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for Harry Evan's the Boy Who Survived:

9/26/2013 c5 6DrizzleWizzle
I like the idea of cascading levels of reality. Is Harry in a dream? A dementor hallucination? A time-turner loop? An alternate reality? Did he fall through the Veil? Is this the afterlife? It reminds me of Inception, a bit-which one of these levels is real? Is anything? Does it matter?

I wanted a bit more from each alternative. I felt like I each version was different only because Snape told Harry that they were different. The thing I like best about alternate realities is the unexpected discovery of something that's absolutely the opposite of your reality. (Ron is suddenly Draco's best friend, or Hermione and Pansy are study buddies, etc.) With Harry locked in all these rooms with Snape, the reader can't see any of the cool stuff.
8/15/2013 c1 author422
Interesting. Ron with green eyes... Sounds like a nice change, from the normal blue eyes. And I feel like shaking Ron and Cedric's shoulders, I mean come on! It's the Muggle Prime Minister! Don't they at least know that he corresponds with the Minister of Magic?
8/14/2013 c5 Lorteck
This was a very nice twist to the story. Thanks for posting.
8/14/2013 c4 Lorteck
Snape shrieking ... gad, I have to make him do that sometime. That is an awesome image!

I love stories where Snape is Harry's father.
8/14/2013 c3 Lorteck
Trewlany is his advisor... LOL.. poor Harry!
8/14/2013 c2 Lorteck
Flitwick is adorable. I like how you presented Ron here, as it is more accurate to how he behaves later in the series. He was always Jealous of Harry.
7/20/2012 c1 1Ijoan
The dialogue in your story feels stiff and unnatural in some places. It lacks variation. When one of your characters talks, their personality will be evident in their speech patterns and word choice. This means that every character will sound differently. Remember that though all dialogue must somehow progress your story or add dimension to it, it must do so naturally and flow well within the scene. Dialogue shouldn't just be an information spill nor should it be artificially used to change scenes and progress the story.
Also, you forget to use punctuation in certain places. For example:
"Ron what's up?" asked Cedric tentatively
should be:
"Ron, what's up?" asked Cedric tentatively.
"Come on Ron, don't be thick John Major is our Prime Minister," Harry laughed loudly
should be
"Come on, Ron, don't be thick John Major is our Prime Minister," Harry laughed loudly.
Add periods at the end of your sentences.
Anyway, good luck with the rest of your story.
2/8/2012 c1 4cytpotter
Very interesting spin on the Potter world! Fresh, unique ideas! I look forward to reading some more. :)
1/26/2012 c4 3LilyEvansDouble
I promised I would look at your story. In all honesty, it is not my cup of tea. I am having a very difficult time following it, and I honestly don't think I'll continue. I'm sorry.
1/22/2012 c5 6Ryanpotter
loved that last chapter, cant wait to read more. Wonder is snape had been using it?
1/20/2012 c5 28Son of Whitebeard
comment and recommend this to other people
1/9/2012 c4 2Le'Strange awesome
Whoa... Nicely done gr8 fanfic
1/8/2012 c4 7Teufel1987
I am confused ...

Did he fall through the veil or not?

Which dimension is he in?

How old is he? Is he eleven, fifteen, thirteen or older?

So far what I managed to figure out was that his name is Harry Evans and that Lily had an affair with Snape because of which Harry is Snape's son ...

Which really makes me uncomfortable ... Snape is a vindictive bitter petty man (not to mention, ugly as sin) I don't see him growing up enough for Lily to dump James and go with him ... Lily finally decided to go with James because he grew up later on in his life ... she saw that maturity ... something she did not see in her childhood friend who by the way decided to call her a racist name ... and I don't see Lily as a person to go and cheat on her husband ... also if James told Voldemort where Lily was located, then why is he dead? Also, James is the guy who fought for his wife and son ... I do not see him doing something this despicable ...

Could you please explain what is going on?

Also, how on earth did you manage to review your own story? I tried that once for fun, and it did not work.
1/8/2012 c4 6Ryanpotter
VEry good! It really explained alot. I will be reading more of your work as well. Orginality nice :)
1/8/2012 c4 28Son of Whitebeard
Put your suggestions down to see what happens next
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