO PROUD OF YOU! And Kiya and Shadow were so shy and perfect! They just made me wanna...run through a field of flowers! :D ...I don't know why I thought of that but that was the feeling! Haha
Do you need some helpful critique? Because I don't think I have any. o.o Everything was just soo GOOD! I'm REALLY looking forward to the next chapter...like A LOT! *falls to knees* PLEASE don't take a month to update! It's torture!
Also, I'm sorry about the family problems. :( I hope everything works out. I really do! Also, your grammy...is flipping AWESOME! *whips out flame thrower* I wanna celebrate too! *shoots at sky* You and your gran-gran are a great team!
Good luck on those CSTs! Read the question and look for key words because they WILL try to trick you! Also, cross of answers you know are not correct and increase the probability that you will choose the correct answer! And my FAVORITE tip of all is when you have NO clue what to choose and you wanna give it your best guess...put 'C'. The writers always try to "hide" the answer by putting it in the middle...so it will be there most of the time. :) C or B if you think C REALLY isn't the right answer. :3 Yep! Those are my tips! And...uh...all these boxes at the bottom of these review things...yeah i clicked them all and they turned blue...so it must be good! :D okay, well that's my review! Update soon! :D
5/13/2012 c11 4Comrade Athelwine
*Is about to review but gets trampled down by LL*
"OH MY GOD IM IN THE STORY! YAYS! CELEBRATION TIMES!"
*Pushes LL down*
Youre in a bloody Cage!
"So what? Im in the story!"
You got your own story!
"BUT I LIKE BEING IN STORIES! And you dont always have the time T_T"
*Sigh* What do you say then?
"THANK YOU!"
Good boy...
Now... Review Time *Takes his soviet Hat on*
The only bad think I would be able to come up with, was perhaps when Blitz "Lies" To the audience. It is a bit of a strange way to formulate things, But dont take this too bad. I am equally inclined on both sides to let it stay, than to remove it.
Next after, I am SLIGHTLY confused as to why Sonic fell asleep on the couch... I know he is supposed to relax even though Amy is gone, but I personally think he would not relax... :P
*Throws off his soviet hat and stops on a picture of Stalin*
"Why did you add the picture?"
Its for dramatic Emphasis...
"Oh..."
Beyond that you have written quite a stellar chapter, Everything seemingly fits together in a way that reading does not get tedious, and the plot is expanding into a real world crisis now! O.o And the Heroes must Save the day!
This one gets 4.9 Hammers out of 5, I must really say It is amazing.
*LL sneaks in and adds the last 0.1 hammer to the score and giggles cheekily*
*sigh* I guess LL wants this time to be a perfect score... :P
Also both LL and I are really interested in hearing what LL Said to Amy
"I AM ABSOLUTELY ECSTATIC, AND I WILL TRY TO WAIT FOR NEXT CHAPTER!"
And so am I :)
This is the comrade,
"And This is LL"
Signing Off.
4Comrade Athelwine*Is about to review but gets trampled down by LL*
"OH MY GOD IM IN THE STORY! YAYS! CELEBRATION TIMES!"
*Pushes LL down*
Youre in a bloody Cage!
"So what? Im in the story!"
You got your own story!
"BUT I LIKE BEING IN STORIES! And you dont always have the time T_T"
*Sigh* What do you say then?
"THANK YOU!"
Good boy...
Now... Review Time *Takes his soviet Hat on*
The only bad think I would be able to come up with, was perhaps when Blitz "Lies" To the audience. It is a bit of a strange way to formulate things, But dont take this too bad. I am equally inclined on both sides to let it stay, than to remove it.
Next after, I am SLIGHTLY confused as to why Sonic fell asleep on the couch... I know he is supposed to relax even though Amy is gone, but I personally think he would not relax... :P
*Throws off his soviet hat and stops on a picture of Stalin*
"Why did you add the picture?"
Its for dramatic Emphasis...
"Oh..."
