for Light and Love: Spring of Dreams2/22/2012 c7 
1thelovelylunareclipse
DAMN YOU CLIFFHANGER!
Lol well I gotta say I'm happy :) you UPDATED FASTER! YAYYYYYY! Also because we've got taiream and a little sonamy ppl! Speaking of...
WAT JUST HAPPENED TO SONIC AND AMES? I suspect the silver band! Lol
But I'll wait till the next chappie...ugh, this suspense is killing me... Omg can't wait...HURRY UP YU STUPID CHAPTER! Lol sorry :P but if you knew me, you would know there is method to my madness XD
LMAO the part with you and lina in the story with guns made me DIE X'D again, I was laughing pretty hard. I'm guessing lina is the crazy-er one out of the two of you (sorry lina! ^-^') and kumiko (I'm just gunna call her that from now on [hope you don't mind] so whenever I say kiya I mean the older one :P) and blitzairia wanting to go into amy's shadow but kumiko ended up with that spot XD
But tails talking about Cosmo (yes, I watched Sonic X) made me a little sad. But then the taiream came in and I was all good :P also, I have a SUGGESTION FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER!
Okay well... You mentioned Cosmo so I'm wondering if Chris and Chuck and Ella are all gunna be there in the story somewhere. I'm sure chris would become friends with blitzairia and kumiko very easily.
Now, onto some actual critiquing!
The spelling and grammar was
A
M
A
Z
I
N
G
Seriously! I only saw like, two word with the wrong useage of the apostraphy! Well done!
Well, that's it for now, so PLEASE UPDATE SOON!
Lol *whips curly black hair over shoulder* see ya :P
-Lokita
1thelovelylunareclipseDAMN YOU CLIFFHANGER!
Lol well I gotta say I'm happy :) you UPDATED FASTER! YAYYYYYY! Also because we've got taiream and a little sonamy ppl! Speaking of...
WAT JUST HAPPENED TO SONIC AND AMES? I suspect the silver band! Lol
But I'll wait till the next chappie...ugh, this suspense is killing me... Omg can't wait...HURRY UP YU STUPID CHAPTER! Lol sorry :P but if you knew me, you would know there is method to my madness XD
LMAO the part with you and lina in the story with guns made me DIE X'D again, I was laughing pretty hard. I'm guessing lina is the crazy-er one out of the two of you (sorry lina! ^-^') and kumiko (I'm just gunna call her that from now on [hope you don't mind] so whenever I say kiya I mean the older one :P) and blitzairia wanting to go into amy's shadow but kumiko ended up with that spot XD
But tails talking about Cosmo (yes, I watched Sonic X) made me a little sad. But then the taiream came in and I was all good :P also, I have a SUGGESTION FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER!
Okay well... You mentioned Cosmo so I'm wondering if Chris and Chuck and Ella are all gunna be there in the story somewhere. I'm sure chris would become friends with blitzairia and kumiko very easily.
Now, onto some actual critiquing!
The spelling and grammar was
A
M
A
Z
I
N
G
Seriously! I only saw like, two word with the wrong useage of the apostraphy! Well done!
Well, that's it for now, so PLEASE UPDATE SOON!
Lol *whips curly black hair over shoulder* see ya :P
-Lokita
2/21/2012 c7 Blitz the Hedgehog
Hey! Hey! HEY YOU! Stop what you're doing! Stop it right now! That's right, buck-o, DROP IT. What were you thinking! You didn't think I would catch you doing that! God, you're sick! What would your parents say right now if they saw you doing that? Hmm? Oh God you disgust me. How could you ever live with yourself! Go to hell. Just. Go. To. Hell. -.-
JUST KIDDING!
Haha wouldn't it have ben funny if you were actually doing something wrong when you read this? XD Hilarious!
Okay, yes it's me! Blitz hedgie! Back for some good reading! I totally came to the right place. :D So now were back to the present again with the present Sonic and Amy. (Don't think I forgot the Sonamy! :D) Yep! Time to analyze your work! Dissecting time! *puts on goggles and gets handed a knife off screen*
WAIT! *examining knife* What the hell is this?
Offscreen guy: Um...the knife you ordered.
*looks at guy off screen* This is a monstrosity! I can't review with THIS! *throws on ground* A puny excuse for a knife if you ask me!
*gets handed a sword* You've GOT to be kidding me! I chop onions with this kind of stuff! *throws knife off screen and a guy screams like a little girl* I. NEED. A. KNIFE.
Blitzaria: Here you go, Mom. *hands me a knife with a blade half the size of my body and as thick as the width of a horse* Sorry about the stage crew, they're still new to the concept of...you. *smiles sweetly*
*smiles back* Now that's my girl! *holds up knife* Time to review! :D
Okay, so it seems that you have the concept of describing down. You've got great descriptions and wonderful structured ideas. Now, I'm feeling a bit lost and bored with things like "red this, blue that" so I believe its time to TAKE IT UP A NOTCH!
