for Momo the Battle Mage12/24/2012 c1 
107Ohfortheloveofpete
It'd be funny if they visited Empryean since it's a land of technology rather than magic...
107OhfortheloveofpeteIt'd be funny if they visited Empryean since it's a land of technology rather than magic...
12/16/2012 c1 6Darkis Shadow
Did you change Lim Lim to an Elementalist to fit the story? Lim Lim is a battle mage in the game that knows Fire Pillar. I'm sure you know this already though. Nice story though
6Darkis ShadowDid you change Lim Lim to an Elementalist to fit the story? Lim Lim is a battle mage in the game that knows Fire Pillar. I'm sure you know this already though. Nice story though
4/26/2012 c1 Dzuljeta
The huge paragraphs did seem frightening at first.
But I enjoy your story so far.
The huge paragraphs did seem frightening at first.
But I enjoy your story so far.
4/19/2012 c1 40Cheyla
You have a great start so far. The only thing that I can recommend doing is perhaps start a new paragraph every time someone different starts to talk. It may just be a personal preference but I think it makes things easier to read and prevents paragraphs from becoming too long.
40CheylaYou have a great start so far. The only thing that I can recommend doing is perhaps start a new paragraph every time someone different starts to talk. It may just be a personal preference but I think it makes things easier to read and prevents paragraphs from becoming too long.
4/11/2012 c1 14Perfect Beauty
I must admit I know little to no information about your fandom, sorry. But, I think this story flows very smoothly. Good job.
14Perfect BeautyI must admit I know little to no information about your fandom, sorry. But, I think this story flows very smoothly. Good job.
4/11/2012 c1 14ChibiSoulReader
Although I have little knowledge of this fandom, The story is well written and it flowed smoothly. In other words, I liked this story and they ending was cute
[CSR]
14ChibiSoulReaderAlthough I have little knowledge of this fandom, The story is well written and it flowed smoothly. In other words, I liked this story and they ending was cute
[CSR]
4/11/2012 c1 91Akela Victoire
Hey there David! I'm here with the promised review from our little group! :D
I did enjoy this piece. I am not familiar with this fandom at all but it was a good read. I love a good fight scene and yours here wasn't bad at all!
I hope you continue for the sake of the readers in this fandom!
91Akela VictoireHey there David! I'm here with the promised review from our little group! :D
I did enjoy this piece. I am not familiar with this fandom at all but it was a good read. I love a good fight scene and yours here wasn't bad at all!
I hope you continue for the sake of the readers in this fandom!
2/15/2012 c1 Koolkatx
I think giving Lim Lim a sis is really cute~(maybe now the next time I go there she won't blast my character into oblivion! :D) Anywho, this was well written, good job. :3
I think giving Lim Lim a sis is really cute~(maybe now the next time I go there she won't blast my character into oblivion! :D) Anywho, this was well written, good job. :3