FanFiction.Net
Just In
Community
Forum
V
More
for A Hollow Crown

6/7/2023 c1 deniedmachewman
Okay i Hate to nitpick but medieval Japan was like 500 to 1000 years ago
9/4/2020 c4 Guest
Drop what a joke... it looks like we have another aizen fanboy.

Azien is weak af... he is no where near that strong he is acc a about middle in power rank for captain. The only thing that makes him remotley dandrous is his intellect.

I dont care about about how strong he is because the mc should have been from what is shown invulanrble to him. Even if mc couldnt hit azien, azien wouldnt be able to scratch the mc. Then all the mc has to do is use wide range atks. Bang he wins...

I get it was to follow canon because you cant think of your own story. But it would have been nice to acc see someone not be a slave for once
5/3/2017 c8 Guest
I had just got hooked on this dame hope you re write this story
6/23/2014 c8 Guest
WHAT? PLEASE JUST REWRITE THIS STORY THEN IF UR ARENT HAPPY WITH IT :'( I thought this story was awesome from the OC's POV but once you dabbled into other characters it became disconnected. THE PLOT WAS ORIGINAL THOUGH :'( COME BACK BLEACH STORY COME BACK !
8/10/2012 c7 1EVA-Saiyajin
Sorry I took so abominably long to update. I've got a rather bad memory.

Now then, an excellent chapter, wonderful details, very well written.
An interesting idea with these games. Some intriguing and amusing interaction between the Espada, and we learn quite a bit more about this Ningen fellow and his past. Very interesting. Looks like things are starting to heat up a bit:)

Keep up the great work!
7/18/2012 c7 1KaizenUchiha
Dude, this chapter was awesome.
Also, thanks for introducing my character, i can't wait to see what you have in store for him.
-Faithful reader and friend, Kaizen.
7/8/2012 c7 4Miss Comatose
Just reread the entire story and let me say, it just gets better every time I read it. I love your writing style and your OCs are well integrated enough to appear natural to the story and not just stuck there like clashing pieces of furniture. I'm extremely excited to see the games next chapter.
I cannot wait for your next update!
4/12/2012 c6 1EVA-Saiyajin
I am SOOOO sorry I took forever to review. I lost track of it and forgot, so sorry. Excellent chapter, I'm really liking the Espada interaction, and how some of them coughUlquiorracough are slowly changing (just a little, cause he wouldn't be the Ulquiorra we all know and love if he acted like, say, a male version of Yachiru). I really do like the Espada of "King of Storms" now that I've seen more of their characters and personalities(I like the profiles too). I hope that they can have chances to truly live (And kick ass) unlike in canon. Hm, it looks like, if that fight was any indication, Kodoku isn't the only one who might be stronger/equal to Aizen. I very much appreciate you dedicating that great fight to me, it was excellent. Very well written with great details. I want to point something out, though. When Ulquiorra is questioning the other Espada about why they seek out each others' presence, you put this: "The Novena had been able to come up with an answer." I'm guessing that that was a typo, where "had been able" should have been "had not been able"?

That's all, sorry again about the lateness. Keep up the great work!
4/8/2012 c6 1KaizenUchiha
Great chapter, love the short stories. 'Twas a good idea, shows how the espada get to know each other. Keep up the good work.
3/13/2012 c6 1CrimsonA377
You did an amazing job.

The characters fit in well, the story is intriguing, and more subtle details add a layer to the story I usually don't notice in others.

Keep up the good work.
3/11/2012 c6 4Miss Comatose
That was brilliant.

Words can't even express how amazingly you wrote my character. Your writing style is beautiful and the fight scene at the end was artfully described. Well done. I cannot wait for the next chapter.

Oh, and thanks for the dedication. That was so sweet of you!
2/21/2012 c5 1EVA-Saiyajin
excellent chapter, well written and detailed, I'm liking the OC Espada. Keep up the great work!
2/19/2012 c5 3Suisho x Hirako Shinji
Um, I skimmed your other chapters, and concluded they still have the same issues as you did in Chapter 1. Sorry for this, but my lung cancer is catching up to me, and I need to rest. I probably won't get back to this. I hope my first two reviews helped though and thanks for asking me for help. It flattered me. And look on the bright side! You've got 3 more reviews technically! :)
2/19/2012 c2 Suisho x Hirako Shinji
I liked this chapter better. Nel was still pretty in-character, and it was enjoyable to read her role with your OC. Your OC's personality and story is rather interesting. I think one of the only problems I had was Grimmjow's description. I feel like he wouldn't have been so descriptive, and would've added more interjections or slang terms or informal speech, etc. Your moon concept is interesting.
2/19/2012 c1 Suisho x Hirako Shinji
First of all, Serreitei is Seireitei, Youruichi is Yoruichi, male-storm is maelstrom, miniture is miniature. There are other spelling mistakes, both those can be eliminated with a spell-check or two. Otherwise your grammar and mechanics seem mostly fine.

I think the reason why people don't read and review your fic much is first how you choose to present your story. It's a sad fact, but many readers search for a simple, easy to understand title, and one that instantly promises right off the bat a lot of action, smut, etc. While I can tell just from the summary that yours will most likely have good mechanics and insight, people like simple, fast, hard action.

Much like the author of ESPADAS REBORN, I'll list my issues with this chapter specifically. I have 3. This doesn't mean your story sucks, it's something to consider from a fellow author's viewpoint.

Your OC. I understand it's up to the author's discretion as to how their OC is, but I think it'd be easier to relate to the story if your OC was less powerful. That's not to say he can't be powerful, but the way he trumped the captains like that, and from what I've seen of the captains in the manga/anime, I just couldn't visualize a lot scenarios. Your OC's personality is interesting though.

In-character-ness. I'm glad that you wrote that Urahara could be serious if he needed to, and of Kyoraku's easy-going demeanor. I also liked the descriptions of the captains' uneasiness, especially Shinji (who, you should have figured out by now, is one of my favorite characters). Kuchiki Ginrei was well done. However, like I said to the other author, everybody has their own quirks that can sometimes be seen in speech. For example, when Urahara yelled "Retsu!", I felt that he actually would have called her "Unohana-san!" because he attaches suffixes as seen in the Turn Back the Pendulum Arc. And instead of "Kyoraku", Unohana probably would have said "Kyoraku-taicho" like she says to every captain. Nel was okay I think, since she's naturally playful.

This part isn't really an issue with me, but more with your popularity with readers. Readers get scared when they see huge chunks of text on this site. It's hard to read, automatically signals to them it may be boring descriptions, etc. Your descriptions are very nice and detailed, but I think you can afford to cut down a little bit.

Phew! This is just for the first chapter. I probably won't get to all chapters today, so please be patient.
22 Page 1 2 Next »

Twitter . Help . Sign Up . Cookies . Privacy . Terms of Service