Beyond that you have written quite a stellar chapter, Everything seemingly fits together in a way that reading does not get tedious, and the plot is expanding into a real world crisis now! O.o And the Heroes must Save the day!
This one gets 4.9 Hammers out of 5, I must really say It is amazing.
*LL sneaks in and adds the last 0.1 hammer to the score and giggles cheekily*
*sigh* I guess LL wants this time to be a perfect score... :P
Also both LL and I are really interested in hearing what LL Said to Amy
"I AM ABSOLUTELY ECSTATIC, AND I WILL TRY TO WAIT FOR NEXT CHAPTER!"
And so am I :)
This is the comrade,
"And This is LL"
Signing Off.
5/11/2012 c10 Blitz the Hedgehog
Hey...it's me again! Um...*clears throat*...how do I say this...oh! WHERE THE HELL DID YOU GO! It's been over a month you crazy girl! Have you even thought about my anxious await for the next chapter all this month? D: You're so selfish!
JK! But seriously, you've been gone a LONG time. Are you okay? If you have like family problems or you've gotten really sick then I totally understand! I know it's nearing the end of the school year but can you spare some time for this story? Tell your teachers that if you don't update this story within a week that a baby bunny somewhere will die a horrible death! o.o Or you can tell them some eccentric girl named Blitz won't leave you alone until you get a story in. -.- Teachers everywhere know to fear the blonde girl named Blitz...
I want to be as un-pushy as possible! Just update when you can! The story was just getting good! *on hands and knees* PLEASE! COME BACK! *reaches towards the sky* I'M DESPERATE! *curls up* Damn it! The sun got in my eyes! *rubs eyes* You better update or so help me I will drive up to your school, drag you from you class, and take you on the best adventure of your life! :D ...That wasn't as threatening as I expected... But I will find you! So...RETURN! Okay, I'm done. :)
Hey...it's me again! Um...*clears throat*...how do I say this...oh! WHERE THE HELL DID YOU GO! It's been over a month you crazy girl! Have you even thought about my anxious await for the next chapter all this month? D: You're so selfish!
JK! But seriously, you've been gone a LONG time. Are you okay? If you have like family problems or you've gotten really sick then I totally understand! I know it's nearing the end of the school year but can you spare some time for this story? Tell your teachers that if you don't update this story within a week that a baby bunny somewhere will die a horrible death! o.o Or you can tell them some eccentric girl named Blitz won't leave you alone until you get a story in. -.- Teachers everywhere know to fear the blonde girl named Blitz...
I want to be as un-pushy as possible! Just update when you can! The story was just getting good! *on hands and knees* PLEASE! COME BACK! *reaches towards the sky* I'M DESPERATE! *curls up* Damn it! The sun got in my eyes! *rubs eyes* You better update or so help me I will drive up to your school, drag you from you class, and take you on the best adventure of your life! :D ...That wasn't as threatening as I expected... But I will find you! So...RETURN! Okay, I'm done. :)
5/3/2012 c1 SunnyAirisu222
At first, I thought that I needed an account to comment on your lovely fanfictions. Now, I'm happily surprised that I can review as a guest.
First off, I wanted to tell you a few things about your other fanfiction:
It was a pure masterpiece - I was looking for a story like this with Sonamy in it for a long while. My favorite couple was Shadiya, but the Sonamy made me smile, too. My favorite scenne of all was the Sally vs. Amy scene - all time favorite. You managed to spin a gorgeus tale, and in myy five years of writing novels, I couldn't achieve the aura you gave that story. Blitz the Hedgehog is a lucky duck - I'd burst with excitement if I got put in your story.
Now, for this one:
It's going great! You still write it perfectly, and the humor has improved. I've read two chapters and halfway through ch. 3, but I'm going to read up until ch. 10 tonight. A masterpiece, like the original Light and Love. Beautiful stories, please update soon!
At first, I thought that I needed an account to comment on your lovely fanfictions. Now, I'm happily surprised that I can review as a guest.
