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3/24/2012 c1 13LuffyMarra
This was so cute. Good job.
3/9/2012 c1 44TexasDreamer01
In one respect, it's a good thing that Yami keeps troubling himself over the intagibility-issue. It's keeps him... well, moral, for lack of a better word.
12/19/2011 c1 Black Satellite
They both seem in character, to the extent of seeming to be canon. The puzzleshippiness is like the manga - the spirit worries about his lack of memories, and Yuugi comforts him. Their bond is obvious in your story. There's friendship there, devotion, and love. Whether it's romantic or not, the bond is definitly there.

The frustration the spirit feels at not having anything of his own (and therefore nothing to give to his partner) is well done. The hand passing through the decoration helps make me feel more sympathetic towards him and his situation. The line "Not a memory of his father or mother, not siblings (if he had any)" makes it worse, because it makes me realize that he doesn't even know his self in a away, because his foundations (family, home, etc) aren't known to him besides the fact that he was a pharaoh. And then "he'd become nothing more than a shadow of a man" sums up his situation nicely.

I love the suppressed scream line. It seems that most fics would have him growl there, rather than squash a scream, but the urge to scream fits his frustration better. The injustice dealt to Yuugi in the form of nightmares would be all the more frustrating, since the spirit wouldn't be able to combat them to protect Yuugi.

In the line "he paused, as though he were hesitant to say something" is Yuugi speaking, but he hasn't been referred to yet - so far, "he" has meant the spirit. Changing it to "Yuugi paused" or "the other paused" might make it a bit smoother.

Overall, this fic is lovely. It's bittersweet and seasonal at the same time, which is a rarity in all the syrupy Christmas fics out there. Just what I needed today - thank you for posting this!

-BS

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