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for Cherry Pie, Bloody Red

12/11/2012 c1 Justanotehrnobody
This was really good... all the while I was reading this I never got the impression anyone was out of character, in fact, I think your Bel was great. You show really well just what kind of an impact Mammon's death had on him... and poor Novee that just happened to be there ended up paying the price for it. I also liked the way you described Lussuria and Squalo XDD they were so in character and yet completely hilarious... I can really imagine the Varia just barging in somewhere, not caring if it's closed and demanding food...
I'm definitely adding this to my favourites.
12/6/2012 c1 9LetsBeFrenemies
Wrong time. Wrong place. How sad. I think she could of been crazy too. Perfect for Bel.
Oh well
1/2/2012 c1 FaerieBlast
I liked it :) *Fav*
1/1/2012 c1 here to give you some crit
Okay, the Varia are sort of IC, I'll give you that.

But the rest of your story is not that good, lemme tell you this. You need to develop your character as well as your plot in your first chapter otherwise nobody would bother continuing your story.

If you're going to have an OC, make her freakin' interesting. I can name about 32905820397560347 fics in this fandom that have the same typical, unoriginal OCs that bore me to death, your story is no different.

What makes her special to the point where someone like Bel would fall for her at first sight? Make sure you make that prominent if you want a believable character that's not a Mary-sue.

Do not take this review as a flame, it's not my intention to hurt your feelings purposely, I'm just giving you some advice so you'll get more readers.
12/30/2011 c1 3Black-Phoenix-94
Love it! Genius story! I'm glad I subscribed to you cuz now I get emails saying when you write new stories so I make sure I check 'em out straight away :)

Anyway simply great story, I have somewhat of a sick liking for bloody stories :] the characters were once again in character, poor Bel, Mammon's death sent him mental, poor Mammon too, I remember at first I hated Fran because he was her replacement but he does look cute in that frog hat, anyway back to the story, you did it really well, even down to Bel's habit of referring to himself in third-person, dunno if you do requests or not but if you end up writing another KHR story can it please feature Rasiel? & be bloody, anyway, enjoy writing & I'll enjoy reading, Peaceout :)

~ Phoenix

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