First off, I wanted to tell you a few things about your other fanfiction:
It was a pure masterpiece - I was looking for a story like this with Sonamy in it for a long while. My favorite couple was Shadiya, but the Sonamy made me smile, too. My favorite scenne of all was the Sally vs. Amy scene - all time favorite. You managed to spin a gorgeus tale, and in myy five years of writing novels, I couldn't achieve the aura you gave that story. Blitz the Hedgehog is a lucky duck - I'd burst with excitement if I got put in your story.
Now, for this one:
It's going great! You still write it perfectly, and the humor has improved. I've read two chapters and halfway through ch. 3, but I'm going to read up until ch. 10 tonight. A masterpiece, like the original Light and Love. Beautiful stories, please update soon!
4/24/2012 c10 aj
wheres the other chapter this is getting good
wheres the other chapter this is getting good
4/22/2012 c10 2MeadowsAndSunsets
Lol that was a good April Fools joke! RANDOM QUESTION: Do you like puppys? Ok, anyways I really enjoyed this chapter! And I love your stories! They're so entertaining! Keep up the good work!:D
2MeadowsAndSunsetsLol that was a good April Fools joke! RANDOM QUESTION: Do you like puppys? Ok, anyways I really enjoyed this chapter! And I love your stories! They're so entertaining! Keep up the good work!:D
4/18/2012 c9 1thelovelylunareclipse
You HATE this chapter? I have to say I disagree because
I
L
O
V
E
!
lol the fact that the picture was messed up got to me XD all that hard work for nothing.
Kiya and Shadow make me smile a lot, like always :) and blitz being blitz just HAD to brag about getting the shot, before kiya found out it was messed, anyways XD
found a total of one grammar mistake, but that can be forgiven :3
well, the fact that we had to wait a longer time than usual didn't obscure the wonderfulness of this chapter, like sonic chasing after Kiya and Blitz, or Kiyaand Blitz causing awkward moments, like with Knux and Rouge :)
So, bottom line, i LOVED this chapter
UPDATE SOON(er) PLEASEE (for the sake of my fangirl heart[I already have too many emotions over the Legend Of Korra]) lol :D
-Lokita
1thelovelylunareclipseYou HATE this chapter? I have to say I disagree because
I
L
O
V
E
!
lol the fact that the picture was messed up got to me XD all that hard work for nothing.
Kiya and Shadow make me smile a lot, like always :) and blitz being blitz just HAD to brag about getting the shot, before kiya found out it was messed, anyways XD
found a total of one grammar mistake, but that can be forgiven :3
well, the fact that we had to wait a longer time than usual didn't obscure the wonderfulness of this chapter, like sonic chasing after Kiya and Blitz, or Kiyaand Blitz causing awkward moments, like with Knux and Rouge :)
So, bottom line, i LOVED this chapter
UPDATE SOON(er) PLEASEE (for the sake of my fangirl heart[I already have too many emotions over the Legend Of Korra]) lol :D
-Lokita
4/15/2012 c10 Rin-sama and Len-kun
Nooooooes! Last chapter? *sighs* Well, this story will be dearly missed. *pout* Hey, will you write another story soon? C'mon, please? Another Sonamy? Well, no matter what, I'll read your stories! :)
Keep writing!
~Dani
Nooooooes! Last chapter? *sighs* Well, this story will be dearly missed. *pout* Hey, will you write another story soon? C'mon, please? Another Sonamy? Well, no matter what, I'll read your stories! :)
Keep writing!
~Dani
4/14/2012 c10 Blitz the Hedgehog
OMFG! Oh jeez! Oh crap! What the fuck! Hecate! He's...a...a...ZOMBIE! :o i knew this day would come! *raises chainsaw* Time to GET IT ON! *starts it up and it starts flaming* He's going straight back to where he came from!
