for Without a Care11/7/2018 c3 James Birdsong
Nice story
Nice story
8/9/2014 c3 Ghost
Coole Story. But your Capter are very short. And Ranma and akane name are the only from ranma 1/2 right wrote.
Coole Story. But your Capter are very short. And Ranma and akane name are the only from ranma 1/2 right wrote.
4/11/2013 c3 Guest
this is a paragraph, not a chapter.
this is a paragraph, not a chapter.
3/15/2013 c3 
3Shadou Fireborn
Wow. I just have to say... wow. I am simply amazed at the quality of the story here. It's just really, really...
Awful.
Let's start with the summary. It's a placeholder summary that doesn't tell anyone anything about the story. It is the first thing potential readers see when they're trying to decide whether to read a story or not. Not only does yours garner absolutely no interest in your story, but you failed to use proper spelling, capitalization, or punctuation. Just off the summary alone, I can think of three reasons why I would NOT want to read your story.
Next, let's talk about the chapter length. You have a total wordcount of 965 over the entire 3 chapters of the story. When I read a story, I expect that each chapter have around 3000 words, and that's still a rather short chapter in my opinion. Your three chapters together have less than a third of the wordcount I would expect in a single chapter
Finally, the story is absolutely riddled with typoes, grammatical errors, and misspellings. In some places, it looks like spellchecker has not been your friend, and in other places it looks like you told spellchecker to ignore a word that needed to be corrected.
This story is far too short for me to evaluate your plot, so I'll leave that part of my evaluation out of this review. So far, though, I have to give a 'Good idea, needs work' to your plot, the work needed being much more detail and continuation. This isn't even a chapter's worth of material to evaluate here, so I can't really say much.
TLDR version: Fail summary, too short, riddled with spelling and grammar errrors, and needs more detail.
Please don't let this review dissuade you from writing, but please put a lot more effort into your writing if you're going to publish it here.
3Shadou FirebornWow. I just have to say... wow. I am simply amazed at the quality of the story here. It's just really, really...
Awful.
Let's start with the summary. It's a placeholder summary that doesn't tell anyone anything about the story. It is the first thing potential readers see when they're trying to decide whether to read a story or not. Not only does yours garner absolutely no interest in your story, but you failed to use proper spelling, capitalization, or punctuation. Just off the summary alone, I can think of three reasons why I would NOT want to read your story.
Next, let's talk about the chapter length. You have a total wordcount of 965 over the entire 3 chapters of the story. When I read a story, I expect that each chapter have around 3000 words, and that's still a rather short chapter in my opinion. Your three chapters together have less than a third of the wordcount I would expect in a single chapter
Finally, the story is absolutely riddled with typoes, grammatical errors, and misspellings. In some places, it looks like spellchecker has not been your friend, and in other places it looks like you told spellchecker to ignore a word that needed to be corrected.
This story is far too short for me to evaluate your plot, so I'll leave that part of my evaluation out of this review. So far, though, I have to give a 'Good idea, needs work' to your plot, the work needed being much more detail and continuation. This isn't even a chapter's worth of material to evaluate here, so I can't really say much.
TLDR version: Fail summary, too short, riddled with spelling and grammar errrors, and needs more detail.
Please don't let this review dissuade you from writing, but please put a lot more effort into your writing if you're going to publish it here.
1/24/2013 c3 4Kalladin1989
Not a bad story, but you should try adding more details as to what is happening. Also longer chapters would be nice
4Kalladin1989Not a bad story, but you should try adding more details as to what is happening. Also longer chapters would be nice
1/10/2013 c1 Guest
chapter 1
step away from spell check for a minute and read your work out loud to yourself. you will find that you have used several words incorrectly. you spelled them right yes, but in context they make no sense.
country - contrary
Nokia - Nodoka
maybe a couple others i missed, and sometimes spell check will always register a foreign name as wrong unless you tell it otherwise.
chapter 1
step away from spell check for a minute and read your work out loud to yourself. you will find that you have used several words incorrectly. you spelled them right yes, but in context they make no sense.
country - contrary
Nokia - Nodoka
maybe a couple others i missed, and sometimes spell check will always register a foreign name as wrong unless you tell it otherwise.
1/12/2013 c1 11Maximara
These chapters are WAY too short-these three chapters could be one long one with POV breaks such as
*Meanwhile, at the Time Gates*
*Azabu-Juuban section of Minato ward*
This breaks up the action within a larger chapter so you don't have what amounts to snippets chapters.
11MaximaraThese chapters are WAY too short-these three chapters could be one long one with POV breaks such as
*Meanwhile, at the Time Gates*
*Azabu-Juuban section of Minato ward*
This breaks up the action within a larger chapter so you don't have what amounts to snippets chapters.
1/11/2013 c3 3Hiryo
please go to the website
furinkan dot com
there look up how to write Ranma 1/2 cases name.
furthermore please look for a pre-reader
story needs a bit of shaping up.
however looking forward how this develops
3Hiryoplease go to the website
furinkan dot com
there look up how to write Ranma 1/2 cases name.
furthermore please look for a pre-reader
story needs a bit of shaping up.
however looking forward how this develops
1/2/2012 c2 22Skye Silverwing
It is very short. Honestly, you could have put both chapters together along with an indication of what the Senshi were up to and you would have a decent prolog. I am watching this though. It has some potential.
22Skye SilverwingIt is very short. Honestly, you could have put both chapters together along with an indication of what the Senshi were up to and you would have a decent prolog. I am watching this though. It has some potential.
12/29/2011 c2 Nevos
You really need to have a proper summary up to grab peoples attention. Also these two "chapters" are to short for even one let alone two. From what I have read you aren't really familar with how to spell some of the names from Ranma 1/2. Along with some minor spelling errors that a spellchecker can alert you to. Keep writing and if possible find some one to help you proof read your story. Be wary of reviews that praise your writings with out adding any thing constructive.
You really need to have a proper summary up to grab peoples attention. Also these two "chapters" are to short for even one let alone two. From what I have read you aren't really familar with how to spell some of the names from Ranma 1/2. Along with some minor spelling errors that a spellchecker can alert you to. Keep writing and if possible find some one to help you proof read your story. Be wary of reviews that praise your writings with out adding any thing constructive.
12/28/2011 c2 Ranmaleopard
this is really awesome i cant wait to see what happens next please continue!
this is really awesome i cant wait to see what happens next please continue!