*blade of sword sets ablaze in hand*
Haha! It's time I taught you...metaphors and similes. :o Dun. Dun. DUUUUNN. Metaphors is a figure of speech where a word/phrase is applied (compared to) an object or action which is not literally there. [Confused? Let Blitzy explain! :3]
Example: (Taking this from my brain...sorry brain D:) "Tell me what you want," he whispered. I gazed at him, blood roared in my ears. My veins were on fire. Devon's dark eyes were full of pain. "Devon," I whispered. "I want-" And then I was leaning over him, my blonde bangs brushing against his cheeks as I bent to kiss him. Our lips met and I felt like I was diving into oblivion. The kiss grew deep, immediate and hungry. He lifted me up and I wrapped my legs around his waist, molding my body against his. Our kisses were so full of need, so long, so fierce that I could hardly gasp for breath. His hands slipped beneath my shirt, stroking my stomach, sliding it up, pushing aside my bra. [oops sorry bout that! :o hehe] I moaned and and bit his lip, reveling in the full press of his weight against me as our bodies began to move together. With each touch of his fingers my skin came alive, crackling like tinder under a lit match. Burning away fear. Burning away sorrow. Burning away loss.
WELL! Now that's done! :o Jeez that was much longer than I expected! But it's go lost of metaphors and similes! We'll start with the 3rd sentence. "My veins were on fire" No! Not literally! She's not running around screaming "MY VEAINS ARE ON FIRE!" XD Metaphor! When kissing someone passionately, you sometimes feel warm, electric...in this case ON FIRE! Compare your own feelings to an object! When your freezing...you feel paralyzed! You can't move because your so cold! When you're scared, you feel your heart drop and the color drain from your face (that terrible sinking feeling *shivers*) Try sentence (don't wanna count) "Our lips met and...oblivion" Yeah, that one! When you kiss your lover (meow ;3 haha) you just feel like nothing matters in the world. You've just disappeared off the face of the earth! Where exactly do you go? Oblivion of course! Or maybe you prefer Fairytale land? Whatever suits your kitten. :D Last one and probably my personal fav, "With each touch of his fingers...a lit match" Find it! Read it! Good. :) His fingers (a real object) made me feel warm. My body felt tingly. Interesting! Well, let's make an object out of that description to compare it to! Well, warm...FIRE :D yay! and tingly? well...what burns well in fire? EVERYTHING! :D haha! No, wait. Not water based objects. :( Darn. But wait! Tingly...well fire crackles right? That kinda looks tingly! I'll do that! :D See! That's how it's done!
Yes, this new tactic may be...difficult (I'm still perfecting it obviously XD) but you'll get the hang of it some day! I really wish I learned about this stuff when I was your age! I would have been a much better writer than I am now! :D haha. Well, just practice with that! Look at your own emotions and compare them to things! When your bored, you may actually feel like a plain old wooden bored. :D haha try it! it's fun...seriously. *raises knife* Do. It.
Okay! Well, this was fun! (and my longest review! Holy Jeeze over 5000 characters! :o Blitz time is over! Have a great day! XD BYES! UpDaTe SoOn!
Hey! Hey! HEY YOU! Stop what you're doing! Stop it right now! That's right, buck-o, DROP IT. What were you thinking! You didn't think I would catch you doing that! God, you're sick! What would your parents say right now if they saw you doing that? Hmm? Oh God you disgust me. How could you ever live with yourself! Go to hell. Just. Go. To. Hell. -.-
JUST KIDDING!
Haha wouldn't it have ben funny if you were actually doing something wrong when you read this? XD Hilarious!
Okay, yes it's me! Blitz hedgie! Back for some good reading! I totally came to the right place. :D So now were back to the present again with the present Sonic and Amy. (Don't think I forgot the Sonamy! :D) Yep! Time to analyze your work! Dissecting time! *puts on goggles and gets handed a knife off screen*
WAIT! *examining knife* What the hell is this?
Offscreen guy: Um...the knife you ordered.
*looks at guy off screen* This is a monstrosity! I can't review with THIS! *throws on ground* A puny excuse for a knife if you ask me!
*gets handed a sword* You've GOT to be kidding me! I chop onions with this kind of stuff! *throws knife off screen and a guy screams like a little girl* I. NEED. A. KNIFE.
Blitzaria: Here you go, Mom. *hands me a knife with a blade half the size of my body and as thick as the width of a horse* Sorry about the stage crew, they're still new to the concept of...you. *smiles sweetly*
*smiles back* Now that's my girl! *holds up knife* Time to review! :D
Okay, so it seems that you have the concept of describing down. You've got great descriptions and wonderful structured ideas. Now, I'm feeling a bit lost and bored with things like "red this, blue that" so I believe its time to TAKE IT UP A NOTCH!