My jaw literally dropped when Hecate came alive! I can't believe he knocked me down! That's like...cheating! Impossible! The gauntlet has been thrown! *throws sippy-cup* I accept your challenge evil doer! (I'm up for any challenge! I'm an awesome truth or dare person x) But really. Can't refuse challenges...sometimes a curse.) This means WAR! You will wish you never messed with the best-hedgehog-in-the-universe, ultimate amazing sexy fighter chick: BLITZ! My chainsaw will be so far up his ass he'll be able to taste it! OH! Sorry! War mindset. ^.^; Didn't mean to put that image in your mind...
Moving on! Oh my lighting bolts! (I own lightning bolts you know. -.- haha) Devon is...so cute! :D He has my sword! :D Maybe he'll keep asking for swords just as an excuse to come see me. Haha XD Awh! he's adorable when he's nervous. :3
Sonamy moment! :D I wish I could have seen Amy's reaction when Sonic told her he loves her. That would have been picture worthy! :D But alas, she has turned to a hypnotic shell of a being...until Hecate took her and then my heart when all sad :C Extreme sad face time. Break out the ice cream!
Oh and by the way, you are the motivation I've been waiting for to get an account here! :D I've been throwing around the idea of starting something but never really had the chance to do anything. Plus, I felt that my profile would be empty for a LONG time before I could actually get a story written. :p But I'm on here so much it's like "Hey, what the heck! I'm BLITZ! I can express myself as such!" :D So maybe by the end of the month you'll get a review that's from Blitz...and not "anonymous reviewer." It makes me sound sketchy. o.O I'm not a swear! I'm a good person! :D
Oh! Critique time! *takes out spear* Yeah, I'm going a little medieval but, *throws spear across the room and pins an apple on a guy's head to a giant target* still effective!
Guy: Is that you, Grammy? *faints*
Wow, gotta get better servants- I MEAN friends! Hehee *shifty eyes*
Okay, so what I've noticed is that most of your story is from your point of view. (Narrator's/Author's same difference -.-) You're using 3rd person (he/she/they) to portray the story as if you were watching it on T.V. Well...let's try something more amazing! :D
It's called third person omniscient. (Woah! Now that's a hell of a word!) What it means is that as the author, you have the ability to look into the minds of all the characters. (No, don't use a knife for this we are NOT dissecting their brains literally...which is kinda what I thought at first too. I even brought my dissecting knife! D:) So what you do is you tell it from a specific character's point of view, but instead of saying I/me/my, you can say he/she/they. Then it will be easier to switch perspectives between characters. You can be telling Sonic's thoughts and feelings from one point then transition to Amy's thoughts without having to separate it from the main paragraph and ruin the flow of words. :p Do you understand that? What I'm trying to say it, I'd like more inner emotions from the characters. Like I know she's "sad" and "scared" and stuff but that explains it in a word! I want to FEEL it! Catch my drift? Example time!
It was true. The anxiety was unnatural, not like her at all. There had to be more to it than simple darkness. She took another shallow breath. She just had to get through the night here in the depths of the enemy dungeon. One night. That was it. Then tomorrow her beloved Devon would rescue her from the darkness and the strange twinge of pain in her rib cage called fear. She took another step forward, her manacle jingling drearily.
A sound split the air, freezing her in her tracks. It was a high, howling ululation, a sound of pure mindless terror. It seemed to go on and on like a singing note plucked from a violin, growing higher and thinner and sharper until it was abruptly cut off.
Blitz swore. Her ears were ringing, and she could taste terror in her mouth, like bitter metal. Who would have thought that fear had a taste? She pressed her back against the wall of the cell, willing herself to calm down.
The sound came again, louder this time, and then there was another scream, and another. Something crashed overhead, and Blitz ducked involuntarily before remembering that she was several levels below ground.
Blitz's chest felt as if something heavy were pressed against it. She jerked hard against the manacle, hoping the pain would clear her head. It didn't. A thick noise, a sort of ugly, dragging slither. The fur on the back of her neck stood up like needles. Half out of her mind with horror, she staggered back against the wall, grabbing the torch off the wall and raising it in her wildly jerking hand.
