Just In
Community
Forum
V
More
for How the World Turns

3/7/2012 c16 DramaticallyBlue
Oh my goodness! This chapter was one of those things where you go "I laughed, I cried!" and I'm not kidding!

I was close to tears with that scene on the roof! Biting my lip when Al was sobbing into Davy's shirt I was about to start sobbing too, I desperately wanted to scream at Al, "He's not gonna leave you, he loves you Al, he loves you!" but hearing somebody scream at their computer would raise some suspicians. And also, awwww Davy! He has to be the sweetest guy ever! He cares for her, he comforts her, he he... loves her! And she loves him! And I love them! Awww soooo much love!

Okay now for the part where I started laughing; when Al and Davey got back and Race went all how-dare-you to Davey, I started laughing, and then when he punched him... Okay so I know that probably really hurt, but still, it's funny. I know I sound cruel, but it was! That was such a little part of the chapter, but it was great!

Okay all of sudden this question popped into my mind: What about Jack? He wasn't in this chapter but he's been a mess lately, so you know, can't help wondering about him.

Also every time mysterygirl gives a review I read it, I find them...entertaining. Also something you should know, she beats herself every time she doesn't review for a chapter, and then she takes forever and a day writing one of those novel-like reviews. I know she hopes you like them! Okay, that was kinda off-topic but I just felt like telling you that.

Alrighty then, update soon!
3/7/2012 c16 Kraken
Good writing.

I always liked Al. She seems like a steady character. And i absolutely LUV racetrack.

This is epic. Im waiting impatiently for the next chappie.

Update soon!
3/6/2012 c16 1d2496
awwuh this chapter was really sweet. (: I love the bit about Race.
3/6/2012 c16 36woundedhearts
Awe i love Race! His strong protective side is definitely endearing. I don't blame him for taking a wack at David, under the circumstances i'm sure it was hard not to think the worst. I'm glad there were no hard feelings either. :)

Poor Al thinking that she and David could end up taking the same road Sarah and Jack had. But Dave had a point, they aren't them, and each relationship is unique. The proposal was cute, even if it was kind of a non-proposal. LOL! :)

I hope that Sarah and Jack get over their heartbreak and wake up to the truth. They are better together then apart.

Anyway, sorry to hear that your leaving Paris. I've heard that its a magical place. I hope that your next destination will be just as fun filled, and leave a lasting impression filled with wonderful memories.

As to the story Update Soon! :)
3/6/2012 c16 Ealasaid Una
good chapter. I like how the boys are protect of Al. Will Jack find out?
3/5/2012 c15 mysterygirl
HAHA! A blank review! great. alright, I'll try to finish this quick, 'kay?:

(continuation)

Alright, I gotta say, on a brighter note, I laughed at the "mother hen" thing. I could sooo imagine that. :P The littler kids are so cute! But I guess its a good thing Blink was there, or else it mightn't have ended so well otherwise.

but, woah. Blink's eye. What could have caused it? I think Jack's right about abuse. *shudder* poor guy. ALthough, I suppose we may never find out what really happened though, right? We can imagine though...

Never mind. I don't WANT to imagine. *shudder*

Aw. Al's back with her brother. I can just imagine the scene, with her rushing over. He really did need that hug. I don't think Al looked ready to cry because it's hurting her, I think its because she feels for her brother and all his stress, and for Sarah, who's her friend. She doesn't like seeing them hurt.

jack really does need rest. Although, that "relief" he felt? I don't think that was really bad. I think it was the relief of a responsibility and another thing adding to his stress being lifted of his shoulders. He's just overwhelmed.

Geez, that flashback creeps me out. *shudder* Qucikfists seems to have mental problems too...ugh. Not right. And I thought the way Spot ran Brooklyn was tough...GEEZ!

But hey...If Al knew about what could happen to her if she disagreed...what exactly did she say/disagree about? It would have had to been something big...something unjust...something that might have helped spark the murderous hatred he has for them. hm..

And who is General exactly? What happened to him so he wasn't there? hm...

I think I'll just "Hm" a bit more.

Hm...

Alright, I realize throughout my double review, I haven't really said anything about your wonderful writing. The thing is, I've run out of compliments!And theres NO way I can think of criticism! I don't really know what to say other than it was beautiful, wonderfully created plot, just, wonderful overall.