*blade of sword sets ablaze in hand*
Haha! It's time I taught you...metaphors and similes. :o Dun. Dun. DUUUUNN. Metaphors is a figure of speech where a word/phrase is applied (compared to) an object or action which is not literally there. [Confused? Let Blitzy explain! :3]
Example: (Taking this from my brain...sorry brain D:) "Tell me what you want," he whispered. I gazed at him, blood roared in my ears. My veins were on fire. Devon's dark eyes were full of pain. "Devon," I whispered. "I want-" And then I was leaning over him, my blonde bangs brushing against his cheeks as I bent to kiss him. Our lips met and I felt like I was diving into oblivion. The kiss grew deep, immediate and hungry. He lifted me up and I wrapped my legs around his waist, molding my body against his. Our kisses were so full of need, so long, so fierce that I could hardly gasp for breath. His hands slipped beneath my shirt, stroking my stomach, sliding it up, pushing aside my bra. [oops sorry bout that! :o hehe] I moaned and and bit his lip, reveling in the full press of his weight against me as our bodies began to move together. With each touch of his fingers my skin came alive, crackling like tinder under a lit match. Burning away fear. Burning away sorrow. Burning away loss.
WELL! Now that's done! :o Jeez that was much longer than I expected! But it's go lost of metaphors and similes! We'll start with the 3rd sentence. "My veins were on fire" No! Not literally! She's not running around screaming "MY VEAINS ARE ON FIRE!" XD Metaphor! When kissing someone passionately, you sometimes feel warm, electric...in this case ON FIRE! Compare your own feelings to an object! When your freezing...you feel paralyzed! You can't move because your so cold! When you're scared, you feel your heart drop and the color drain from your face (that terrible sinking feeling *shivers*) Try sentence (don't wanna count) "Our lips met and...oblivion" Yeah, that one! When you kiss your lover (meow ;3 haha) you just feel like nothing matters in the world. You've just disappeared off the face of the earth! Where exactly do you go? Oblivion of course! Or maybe you prefer Fairytale land? Whatever suits your kitten. :D Last one and probably my personal fav, "With each touch of his fingers...a lit match" Find it! Read it! Good. :) His fingers (a real object) made me feel warm. My body felt tingly. Interesting! Well, let's make an object out of that description to compare it to! Well, warm...FIRE :D yay! and tingly? well...what burns well in fire? EVERYTHING! :D haha! No, wait. Not water based objects. :( Darn. But wait! Tingly...well fire crackles right? That kinda looks tingly! I'll do that! :D See! That's how it's done!
Yes, this new tactic may be...difficult (I'm still perfecting it obviously XD) but you'll get the hang of it some day! I really wish I learned about this stuff when I was your age! I would have been a much better writer than I am now! :D haha. Well, just practice with that! Look at your own emotions and compare them to things! When your bored, you may actually feel like a plain old wooden bored. :D haha try it! it's fun...seriously. *raises knife* Do. It.
Okay! Well, this was fun! (and my longest review! Holy Jeeze over 5000 characters! :o Blitz time is over! Have a great day! XD BYES! UpDaTe SoOn!
2/21/2012 c7 4Comrade Athelwine
*Sits Now feeling very lonely without his bad reviewer hat*
But... I cant really use it Here Either...
At most, I will say that some things seem a bit rushed, and other things just seem a bit shoehorned in, but well, that is kind of what I have come to love about your story :)
*throws himself back into the couch*
I HAVE NOTHING TO HELP WITH! T_T
*Tries to think of something to say again*
Uhm...
Well most of my questions will most likely be answered in the next chapter, and the cliff hanger is gone... -_-
*Golden Hedgehog pokes out happily* "Ive Become Reality!"
*Sits on top of the Hedgehog* "Shut Up! Im Trying to be a Reviewer Here!"
*Hedgehog Sad T_T*
Well If I have to complain, i was rather amazed how little and how fast we get The TailsXCream story. Not that i dont approve of the couple, then I just felt like they were a bit rushed.
*Sighs*
You have truly put me checkmate here... I CANT COMPLAIN! T_T
*Hedgehog Cheers* "You Shut him up! FINALLY! Now he can focus on me! ^^"
*Keeps sitting on top of Hedgehog* "Dont be So sure..."
I am sitting on Pins and needles for the next chapter again, and I cant do anything Productive for you through this review T_T sorry...
4Comrade Athelwine*Sits Now feeling very lonely without his bad reviewer hat*
But... I cant really use it Here Either...
At most, I will say that some things seem a bit rushed, and other things just seem a bit shoehorned in, but well, that is kind of what I have come to love about your story :)
*throws himself back into the couch*
I HAVE NOTHING TO HELP WITH! T_T
*Tries to think of something to say again*
Uhm...
Well most of my questions will most likely be answered in the next chapter, and the cliff hanger is gone... -_-
*Golden Hedgehog pokes out happily* "Ive Become Reality!"
*Sits on top of the Hedgehog* "Shut Up! Im Trying to be a Reviewer Here!"
*Hedgehog Sad T_T*
Well If I have to complain, i was rather amazed how little and how fast we get The TailsXCream story. Not that i dont approve of the couple, then I just felt like they were a bit rushed.