For a moment, she saw the whole room: the cell, the barred door, and the bare flagstoned floor leading to the dark corners of the room. There was a door beyond the bars of the cell. It was opening slowly. Something heaved its way through the door. Something huge and dark and formless, eyes like burning ice, sunk deep into dark folds, regarded Blitz with snarling amusement. Then the thing lunged forward. A great cloud of roiling vapor rose up in front of Blitz's eyes like a wave sweeping the surface of the ocean. The last thing she saw was the flame of her torch guttering green and blue before it was swallowed up by the darkness. -
What do you think? Good? :D Kinda long...but do you see how I don't say I/me/my and still describe feelings? :) Cool, right? Now go try it! Fantastic chapter! 10 chapters completed! Now onto the suspenseful amazing stuff! Update soon! SERIOUSLY! Like, within this month please? I'll die if I don't hear from you. XP BYE BEST BUDDY, ZEL! :D
OMFG! Oh jeez! Oh crap! What the fuck! Hecate! He's...a...a...ZOMBIE! :o i knew this day would come! *raises chainsaw* Time to GET IT ON! *starts it up and it starts flaming* He's going straight back to where he came from!
My jaw literally dropped when Hecate came alive! I can't believe he knocked me down! That's like...cheating! Impossible! The gauntlet has been thrown! *throws sippy-cup* I accept your challenge evil doer! (I'm up for any challenge! I'm an awesome truth or dare person x) But really. Can't refuse challenges...sometimes a curse.) This means WAR! You will wish you never messed with the best-hedgehog-in-the-universe, ultimate amazing sexy fighter chick: BLITZ! My chainsaw will be so far up his ass he'll be able to taste it! OH! Sorry! War mindset. ^.^; Didn't mean to put that image in your mind...
Moving on! Oh my lighting bolts! (I own lightning bolts you know. -.- haha) Devon is...so cute! :D He has my sword! :D Maybe he'll keep asking for swords just as an excuse to come see me. Haha XD Awh! he's adorable when he's nervous. :3
Sonamy moment! :D I wish I could have seen Amy's reaction when Sonic told her he loves her. That would have been picture worthy! :D But alas, she has turned to a hypnotic shell of a being...until Hecate took her and then my heart when all sad :C Extreme sad face time. Break out the ice cream!
Oh and by the way, you are the motivation I've been waiting for to get an account here! :D I've been throwing around the idea of starting something but never really had the chance to do anything. Plus, I felt that my profile would be empty for a LONG time before I could actually get a story written. :p But I'm on here so much it's like "Hey, what the heck! I'm BLITZ! I can express myself as such!" :D So maybe by the end of the month you'll get a review that's from Blitz...and not "anonymous reviewer." It makes me sound sketchy. o.O I'm not a swear! I'm a good person! :D
Oh! Critique time! *takes out spear* Yeah, I'm going a little medieval but, *throws spear across the room and pins an apple on a guy's head to a giant target* still effective!
Guy: Is that you, Grammy? *faints*
Wow, gotta get better servants- I MEAN friends! Hehee *shifty eyes*
Okay, so what I've noticed is that most of your story is from your point of view. (Narrator's/Author's same difference -.-) You're using 3rd person (he/she/they) to portray the story as if you were watching it on T.V. Well...let's try something more amazing! :D
It's called third person omniscient. (Woah! Now that's a hell of a word!) What it means is that as the author, you have the ability to look into the minds of all the characters. (No, don't use a knife for this we are NOT dissecting their brains literally...which is kinda what I thought at first too. I even brought my dissecting knife! D:) So what you do is you tell it from a specific character's point of view, but instead of saying I/me/my, you can say he/she/they. Then it will be easier to switch perspectives between characters. You can be telling Sonic's thoughts and feelings from one point then transition to Amy's thoughts without having to separate it from the main paragraph and ruin the flow of words. :p Do you understand that? What I'm trying to say it, I'd like more inner emotions from the characters. Like I know she's "sad" and "scared" and stuff but that explains it in a word! I want to FEEL it! Catch my drift? Example time!
