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for Behind the Veil

6/7/2012 c1 6owlhero
The fortune teller's off-center description caught my attention immediately.

Maddie's complete disbelief just sells the whole first scene.

The sudden jump from mysterious to darkness shocked me. There was no clue to it at all. Well done.

The twist was amazing using the fortune teller's abilities in a completely opposite way. The repeating of words drove him the uncertainity of the whole thing.

The tornado in the tent sped up my heart a little. I almost did want to believe it as the realization revealed itself to Maddie.

So sad, yet so human, denial of one's fate can be torture. Poor maddie.

I first found it mystifying why you used alive in the first paragraph after maddie was told. Until I realized why. Very subtle with the word choice there.

The bystander view for Maddie kept the antcipation and mystery at hand and kept me involved as well.

The morgur scene was simple short and told its part well. I always an odd sense of cold in morgue scenes. Expect for NCIS.

Maddie's confusion is paramount. I like how she never knew everything, that she still was hanging to her life. Very gripping. Her passion for justice pushing he on.

The police for me did take a little bit of the emotion away for me but it added depth to the story by letting as see it through to the end. You could have just ended at the funeral but you gave me something else.

I loved the ghost trick. Justice done beyond the living is something not done very often. Very creepy. Memories of old ghost movies come to mind. You mispelled chilly . You had it chili.

I am thinking Ghost whisperer with in the end here.

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