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for Combining The Elements - The Power Of Gods

12/6/2014 c1 h
Good.
12/6/2014 c1 SuicuneStorm909
This story has a lot of potential, like ArcticVaporeon said. It has a really good storyline but just remember to watch your grammar and punctuation.

SuicuneStorm909
11/23/2002 c1 36tremor3258
Ready for some constructive criticism?

Your grammar needs some work. Specifically, while it's okay to use paragraphing a little odd to give super-extra emphasis to words, there are certain grammtical connotations that should be followed. Pokemorphs should be preceded by a colon, for example.

You set up a dramatic opening, but you follow it by talking about mundanity and being bored... these do not work well together. You also repeat yourself slightly and need a little work on attributing quotes...

Sorry, something about the way this story flows and is parsed really doesn't do it for me.
5/14/2002 c1 Daniel
Very good, honey. I think I know where your heading with this (umm.. floppy left lying around? o.O;;) and to all them people who say the tenses are wrong, I think thats the WAY she wanted them. Thats why those stars are there, am I right? 'Course I am, I am always right!

~Daniel
5/11/2002 c1 13Morbane
Mm, well, we might forgive you if you write more and make it of a decent length ;)

The timeline is VERY confusing. She suddenly gets the urge to search for 'Pokemorph' then later, she discusses HAVING found a Messageboard... Watch your tenses. 'I had' is not the same as 'I have had' or 'I had had'. In the first section, you switch from the pluperfect tense to the imperfect tense, suggesting that the narrative moves from a previous event to real time.

Anyway, good luck, good going...:P
5/11/2002 c1 16Lightning-Strike
Actually, that's pretty cool! It's the first time I've seen someone writing about people who go to chat rooms and discover other morphs that way...not bad at all. WILL YOU PLEASE CONTINUE! I want to find out more about Cassandra!
5/11/2002 c1 8ArcticVaporeon
Cool ^_^ For sure don't stop here! ^_^ This first bit shows that the fic has a lot of potential ^_^

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