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for Team Jinchuuriki: Village Hidden in the Darkness

7/5/2012 c1 Guest
I'm currently reading well over a hundred different stories on this site (and have already read at least 50), and this is EASILY one of my favorites. I'm still waiting for an update on this and several other stories, so I'm reading it over again- which is something I don't usually do. I'm very easily distracted and very easily bored, which is why I'm usually only able to read or watch something once before getting bored of it- that isn't so with this story. Sort of sad to see that this isn't more popular- it definitely deserves more attention.
Having said that, it definitely isn't the best WRITING I've seen- the writing is above average (in my opinion), but nothing real amazing. The story itself makes up for that though- I love it :)
6/7/2012 c11 Marie
Hey, remember you said you wanted am OC to be with Gaara? You could just use Fu! She's the Nanabi jiinchuriki from waterfall village.
6/4/2012 c11 Anons don't have names
It's kind of hard to picture Haku wanting to seesaw... But cute x3 Seriously though- why is this so freaking cool? There must be some kind of secret to it's awesomeness.

Also, why are there hardly any good fanfics where Naruto ends up with Zabuza as his sensei? I was reading a fanfic like that a few days ago (although I stopped reading it cuz it sort of sucked...) and I was completely stuck on the idea. I only ended up finding one or two actual good ones- this being one of them (I seriously can't remember if there even was a second that I found). Although I do have to say that out of the ones I found (including the dozen or so crappy ones) this was probably the only unique one.

...New chapter soon? :D
6/4/2012 c8 Anons don't have names
Why doesn't this story have more reviews? Seriously. It's hilarious! Even if it isn't supposed to be (I doubt it, but then again there are a lot of people that try to write serious stories and end up sucking so bad at it that it just becomes an amazingly funny story...). Seriously though, I can't help but break out laughing every time Gaara says something morbid- Zabuza's disturbedness (that's totally not a word...) because of Gaara and Naruto is hilarious, same goes for the old man who seems to think absolutely nothing of the fact that the two six year olds traveling with him are complete psychopaths who LOVE to kill and eat people.

I was so freaking disappointed when I looked and saw that there were only two chapters left to read before I had to stop and wait for the next chapter x_X This wait will kill me. Get a new chapter up soon pleeeaaase . In the mean time... I'm gonna go read 10 and 11.

BTW - I read the note on chapter 9 and I tried searching that person but I couldn't find him/her or the story OR where the original idiot's guide to be a flamer (or whatever it's called) is. You got a link or something?
5/26/2012 c6 1Xuan Tian Shang Ti
Love the story
5/26/2012 c11 puma1sunfire
Interesting story so far. I am looking forward to future updates.
5/6/2012 c11 7Minato4Yellowflash
I LOVED THIS STORY! I loved shadowfox's stories, too, but I also love yours! I started to read your story because shadowfox San recomended you, so here I am! I really loved this. I love Garra and Naruto together, and I wonder, who will be the 3rd jinchuriki to make up the team? (I'm guessing that it'll be Fu-chan.) Anyway, I also like zabuza too, and your style of writing, I love it (along with show fox). I can't wait for the next update!

Ps.If u have spare time, would u try out my stories? I don't know if you'll like them (I'm sure your a veteran and I'm just an amateur, I recently started, anyway. But reviews would be great, senpai! (no offense) and please answer my poll, too.
4/26/2012 c11 Silvermane1
4/25/2012 c11 TigrezzTail
While short, your fight was done. Not sure it was the best idea of Zabuza to spout just what his students were, but I'm guessing it has a purpose in the story. It's just too sad that they didn't get to play.
4/25/2012 c3 Hopelesslyhope
ahaha best friends!
4/25/2012 c11 Codename-ShadowFox
Nice job, WarFlorwer! Can't wait to see how much Hinata improves with Kakashi teaching her.
4/25/2012 c9 2Orange.Fanatic
I like your plot, but I feel (Highlight I feel), that your story does not as much emotions. Kinda like:

"The Hokage was worried. Jiraiya, Kakashi and Shikaku had just left to intercept Naruto. He has no idea how Naruto will react when he see them. He might freak out and think they are taking him back to the leaf when he finds Kakashi there.

The Hokage was just hoping that Jiraiya and Shikaku would be able to complete the mission. He was counting on them. Not just for the aversion of a war with Suna but for Naruto's well being. The Hokage had to think of the village's well being. Not just Naruto's."

Yes, it's descriptive and yes it mentions how he feels, but it's just emotions with no emotions of the writer.

I may not have posted much 'literary ventures' of my own but I have been reading Fanfiction long enough to identify mistakes.

Suggestions: To put yourself in the perspective of every character and think out of the box:D there is always something to can elaborate more about (But too much elaboration sounds like your reciting a script, so its about finding the right flavour! )

Onward, fellow author!

P.S I love the Nine jinchuuriki coming together plots too! Oh so adorable~ Looking forward to your other chapters:)
4/23/2012 c10 3SandNinjaBunny
I love it, Gaara and Naruto being together, update please I love your story
4/21/2012 c10 Silvermane1
4/18/2012 c10 Codename-ShadowFox
Another great chapter! Also I think I might do a follow-up on that story I showed you earlier, sooner if I get any ideas.
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