*Sighs*
You have truly put me checkmate here... I CANT COMPLAIN! T_T
*Hedgehog Cheers* "You Shut him up! FINALLY! Now he can focus on me! ^^"
*Keeps sitting on top of Hedgehog* "Dont be So sure..."
I am sitting on Pins and needles for the next chapter again, and I cant do anything Productive for you through this review T_T sorry...
2/20/2012 c7 Rin-sama and Len-kun
YES! :DDDD Another AWESOME chapter! :DDD O.O POOR Amy and Sonic! -.- To stubborn to admit their feelings... I wonder what happened to Amy..! PLEASE UPDATE WHEN YOU HAVE THE TIME! (Preferably soon, since the authoress may die from lack of "L&L:SoD". XD) Keep writing, and keep up the good work! :)
~Dani~
YES! :DDDD Another AWESOME chapter! :DDD O.O POOR Amy and Sonic! -.- To stubborn to admit their feelings... I wonder what happened to Amy..! PLEASE UPDATE WHEN YOU HAVE THE TIME! (Preferably soon, since the authoress may die from lack of "L&L:SoD". XD) Keep writing, and keep up the good work! :)
~Dani~
2/20/2012 c7 20-Eeveelution-0
Thanks! (I'm actaully Lunar Sapphire, but I changed my name! :) ) What's happening? O.O Amy!
PLEASE update soon! I can't wait to find out what happens!
20-Eeveelution-0Thanks! (I'm actaully Lunar Sapphire, but I changed my name! :) ) What's happening? O.O Amy!
PLEASE update soon! I can't wait to find out what happens!
2/16/2012 c6 1thelovelylunareclipse
OMG WOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOW
this chapter was amazing! worth the wait :P
srry i read it late again, busy with other things ^-^'
well the descriptions were awesome, as always, and the GRAMMAR was...GREAT! i didn't see many mistakes this time! YAYYYYYYYYYY
well the mistakes i did see were the wrong use of the APOSTRAPHY. example:
"knock'in on doors" CORRECTION: "KNOCKIN' on doors"
"energy that flooded its' pure water" CORRECTION: "energy that flooded ITS pure water"
"her daughters' frail arm" CORRECTION: "her DAUGHTER'S frail arm"
well i found it kind of humorous that sonic and amy found the spring of dreams on a date XD and the fact that Sophia talks a lot like Kumiko XD XD lol and i LOVE Blitzairia's way of knocking on doors, i was laughing at the small "please" that came after her shouting XD XD
also, a few comments:
blitz seemed...different in this chapter.
and also, the tag battle between Kumiko, Blitzairia, Blitz and Kiya was kinda funny, because of the fact that when Kiya came in the batle was over.
well, im honestly in love with this story, and you're doing great with it :)
update sooner! the wait will probably kill me because of that cliffhanger!
lol well im out, so bye ;)
-Lokita
1thelovelylunareclipseOMG WOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOW
this chapter was amazing! worth the wait :P
srry i read it late again, busy with other things ^-^'
well the descriptions were awesome, as always, and the GRAMMAR was...GREAT! i didn't see many mistakes this time! YAYYYYYYYYYY
well the mistakes i did see were the wrong use of the APOSTRAPHY. example:
"knock'in on doors" CORRECTION: "KNOCKIN' on doors"
"energy that flooded its' pure water" CORRECTION: "energy that flooded ITS pure water"
"her daughters' frail arm" CORRECTION: "her DAUGHTER'S frail arm"
well i found it kind of humorous that sonic and amy found the spring of dreams on a date XD and the fact that Sophia talks a lot like Kumiko XD XD lol and i LOVE Blitzairia's way of knocking on doors, i was laughing at the small "please" that came after her shouting XD XD
also, a few comments:
blitz seemed...different in this chapter.
and also, the tag battle between Kumiko, Blitzairia, Blitz and Kiya was kinda funny, because of the fact that when Kiya came in the batle was over.
well, im honestly in love with this story, and you're doing great with it :)
update sooner! the wait will probably kill me because of that cliffhanger!
lol well im out, so bye ;)
-Lokita
2/5/2012 c6 Blitz the Hedgehog
*Gets halfway through reading and jumps out of chair* HOLY SHIT THIS CHAPTER IS ALL ABOUT ME! :o *Still for a moment* DANCE PARTY~! *Dancing with disco lights* Yeah! That's right! *Pelvic thrust* I've got the MOVES! *Worm on the floor* I'M A WINNER!
Oh jeez, were you here for all that? :o I'm sorry! I just scarred you for life...do you want fries with that? :) Oh my goodness I was incredibly excited when I saw that my little Blitzaria fighting out on the field! *Super squeaky voice* She makes me so proud!
