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for The chronicles of Fern Spiro

6/25/2012 c3 smh
I'm only reading this if it gets better
6/25/2012 c2 this is terrible
6/25/2012 c1 ugh
First of all, I KNOW you got death boy from lovedoesnthurt. Terrible grammar. And the children of demeter don't do physical activities. Such as cartwheels. And such. How old are you? Nine right?
5/6/2012 c3 18Project 66
Hey, it's me again, if anyone hasn't done so yet, may I adopt this story? It has a lot of potential to it, so I would like to give it a shot.

With love, the Lover of Percy Jackson :D
5/5/2012 c4 Project 66
I thought it was cool! Just maybe a few punctuation errors, but nothing some readers can't figure out for themselves ;)

I really want to continue with this, but I see it has been discontinued. The thing I LOVED the most about this story is, it's not a Percabeth one and it tells a story about one of the gods you don't see as often.

I don't think you should give up just because of some mean people, it was a great story plot. (if you somehow do continue it, make the girls compete for Nico! :P)
3/22/2012 c1 9a dream sequence
This isn't a good story.

Nico is OOC. He isn't exactly social in the books.

Fern and Rose's description sound a bit Sue-ish. Try to make them more realistic.

There's also lack of punctuation in certain parts of your chapters as well.

Also, why did those three demigods walk out of camp? Usually, the campers stay at camp in order to avoid being attacked by monsters.

May I ask what is the plot of this story? Because it just seems to be a boring story about three demigods who sometimes walk out of camp just for the heck of it.
3/22/2012 c2 9EgoSumERex
Trollish story. Take this down
12/20/2011 c1 12lovedoesn'thurt
My review got cut off. Sorry about that. Anyways, it's suppose to be like this:

As he got off me, he said, "Just a few Happy Meals a day!"

I don't actually know the point of this story, to be honest which is why you need to make the chapters longer.
12/20/2011 c2 lovedoesn'thurt
Hey! Yeaup! It's me! Anyway, you need to make your chapters longer. Can you put punctuation at the end of every line when a character talks? Like:

"At least I'm not a giant," I shot at him.

"Better than being a dwarf," he shot back. *You don't need the then* He smiled at me, and I smiled back.

You don't have to add a space in the beginning of a character's line. If you describe how the character says their line BEFORE they actually say it, it should go like this:

As he got off me, he said, l

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