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7/5/2012 c4 Guest
i can see why you scrapped it i had no idea where you could have gone with this not to call you a bad writer or crush your dreams ... hell no keep at it but it's like each chapter only dug you deeper and deeper into a hole lol but what was there was good _
3/11/2012 c4 2Bogren
darn
1/14/2012 c3 6DJ Sound Blast
-.- I like that you still have Leo listening to Dr. Hobo, but not that he's startng to go through with it.

Found no grammatical or structural errors, which i like seeing. (By that I mean i like seeing no errors.)

Again, though, with Aeris looking at the watch, you repeated saying the event in the same sentence.

Story is still flowing well, despite your writers block. (I hope you get over it soon.)

-LL3- =3

(I may be reviewing like this always, soo, again, sorry if it comes off rude. I'm trying to get used to it.)
1/11/2012 c2 3DELTA2FOUR
... oh hi. I thought since you left a review on my story that i would do the same.

I actually read this story at the dentist office (Thanks btw, my mouth is feeling better), But i decided to wait until i got home to leave a review because Pocket Fiction never leaves reviews even though it says it does...anyways

I'm really digging this story, especially this chapter. I was so sad at the beginning of the chapter until i learned it was just a dream then i was like 'thank god'. I'm really looking forward to the next chapter and i hope Leo doesn't get mugged when he goes to fix her necklace and watch, because that would make me sad face. But its your story at the end of the day. Thats all i have to say i guess, I'm awful with conclusions.
1/2/2012 c2 6DJ Sound Blast
I do not have nice words to say about Dr. Hobo right now. But, onto the review...

I did not find many errors. Only one grammatical error. (story). No structural errors.

However, you shouldn't repeat an event (when Leo injured his arm). A solution to that cold have been 'clutching his injured arm.' The events still transpired very smoothly.

(Sorry if I sounded too harsh. I usually don't review like this. Not used to it.)

Probably gonna review each chapter, not like this though.

-LL3- =3
1/1/2012 c1 Jax
cant wait to read more, first time i saw the title i thought this was some music viep type thing for the song, but ow i have a 48th fanfic im awaiting updates on
12/31/2011 c1 DJ Sound Blast
Not bad, just a little short. In order to have an adeqate review, I'd need to read more. Sorry if I sound condescending its no intentional.

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