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for Things I must NOT do in Hogwarts

9/12/2018 c1 Deku Nara
I will not ask the Bloody Barron where he stashes his rum.
I will not approach Flitwick and ask him 'how's the weather down there?'
I will not scream 'Troll in the dungons! There's a Troll in the dungons! Thought you otta know...' dramatically and fake faint every halloween.
I will not tell the Weasley Twins that Voldemort was on the back of Querrel's head after their snowball fight.
I will not tell first years that Snape is a vampire and drinks the blood of children in detentions with him.
I will not let cornish pixies out in the girls laverotory.
Nor in Filtch's office... again.
I will not use the room of requirement as my personal sex dungeon.
I will not trick the hot members of the HP cast into the RoR, that I have NOT turned into my personal sex dungeon. Again. Whoops.
I will not introduce Dumbledore to muggle sweets.
I will not introduce Dumbledore to Screamo or other muggle music.
I will not pull out my 'other wand' in class.
I will not tell first years to ask Hagrid about Fluffy.
I will not tell first years that the giant squid just wants friends and likes to be poked.
I will not introduce the Wizarding World to muggle fountain pens and claim them as my own, expensive, invention.
I will not introduce the house elves to muggle alcohol and say it's a type of juice for kids.
I will not start a LARPing club at Hogwarts.
I will not introduce the staff of Hogwarts to Kurig coffee makers.
I will not introduce prof. Trawlney to homestuck when she's drunk.
I will not introduce the wizarding world to dank memes. Ever.
I will not approach and refer Delores Umbridge as prof. Umbitch.
I will not call out the minestry on their stupidity. Publicly...
I will not introduce Peeves to hentai, nerf guns, post it notes, cherry bomb pop it's, or any muggle drug.
I will not tell first years that the initiation process is a water balloon fight with a rival house, and if they lose they have to spend a night in the forbidden forest.
8/12/2016 c1 6ALittleBitOfDrarry
Just everything about this is great
7/18/2013 c1 Yet Another Girl
If you can't declare Dramione in the Great Hall, then how about the Slytherin and/or Gryffindor commonrooms? XD
5/13/2013 c1 Midnightbloom17
I will not give Minerva catnip for Christmas.
I will not refer to Lucius as Legolas.
12/31/2011 c1 1xxyou'remykryptonitexx
OMG! u do realise ur a complete and utter legend right?
12/28/2011 c1 3Starzinmieyez
Hehe this made me laugh :3
12/28/2011 c1 3ArtemisKey
this is soooo funny! i'd say "I will not recite potter puppet pals nor a very potter musical around any character mentioned in them"
12/28/2011 c1 2RissaJay264
Hilarious! Made my day =)
12/28/2011 c1 13LoveGreenEyes001
HAHA!
12/28/2011 c1 9Kokoro no Hana
Lol, all the way through I was trying not to laugh, then I saw the Wizard of Oz one and gave up trying. HaHaHa

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