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5/27/2019 c53 Guest
I think this story great and hope the Squeal comes out soon
4/23/2015 c1 1Musix.My.Everything1998
I Fucking Love This Storyy Please Update It :D
10/24/2014 c53 Guest
Please continue.
Its a good story,and a crossover of my 2 favourite things.
Good writing as well
If you discontinue this story, I'll be sad T-T
10/10/2014 c25 3Duncan0Idaho
My main complaint is that for this particular chapter is that it's still to close to canon. in terms of Gaara's death, in terms of Chiyo, etc.
10/7/2014 c23 Duncan0Idaho
Not much to say, your spelling and grammar could use some heavy work.
10/7/2014 c22 Duncan0Idaho
Itachi willingly giving information? Interesting. And Xion lying and meeting Danzo, I wonder if he already put her under a genjutsu to make her loyal to the village.
10/7/2014 c21 Duncan0Idaho
Good opening for the rescue the Kazekage arc.
10/7/2014 c20 Duncan0Idaho
Again why Sakura is jumping to conclusions?
10/7/2014 c19 Duncan0Idaho
Could been a bit longer, it feels like canon Hinata, she adds a new dynamic that Kakashi has to be careful of, one false move and he loses an arm or a leg.
10/7/2014 c18 Duncan0Idaho
"W-w-wait Sakura! I can explain!" Naruto said in a fearful manner.

"SHANNAROOO!" Sakura screamed she was about to punch Naruto again but Hinata quickly stopped her with her keyblade.

Why would Sakura attempt to punch him? he is not doing anything perverted, or is even harrasing her, this just comes as random.

You should also write a side story of the time period of her training with Yen Sid and overcoming her shyness.
10/7/2014 c17 Duncan0Idaho
Ventus,Roxas and Axel popping up felt like a Deus Ex Machina. I have touched DDD so I am not sure how aware is the soul of Ventus or for that matter his heart, I know Axel became Lea again along several members of Org XIII.
10/7/2014 c16 Duncan0Idaho
Why do we need to to know about their breasts sizes? And remove the bit of Xion cutting her hair, is obvious from the get to go if it isnt as long as Hinata she trims it.

"Naruto's parents Minato and Kushina, used a seal that did seal the fox demon in Naruto, but also sealed part of themselves in him as well, that way the two could eventually meet there son as a young man, and tell them about Madara and his plan to rule your world."

How the fuck Yen Sid knows about this? Only the Sandaime had a vague idea of it, and only a vague idea he did not know for certain, how does he knows about it?
10/7/2014 c15 Duncan0Idaho
Interesting chapter you should also attempt to use "" for spoken dialog and '' for thoughts.
10/7/2014 c14 Duncan0Idaho
Hiashi conceded a bit too easily the entire training trip... Hinata is both a clan heir and a unsealed byakugan, having her going in a journey is something Hiashi would frown upon, for the single reason that her eyes might get stolen, he also does not knows Xion, so at the very least he should summon her and evaluate her before giving the green light.
10/6/2014 c13 Duncan0Idaho
Nice touching moments between Naruto and Hinata is all I can say, nice way of having Hinata give Naruto much needed moral support.
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