I'm going to get serious for a moment (enjoy it while you can, I'm almost never serious :D). I'd seriously like to thank you for putting me in your story. I've seen how other readers have adopted me graciously as a character and loved my eccentric personality and insane fighting skills. :) I never thought I would reach this level of acceptance with readers and let me tell you, it's a great feeling. To read other comments and see how much they like my crazy outbursts and my 'do-now-think-later' philosophy, it make me wanna kiss a rainbow and ride a unicorn! Haha. Really, thank you for bringing me (or my character, however you wanna see me) to life with your words. (Does that make you my mommy? D:) Haha
Okay! Now that the mushy stuff is over it's time to REVIEW! *Takes out chainsaw*
*Looks for mistakes* Wait... *still searches* is this for realzies?...*searches frantically* Oh my gosh you did it! *throws chainsaw off screen and breaks window and car alarm starts* You made a perfect chapter!
Another dance party? If you say so! :D *Dancing again* You had extraordinary describing skills and the fight seen...I WAS NOT EXPECTING THOSE TWISTS! CO-OP BITCHES! Haha Sorry Blitzaria, but this is how it would be in battle. I'm here to prepare you sweetie pie. ^.^ I've seen you fight...now let's see you run. *evil smile*
Blitzaria: Please don't kill me!
Me: Please don't MAKE me. *Whips out flame thrower*
Well yeah, I don't have any advice to help you because you're already perfect! :D Reward yourself! Have some pie! Keep up the good work! There is so much I could say about this chapter and how amazing it was but I'm Blitz and I get bored of words really easily. -_- Now, If you'll excuse me, I need to chase down my daughter and teach her the ways of the warrior.
*Starts chasing with flame thrower* BLITZARIA! Never sympathize with the enemy! Emotions will give you strength! Find your opponent's weakness and exploit it! Fear is the most powerful weapon of all! Tell Zel to update soon!
Blitaria: *running and panting* Update soon! PLEASE! I want to LIVE!
*Gets halfway through reading and jumps out of chair* HOLY SHIT THIS CHAPTER IS ALL ABOUT ME! :o *Still for a moment* DANCE PARTY~! *Dancing with disco lights* Yeah! That's right! *Pelvic thrust* I've got the MOVES! *Worm on the floor* I'M A WINNER!
Oh jeez, were you here for all that? :o I'm sorry! I just scarred you for life...do you want fries with that? :) Oh my goodness I was incredibly excited when I saw that my little Blitzaria fighting out on the field! *Super squeaky voice* She makes me so proud!
I'm going to get serious for a moment (enjoy it while you can, I'm almost never serious :D). I'd seriously like to thank you for putting me in your story. I've seen how other readers have adopted me graciously as a character and loved my eccentric personality and insane fighting skills. :) I never thought I would reach this level of acceptance with readers and let me tell you, it's a great feeling. To read other comments and see how much they like my crazy outbursts and my 'do-now-think-later' philosophy, it make me wanna kiss a rainbow and ride a unicorn! Haha. Really, thank you for bringing me (or my character, however you wanna see me) to life with your words. (Does that make you my mommy? D:) Haha
Okay! Now that the mushy stuff is over it's time to REVIEW! *Takes out chainsaw*
*Looks for mistakes* Wait... *still searches* is this for realzies?...*searches frantically* Oh my gosh you did it! *throws chainsaw off screen and breaks window and car alarm starts* You made a perfect chapter!
Another dance party? If you say so! :D *Dancing again* You had extraordinary describing skills and the fight seen...I WAS NOT EXPECTING THOSE TWISTS! CO-OP BITCHES! Haha Sorry Blitzaria, but this is how it would be in battle. I'm here to prepare you sweetie pie. ^.^ I've seen you fight...now let's see you run. *evil smile*
Blitzaria: Please don't kill me!
Me: Please don't MAKE me. *Whips out flame thrower*
Well yeah, I don't have any advice to help you because you're already perfect! :D Reward yourself! Have some pie! Keep up the good work! There is so much I could say about this chapter and how amazing it was but I'm Blitz and I get bored of words really easily. -_- Now, If you'll excuse me, I need to chase down my daughter and teach her the ways of the warrior.
*Starts chasing with flame thrower* BLITZARIA! Never sympathize with the enemy! Emotions will give you strength! Find your opponent's weakness and exploit it! Fear is the most powerful weapon of all! Tell Zel to update soon!
Blitaria: *running and panting* Update soon! PLEASE! I want to LIVE!
2/5/2012 c6 Rin-sama and Len-kun
Wow... I'm, sorry about that, I had no idea... This chapter is da bomb! (I don't think I've ever said that! Cool! XD) Now I know how they got to the future! Keep up the good work! Update when you can! :)
~Dani~
Wow... I'm, sorry about that, I had no idea... This chapter is da bomb! (I don't think I've ever said that! Cool! XD) Now I know how they got to the future! Keep up the good work! Update when you can! :)
~Dani~
2/5/2012 c6 20-Eeveelution-0
Awesome job! :) I REALLY like this story so far! :D Please keep up the goood work!
20-Eeveelution-0Awesome job! :) I REALLY like this story so far! :D Please keep up the goood work!
2/5/2012 c6 4Comrade Athelwine
*Looks at his bad reviewing hat... Staring at it*
"Why have I found no use for you In this chapter?"
*Hat looks apologetic*
"Uhm... I don't know?"
