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2/1/2012 c1 2Bogren
Not a bad chapter. I noticed a few holes in the story though. In chapter 1 the couch was "almost too soft" and now it's a piece of crap.

Also, Aeris went to bed at 5:30. As soon as she hit the bed Leo got up to see that she was sleeping. He then proceeded to fall on the floor. When he finally got up it was 8:00. 2 hours 30 minutes on the floor?

And another thing, if her date was at 8 (which is when she said it would be) why would she not even get up until 8? If there is anything I've learned from women it's that they need to start getting ready hours ahead of time, and they do. (I mean seriously, how long can it take to get ready to go to a race track? You're spending all day with a bunch of northern red necks.)

You may have done that second part on purpose but still, you need to read things over carefully to find those annoying little mistakes.

I'm not trying to be overly critical, I'm just saying you ought to be more careful.

And that's why I give this a 3 "he stared upward, through the darkness of a skirt" out of 5. (like how i made fun of G4 there?)
2/1/2012 c2 d
very good
12/22/2011 c1 Guest
Hey, nice story! i want know what happens next with the white cat! he looks pretty suspicious o.O and lion is working with pantsman but... it looks like he's saving for something :O

Anyway, i enjoyed the chap and i hope that you update soon (if you can, of course) see ya!
12/18/2011 c1 15MadManMatt64
No offense, but this is WAY better then when you did Snowed In. That version had rather lazy writing in my opinion, but this. This clearly has love put into it. And Aeris had better get with Leo in the end, or else there will be HELL to pay.
12/17/2011 c1 2AlphaScorpio
so, is this a story where leo gets heart broken for aeris going out with some guy, or does this guy spread bad news into where things will turn for the worst

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