It was true. The anxiety was unnatural, not like her at all. There had to be more to it than simple darkness. She took another shallow breath. She just had to get through the night here in the depths of the enemy dungeon. One night. That was it. Then tomorrow her beloved Devon would rescue her from the darkness and the strange twinge of pain in her rib cage called fear. She took another step forward, her manacle jingling drearily.
A sound split the air, freezing her in her tracks. It was a high, howling ululation, a sound of pure mindless terror. It seemed to go on and on like a singing note plucked from a violin, growing higher and thinner and sharper until it was abruptly cut off.
Blitz swore. Her ears were ringing, and she could taste terror in her mouth, like bitter metal. Who would have thought that fear had a taste? She pressed her back against the wall of the cell, willing herself to calm down.
The sound came again, louder this time, and then there was another scream, and another. Something crashed overhead, and Blitz ducked involuntarily before remembering that she was several levels below ground.
Blitz's chest felt as if something heavy were pressed against it. She jerked hard against the manacle, hoping the pain would clear her head. It didn't. A thick noise, a sort of ugly, dragging slither. The fur on the back of her neck stood up like needles. Half out of her mind with horror, she staggered back against the wall, grabbing the torch off the wall and raising it in her wildly jerking hand.
For a moment, she saw the whole room: the cell, the barred door, and the bare flagstoned floor leading to the dark corners of the room. There was a door beyond the bars of the cell. It was opening slowly. Something heaved its way through the door. Something huge and dark and formless, eyes like burning ice, sunk deep into dark folds, regarded Blitz with snarling amusement. Then the thing lunged forward. A great cloud of roiling vapor rose up in front of Blitz's eyes like a wave sweeping the surface of the ocean. The last thing she saw was the flame of her torch guttering green and blue before it was swallowed up by the darkness. -
What do you think? Good? :D Kinda long...but do you see how I don't say I/me/my and still describe feelings? :) Cool, right? Now go try it! Fantastic chapter! 10 chapters completed! Now onto the suspenseful amazing stuff! Update soon! SERIOUSLY! Like, within this month please? I'll die if I don't hear from you. XP BYE BEST BUDDY, ZEL! :D
4/14/2012 c10 4Comrade Athelwine
*Comes inside with Red Bolshevik Rage*
Dont... You... Make that Kind of Aprils fool! *Is just about to stab you with a huge Flag, before is pounced by LL*
"FY! Dont do that!" *Hedgehog Glare*
B-b-b-b-but It was cruel-
"Well so are you!" *Evil Glare*
But then, I will have to- *Hedgehog Ties me up with my own flag*
Hey! Thats not fair! *Hedgehog Grins*
"You know the world Aint Fair, thats why you believe what you do, Dont you?" *Hedgehog Clears throat and takes My Hat on*
"Well Since he is Ill Disposed, I will have to do the Review... He is a bit Tied up right now *giggle*"
"Ok, I Really Love Reading about Little Blitzie and Kiya, and they are the best duo in history! ^^
Great to See Knuckie and The Rouge get along, their flirting almost Rival mine. *Beams*"
Hey! Dont make this about you!
"You are Tied up sir, Objection Overruled..."
But you arent-
"Overruled! *Clears throat* Anyway... You kept us both at the edge of our seats, and It is really funny with the idea of Kiya calling it a Sonamy moment. Hilarious ^^
Also, Way to make everything suddenly more hectic and scary. Damn that Hectate! He shall be defeated by Little Blitzie! She is the Greatest Hedgehog in the Universe!"
You are only saying that because You are-
"Shush! No Spoilers!"
*Turns head* Whatever, Im the writer... You will have to release me at some point...
"Again, I ABSOLUTELY Love this story, and cant wait for the next chapter. Well This is LL signing of-"
Wait a Second! You haven't said anything bad yet!
"So?"
You have to!
"Why?"
The Reviewers Law and curse! If nothing is made then I will turn at a full moon! O.o
"Well thats not my problem is it?"