*Throws the hat into the spring of dreams*
"Find a use for yourself!" *takes on his normal hat*
*sigh* "I will have to admit that I cant come up with any real critique... There was perhaps a few times where i felt there were over dramatist but that's it..."
I HAVE FAILED AS A REVIEWER! T_T
Blitzairia and Kumio Kiya are just such an awesome duo! I can just imagine the film trailers already XD
"Two Hedgehogs... One Adventure... "
You are extremely awesome to describe everything from places, to people.
Also I loved how Rouge´s thievish nature begins to emerge XD I at first wondered why Sophia would hate her mother, but well... I get it now XD
As a Nitpicker I would say, No... That Tax money goes to build nunneries and monasteries is a horrible idea... Does not give anything back in the long run -_-
*Turns to Blitz*
"Oh by the way... You Really have a new way of thinking when it comes to raising children... Im impressed...
I hope it isnt like that every day? Little Blitzaria is sitting and reading a book, only to get jumped by her mother out of nowhere o.O
*Gets poked on the shoulder by a Golden Hedgehog*
"Can i say something?"
"Not until you get onto paper, and not only live in my head..."
*Hedgehog sad* "Awwww"
Ok, I have dragged this on long enough...
I am already sitting on pins and needles for the next chapter, and i know the feeling of letting stories drag out because of school work... I still am writing on my Fic, but i have two written assignments i need to finish...
*Hedgehog pushes me*
"And you need to make me Reality!"
Ow... what was that for? You got secondary priority...
*Hedgehog Cries* "YOU NEVER THINK ABOUT MY FEELINGS T_T" *runs out*
Huh... Uhm...
Ill see you next time then :)
5.4 Hammers out of 6
^^
4Comrade Athelwine*Looks at his bad reviewing hat... Staring at it*
"Why have I found no use for you In this chapter?"
*Hat looks apologetic*
"Uhm... I don't know?"
*Throws the hat into the spring of dreams*
"Find a use for yourself!" *takes on his normal hat*
*sigh* "I will have to admit that I cant come up with any real critique... There was perhaps a few times where i felt there were over dramatist but that's it..."
I HAVE FAILED AS A REVIEWER! T_T
Blitzairia and Kumio Kiya are just such an awesome duo! I can just imagine the film trailers already XD
"Two Hedgehogs... One Adventure... "
You are extremely awesome to describe everything from places, to people.
Also I loved how Rouge´s thievish nature begins to emerge XD I at first wondered why Sophia would hate her mother, but well... I get it now XD
As a Nitpicker I would say, No... That Tax money goes to build nunneries and monasteries is a horrible idea... Does not give anything back in the long run -_-
*Turns to Blitz*
"Oh by the way... You Really have a new way of thinking when it comes to raising children... Im impressed...
I hope it isnt like that every day? Little Blitzaria is sitting and reading a book, only to get jumped by her mother out of nowhere o.O
*Gets poked on the shoulder by a Golden Hedgehog*
"Can i say something?"
"Not until you get onto paper, and not only live in my head..."
*Hedgehog sad* "Awwww"
Ok, I have dragged this on long enough...
I am already sitting on pins and needles for the next chapter, and i know the feeling of letting stories drag out because of school work... I still am writing on my Fic, but i have two written assignments i need to finish...
*Hedgehog pushes me*
"And you need to make me Reality!"
Ow... what was that for? You got secondary priority...
*Hedgehog Cries* "YOU NEVER THINK ABOUT MY FEELINGS T_T" *runs out*
Huh... Uhm...
Ill see you next time then :)
5.4 Hammers out of 6
^^
1/23/2012 c5 1thelovelylunareclipse
YAY yur back! AND WITH ANOTHER CHAPTER! srry i didn't read it sooner, a whole bunch of crap happened like a family member dying recently and me going to his funeral.
anyway, ON TO THE REVIEW
i saw tiny grammar mistakes like the wrong usage of to, too, its, it's, then and than. be careful to watch out for those small grammar mistakes. See, im making a lot of punctuation mistakes (i realize that, but im too lazy to press the shift button :3) oh and... THE DESCRIPTIONS WERE PERFECT ;) ABSOLUTELY WONDERFUL! lol the variation between long and short descriptions was awesome, yu had a good flow going :D and the humor never ends, huh? keep it up!
the storyline itself?
its getting even interesting-er :) the "spring of dreams" has somewhat been introduced, and...sophia hates rouge? i remember in the last story she was just a baby... BTW, WHAT HAPPENED TO KNUX? lol would just like to know if something happened to him :'(
Blitz's later reaction to finding out about Amy's pregnancy made me LAUGH SO HARD XD i was actually in tears because i was laughing. Blitzaria's reaction was priceless too :)
also, Shadow getting shivers... NOW i've seen everything! XD oh and, im pretty sure this'll be answered in the next chappie but im asking anyways... what does Blitzaria have up her sleave?
well im rally siked for the next chapter so PLEASE UPDATE SOON!