Amazing, I'm sorry about my review issues and how I STILL haven't made an account, keep writing, and UPDATE SOON!
3/5/2012 c15 mysterygirl
Oh, I'm despicable...

Noooo...

I'm terrible, evil, *glances at mirror* look at the monster I have become!

A worthless girl...who wasn't reviewed the past three chapters...NOOOO!

NO,NO, NO! I swore I wouldn't do it again! NOOOOOOOOOO...

*sniffle* I didn't mean to skip... I just... *sniffle*...got busy...

NO! OH, KILL ME NOW! I don't deserve to live...*looks longingly at knifes* better to end it now than deal with your disappointment in me...

Wait, NO! If I kill myself, I'll never know what happens to them! I'll do it once you finish the story... good plan, good plan...

I'm sorry, I'm a terrible person... my reviews aren't with reading if I can't put them u at the proper time, I guess... *sniffle*

AND I STILL HAVENT MADE AN ACOUNT! *looks down glumly* God, you must hate me...I know i do!

Okay, even if you don't read this... because I'm such a terrible person!*sniffle (again)*...I'm gonna do what I did last time I skimped out...a super long review for all five (FIVE! I MISSED FIVE!) chapters...I'm so sorry... Alright, here we go. Please forgive me! (also, make note, these are the first reactions I had to reading the chapters...even though I didn't review them...waah!)

Chapter 11-Sounds Beautiful:

Okay, first thing I noticed: They had 'fridges back then? I googled it (i know, I'm weird, :P) and on wikipedia it says they did, but it was mainly used for like industrial purposes until the domestic one in like 1913. Till then, they had ice boxes. Sooo, yeah. I know, not necessary, but little fact. Not that it matters...still beautifully written!

Anyway, I keep forgetting Sarah's actually older than Davy! I dunno why, it just always seemed like she was younger. Hm. NIce though, because in this chapter you showed how, not only did David worry about her, SHE worries about him too. I like it. Normally they just make Sarah completely helpless. You, however, have should that she isn't just sitting around letting people fuss about HER, she fusses too. :P I can sooo imagine that. I also really like how she takes the news and how, instead of just bursting with distress like the movie makes her seem she'd do, she thinks it over, uses her brain. I love how you've developed all the characters soo well where Disney failed, ESPECIALLY Sarah, since she has literally like 5 lines in the whole entire movie.

Okay, done with SArah for now. Wait, no, not yet. One last thing. I like how you made her able to interact with the other newsies, not just Jack, David and Al. I ilk that you let her make friend with the others. It is definitely not something people do, they usually just shove her out of the picture. But you wove her into the story, not just putting her off to the side. I like ow she's more involved. You write Sarah REALLY well.

Hah! okay, now I'm onto Mush. Hopeless romantic. :P Y'know how you said his eyes "twinkle with glee" whenever he see's them together? Well, I actually know a girl kinda like that. When she saw her friend hug her boyfriend goodbye at school, she always "awwwws". It's actually kinda funny, yet sweet. :P

Hm. AL and Jack. You're right, she wouldn't have ever given in easily. I think Jack really did mean his "sorry" but didn't express it completely too AL. Ya gotta mean it, and let her know you mean it. I can tell Al really hasn't accepted his apology, and now she's actually SCARED of him? I mean, I got siblings and we hit and fight each other 24/7 and I'm not scared of them. But I have great parents, and was NEVER IN MY LIFE hit by them. Which is why I get that, after her parents, she never expected her brother, the one that always protected her, to turn on her. I understand that, since she must have been afraid of her parents ( and reasonably too!) it makes sense that when he hit her like that in his frustration and anger, she was frightened him too, not really frightened of HIM exactly, more of how REACTION.

Okay, I'm not really sure that makes sense. I may not have said it clearly, but I think you get the point of what I'm saying, right? Hopefully...

alright, back to review...Mush has another girl! AHa, I LOVE Al's reaction to that. And it certainly was a way to lighten the conversation. I also like the way AL reacted to Mush's last girl. I wouda been stunned if I were Abby. ANd I can understand why its amusing. like DAvid said, while other girls react with words, Al doesn't waste time with useless chatter, she gets right to the point with her fists. I pity the other girls who, expecting an insult back, are met with a blow to the face. :P

Hah, but y'know, that thing with Abby is really coming back to them being a family. THe check with her approval first, and if she doesn't like them, or after seeing they treat her badly (AbbY) they see that a girl that rude and mean isn't worth it. :)

