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9/18/2013 c1 GiGitheHedgehog
Nice vignette. Love the poetic description!
6/14/2012 c1 81Kuruk
So we ended up discussing this one at length last night, but I still wanted to get a few of my thoughts down in review format.

Let me start by pointing out a few of the lines that struck me the most:

-"Some people say it's like dancing, but he's never danced, the kind of dance with two people and contact, so he can't really compare."

This just reminds me of how alone he is. I'm not sure if you've played the original Mother, but there's a scene in it where Ninten and Ana dance together. It's just a sweet and heartwarming little interaction between them, and reading about Lucas not having that opportunity reminded me of it. He has Kumatora, Duster, and Boney, of course, but he doesn't have that "special love interest" like Ninten or Ness did in Ana and Paula. The contrast made it much more striking, I think.

-"When chimeras first start appearing in the forest he freezes and nearly gets hurt, and it takes some time until Boney's presence at his side becomes a comfort and not a necessity."

I love this, if only because the image of Boney following and protecting Lucas faithfully until he can fend for himself is a great one.

-"He wasn't made for this, people's attitudes still whisper to him. He is the softer twin, and so much like his mother, and he should be growing into that role, not roaming the forest and mountains like his absent father (that Flint, he used to be so reliable, what happened to him?)."

The comparisons with Flint and Hinawa made this part really strong. Also, the inclusion of the villager's perceptions added depth to this.

-"He goes there to see the Dragos. He goes there even once they're gone."

This reminded me of the drago specimens in the Chimera Lab... Gah, why.

-"He's slow, and to go forward, instead of speed he has built momentum."

How do you do this? This is pretty much Lucas in a nutshell, Lin. The way he grows over three years to become strong and slowly but steadily becomes a hero. He isn't "hasty" like Claus, nor is he well-established in other people's opinions like Flint was. Everyone sees him as this helpless little kid - a crybaby even - until he collides with you and overcomes you just like that. Again, how do you do that? You know him so well.

-"When the masked man fights, he moves in the way Lucas feels."

No comment but... gah.

And then of course the ending. The transition from calling the "Masked Man" to calling him "Claus" in that last line gives the halt in Lucas's progress a very intense emotional impact.

I see the same pattern here that I observed in "Skin," except that you actually see the other side of that high point now. Lucas grows more and more powerful until he skids to a halt when he faces down the Masked Man. The build-up is fantastic. Really, it is.

This is a condensed version of the game, basically. And it's great. Loved the sensuality in this; it was the description that really gave this piece its kick.
1/2/2012 c1 16Kaz McDonell Miller
This was really well written. And the way it concluded struck really deeply. I love the insight into Lucas growing during his ordeal as a battler, particularly the line where it said, "Boney's presence at his side becomes a comfort and not a necessity." So well done.

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