overall, i loved this chapter
yur side entertainment (I imagine Blitz The Hedgehog is the main entertainment XD),
-Lokita :D
1thelovelylunareclipseYAY yur back! AND WITH ANOTHER CHAPTER! srry i didn't read it sooner, a whole bunch of crap happened like a family member dying recently and me going to his funeral.
anyway, ON TO THE REVIEW
i saw tiny grammar mistakes like the wrong usage of to, too, its, it's, then and than. be careful to watch out for those small grammar mistakes. See, im making a lot of punctuation mistakes (i realize that, but im too lazy to press the shift button :3) oh and... THE DESCRIPTIONS WERE PERFECT ;) ABSOLUTELY WONDERFUL! lol the variation between long and short descriptions was awesome, yu had a good flow going :D and the humor never ends, huh? keep it up!
the storyline itself?
its getting even interesting-er :) the "spring of dreams" has somewhat been introduced, and...sophia hates rouge? i remember in the last story she was just a baby... BTW, WHAT HAPPENED TO KNUX? lol would just like to know if something happened to him :'(
Blitz's later reaction to finding out about Amy's pregnancy made me LAUGH SO HARD XD i was actually in tears because i was laughing. Blitzaria's reaction was priceless too :)
also, Shadow getting shivers... NOW i've seen everything! XD oh and, im pretty sure this'll be answered in the next chappie but im asking anyways... what does Blitzaria have up her sleave?
well im rally siked for the next chapter so PLEASE UPDATE SOON!
overall, i loved this chapter
yur side entertainment (I imagine Blitz The Hedgehog is the main entertainment XD),
-Lokita :D
1/17/2012 c5 20-Eeveelution-0
Great job, once again! :) This deserves applause! *applause echoes from the audience* Great job with the story so far! I'm new to the pairing SonAmy, but thanks to your first story, (I couldn't keep my eyes off it), I love the pairing! And nice job with you OC's! :D Blitz the Hedgehog gives me the impression she's Amy's hilarious friend, and Kiya is like a mother, and trusting sister. (Sorry the review's so long!) Keep writing! :)
20-Eeveelution-0Great job, once again! :) This deserves applause! *applause echoes from the audience* Great job with the story so far! I'm new to the pairing SonAmy, but thanks to your first story, (I couldn't keep my eyes off it), I love the pairing! And nice job with you OC's! :D Blitz the Hedgehog gives me the impression she's Amy's hilarious friend, and Kiya is like a mother, and trusting sister. (Sorry the review's so long!) Keep writing! :)
1/16/2012 c5 Rin-sama and Len-kun
*does happy dance* You updated! :D Sorry I wasn't on earler.. My mom and dad were.. texting mean things to the other, about the divorce thats gonna happen.. D'': ..
But I loved this chapter! It's the picture of perfectness! :DD Plz update soon! :D
～♪ Dani ♪～
*does happy dance* You updated! :D Sorry I wasn't on earler.. My mom and dad were.. texting mean things to the other, about the divorce thats gonna happen.. D'': ..
But I loved this chapter! It's the picture of perfectness! :DD Plz update soon! :D
～♪ Dani ♪～
1/16/2012 c5 Blitz the Hedgehog
BLITZ IS IN THE HOOUUSSEEE! :D *takes out electric guitar and starts jamming* OMG you're alive! *throws guitar off screen and hits a random cat* You know how long you've been gone for! *counts on fingers and toes* Too many days! (actually 20 days...practically 3 weeks! :o) I thought you died in a terrible ice-cream truck accident! But I'm sooo glad your alive now! :)
I'd like to thank Comrade Athelwine for thinking I'm awesome and lucky! ^.^ (Being awesome is one of my many talents; next to hot wiring cars and being able to defend myself with nothing but a carrot :3) I don't know how I got so lucky as to being able to be in such an amazing story, but I'm grateful that the magic leprechauns of the world gifted me with this opportunity. :D OMG I was dying when I said, "You little nasties!" XD That's totally a ME answer!