T_T Oh God what have I created!
"You dont even believe in god..."
Shut up!
*Hedgehog shakes his head. He then smiled.*
"Oh! Zelzainia, What i wanted to say was... THANK YOU FOR REVIEWING! ^^ I Am So happy! I could Only be happier if I came along with you-"
Ok Fuck this *Cuts up the flag and jumps LL*
.
.
.
.
.
*Cartoon like dust cloud of fighting, finally, Completely Russian soldier like dressed writer sits on top of LL*
This *pant* Was the comrade...*pant* Signing off...
4Comrade Athelwine*Comes inside with Red Bolshevik Rage*
Dont... You... Make that Kind of Aprils fool! *Is just about to stab you with a huge Flag, before is pounced by LL*
"FY! Dont do that!" *Hedgehog Glare*
B-b-b-b-but It was cruel-
"Well so are you!" *Evil Glare*
But then, I will have to- *Hedgehog Ties me up with my own flag*
Hey! Thats not fair! *Hedgehog Grins*
"You know the world Aint Fair, thats why you believe what you do, Dont you?" *Hedgehog Clears throat and takes My Hat on*
"Well Since he is Ill Disposed, I will have to do the Review... He is a bit Tied up right now *giggle*"
"Ok, I Really Love Reading about Little Blitzie and Kiya, and they are the best duo in history! ^^
Great to See Knuckie and The Rouge get along, their flirting almost Rival mine. *Beams*"
Hey! Dont make this about you!
"You are Tied up sir, Objection Overruled..."
But you arent-
"Overruled! *Clears throat* Anyway... You kept us both at the edge of our seats, and It is really funny with the idea of Kiya calling it a Sonamy moment. Hilarious ^^
Also, Way to make everything suddenly more hectic and scary. Damn that Hectate! He shall be defeated by Little Blitzie! She is the Greatest Hedgehog in the Universe!"
You are only saying that because You are-
"Shush! No Spoilers!"
*Turns head* Whatever, Im the writer... You will have to release me at some point...
"Again, I ABSOLUTELY Love this story, and cant wait for the next chapter. Well This is LL signing of-"
Wait a Second! You haven't said anything bad yet!
"So?"
You have to!
"Why?"
The Reviewers Law and curse! If nothing is made then I will turn at a full moon! O.o
"Well thats not my problem is it?"
T_T Oh God what have I created!
"You dont even believe in god..."
Shut up!
*Hedgehog shakes his head. He then smiled.*
"Oh! Zelzainia, What i wanted to say was... THANK YOU FOR REVIEWING! ^^ I Am So happy! I could Only be happier if I came along with you-"
Ok Fuck this *Cuts up the flag and jumps LL*
.
.
.
.
.
*Cartoon like dust cloud of fighting, finally, Completely Russian soldier like dressed writer sits on top of LL*
This *pant* Was the comrade...*pant* Signing off...
4/13/2012 c10 just me
My sister probably thinks I'm insane I've been laughing so hard! Love love love!
Back ground, I read the first book and the first chapter of this one when it came out, but then I stopped until tonight. And then you said you were going to stop? What? OK just thought I'd throw that out there...
Can't pick a favorite part! ... but can I just say that Hecate is deliciously evil?
My sister probably thinks I'm insane I've been laughing so hard! Love love love!
Back ground, I read the first book and the first chapter of this one when it came out, but then I stopped until tonight. And then you said you were going to stop? What? OK just thought I'd throw that out there...
Can't pick a favorite part! ... but can I just say that Hecate is deliciously evil?
4/13/2012 c10 AL3X TH3 H3DG3HOG
OMG you gave me a freaking heart attack at the beginning, but wow that chapter was awsome, I'd say that this story just got 20% cooler! sorry I'm a Brony and can't help it. keep up the good work!
OMG you gave me a freaking heart attack at the beginning, but wow that chapter was awsome, I'd say that this story just got 20% cooler! sorry I'm a Brony and can't help it. keep up the good work!