Moving on! Yes, it's that time of the month again! (Not that you sicko! :C) It's Teaching time with Blitz! *queue overrated music* DID YOU KNOW: Rhythm is the longest word in the English language without vowels! :o *Random stage crowd: WOW! *claps** Yes, yes. Be amazed by my genius. :3 Okay, it's time to get down to business. *Puts on welding mask and holds up blow torch*
I saw a few small grammar mistakes that disrupted my reading. *Crowd: AWH* It's okay! It's easily fixed! *Crowd: HURRAY!* (Wow, remember that joke from way back in the day? :) Good times, good times.) Ex 1: Differentiation between THEN/THAN. THEN: means something is going to happen; indicating future. Could means 'as a result of' or 'therefore'. EX: I will go to the store THEN run around like a crazy maniac. If you don't like that THEN I'll eat all the food in your refrigerator. THAN: Comparison between two subjects. EX: I like chainsaws more THAN blow torches. C: it's learning fun when it's with psycho? Also: What's so ever = whatsoever (one word please! :D) ITS/IT'S: ITS: Means belonging to or associating with something EX: While swinging, turn the sword on ITS side for an easier cut. IT'S: Contraction of "it is" or "it has" EX: IT'S not my fault that he was in the way of my swinging sword. IT'S been a bad day for him. :D If you can replace IT'S with "it is/has" then it will work in the sentence! :D
TOO/TWO/TO: TOO: in addition to something or excessively EX: Oh, no! She's coming TOO? She always wears TOO short of skirts. TWO: Uhh.. 2 :p EX: Her TWO breasts had been peeking out of her shirt due to her push-up bra. TO: location, motion in a certain direction, identifying something you're affecting, a relationship between two things, (honestly, there are a lot of things for this that I DON'T want to name :p) She went TO the mall just TO prance around in a low-cut shirt and high skirt. Her expression went from seductive TO anger when she saw me chilling near the fountain with a couple of my guy friends. Jealously over came her as she trudged over TO send me away. She approached me and whipped her hand back prepared TO hit my face. I only smirked as I dodged her hand. (Oops, no "to" in there :p). She went TO push me but I caught her off balance and used her own momentum TO flip her inTO (ugh. whatever -_-) the fountain behind me. The crowd went from silent to bursting with laughter at the sight of the soaked girl. from TWO TO (WHOA INTENSE!) four, she attempted drying herself off.
HAHA lame story but whatever! :3 Try it out!
And I beg you! PLEASE UpDaTe SoOnEr THAN before. IT'S hard TO wait for so long and I get very impatient. *mad face* :D Ha-ha! Teacher time over! You're dismissed! :)
BLITZ IS IN THE HOOUUSSEEE! :D *takes out electric guitar and starts jamming* OMG you're alive! *throws guitar off screen and hits a random cat* You know how long you've been gone for! *counts on fingers and toes* Too many days! (actually 20 days...practically 3 weeks! :o) I thought you died in a terrible ice-cream truck accident! But I'm sooo glad your alive now! :)
I'd like to thank Comrade Athelwine for thinking I'm awesome and lucky! ^.^ (Being awesome is one of my many talents; next to hot wiring cars and being able to defend myself with nothing but a carrot :3) I don't know how I got so lucky as to being able to be in such an amazing story, but I'm grateful that the magic leprechauns of the world gifted me with this opportunity. :D OMG I was dying when I said, "You little nasties!" XD That's totally a ME answer!
Moving on! Yes, it's that time of the month again! (Not that you sicko! :C) It's Teaching time with Blitz! *queue overrated music* DID YOU KNOW: Rhythm is the longest word in the English language without vowels! :o *Random stage crowd: WOW! *claps** Yes, yes. Be amazed by my genius. :3 Okay, it's time to get down to business. *Puts on welding mask and holds up blow torch*
I saw a few small grammar mistakes that disrupted my reading. *Crowd: AWH* It's okay! It's easily fixed! *Crowd: HURRAY!* (Wow, remember that joke from way back in the day? :) Good times, good times.) Ex 1: Differentiation between THEN/THAN. THEN: means something is going to happen; indicating future. Could means 'as a result of' or 'therefore'. EX: I will go to the store THEN run around like a crazy maniac. If you don't like that THEN I'll eat all the food in your refrigerator. THAN: Comparison between two subjects. EX: I like chainsaws more THAN blow torches. C: it's learning fun when it's with psycho? Also: What's so ever = whatsoever (one word please! :D) ITS/IT'S: ITS: Means belonging to or associating with something EX: While swinging, turn the sword on ITS side for an easier cut. IT'S: Contraction of "it is" or "it has" EX: IT'S not my fault that he was in the way of my swinging sword. IT'S been a bad day for him. :D If you can replace IT'S with "it is/has" then it will work in the sentence! :D
TOO/TWO/TO: TOO: in addition to something or excessively EX: Oh, no! She's coming TOO? She always wears TOO short of skirts. TWO: Uhh.. 2 :p EX: Her TWO breasts had been peeking out of her shirt due to her push-up bra. TO: location, motion in a certain direction, identifying something you're affecting, a relationship between two things, (honestly, there are a lot of things for this that I DON'T want to name :p) She went TO the mall just TO prance around in a low-cut shirt and high skirt. Her expression went from seductive TO anger when she saw me chilling near the fountain with a couple of my guy friends. Jealously over came her as she trudged over TO send me away. She approached me and whipped her hand back prepared TO hit my face. I only smirked as I dodged her hand. (Oops, no "to" in there :p). She went TO push me but I caught her off balance and used her own momentum TO flip her inTO (ugh. whatever -_-) the fountain behind me. The crowd went from silent to bursting with laughter at the sight of the soaked girl. from TWO TO (WHOA INTENSE!) four, she attempted drying herself off.
HAHA lame story but whatever! :3 Try it out!
And I beg you! PLEASE UpDaTe SoOnEr THAN before. IT'S hard TO wait for so long and I get very impatient. *mad face* :D Ha-ha! Teacher time over! You're dismissed! :)