Okay, first thing, when I heard they guy say Davy's last name, I jumped to. I'm like, "WHo the heck is this guy? And what does he want with David?" Then I realized it was SArah's boss. What the heck! that guy sounds real rough. I bet the three of them really WOULD have marched right in there

if Sarah hadn't come right out then. I love how she first tried sugar coating it, then when that didn't work, and then gets all tough and telling them that the better not say anything and she can handle herself. hah. I guess at first she didn't want them to worry, but then realized that wasn't gonna work. :P

I like that one sort of paragraph thing where you described Al. Or more of, DAVID described Al. IT shows how much her really loves her, watches her, cares for her. It's really sweet. :)

I also like all this mentioning about the future. Y'know, I'm thinking your beginning to set the scene for something that'll happen in the future...hmmmm...

Either way, that conversation with Sarah was funny. "Mrs. Ali Jacobs" I couldn't help smiling like crazy. :P I can see the children already...

okay, wait a sec, Crutchy left? Aw...Itey and Bumlets too? hm... hold on a sec...could you simply be mentioning this to let us in on what happened in the past two years? Or...could it be that this will somehow have to do with the plot later? O_o Anways, that's a pretty depressing arrangement they have with Al, but I guess it's better then them not telling anyone. *sigh*.

Okay, hold on a sec, Jack. Why so irritated with Sarah? What'd she do? Geez, calm down man. He seems really short tempered lately. Calm down!

Okay, last thing with this review, what're they gonna do about Quickfist? They voiced my thoughts on how Spot won't just let this go, vbut what-exactly- has Jack got in mind? Whatever it is, he sounds pretty determined. And the way he kinda glanced at Al and David? Kinda makes me feel like he wants to get revenge for them being hurt. *shudder* I do NOT envy Quickfist right now.

Okay, so i got an idea. This is gonna be waaaaay to long, and as of the end of this sentence, the thingy at the top says I have exactly 3021 characters left. Plus, I'm probably gonna bore you with a supra long review at once, right? So heres what I'm gonna do. Every chapter you put up, I'm gonna review one I missed, and the one you've put up. That way, I'll eventually make up the chapters I missed, and I'm breaking it down for both of us. Alright, heres the most recent chapter:

Chapter 15-Hurting:

Alrighty, I'm gonna go down the list on my first thoughts on reading this, ok?

so first of all, poor Jack. I TOTALLY understand his situation right now. I need a vacation too. Which is one of my not-so-good excuses for not review. Sorry.

But I totally get him. He's overwhelmed, stressed; being leaders not that easy. Its freaking stressful! He needs a break, and he's trying to keep it from completely destroying him and the people he loves, but right now, he's losing the battle.

Aw, Sarah. I feel so bad for her too. And although I pity Jack, he's frustrated and keeps lashing out, and Sarah's one of the people on the receiving end right now.

I understand she's frustrated. Frankly, I think its about someone told him how he's been acting. She's confused, and hurt. And Jack doesn't knowhow to fix it. He's frustrated too, and now he's taking it out on her again. Seriously, Jack? At least try?

Then he's all like "I can't do this!". That's where it hit me most. I've been feeling like that A LOT lately. He loves her, he really does, and he knows it, but right now, he can't deal with the stress, the pressure, the lack of sleep, the frustration, the anger, the fright of something happening to those he cares about. It's too overwhelming. He doesn't want to end things, but he doesn't feel like theres anything he can do.

Sarah! aww, poor girl. She doesn't understand, she's hurt. She doesn't understand how its feeling, and trust me, from what my friend told me (after I lashed out from stress at her once) is that she didn't realize what I had been feeling. she just felt hurt.

Aw. Jack good at hurting the people he cared about. Maybe. But usually it happens from his efforts to protect them. Said friend I spoke of earlier and I had a fight a few days ago. I lashed out at her for something that totally wasn't her fault, cuz I was feeling really overwhelmed and stressed, and she felt really hurt, I didn't mean to, and I apologized and we forgave each other, but I know I had hurt her. Stress sucks.

okay, I just ranted for like, a long time about something u already knew. sorry. not helping, is it? well, know you know whats been going on inside my oh so wonderful brain of mine. :P

Okay, but either way, this has proved that you've written so well, and the plot is sooo good, I can now really relate and feel for the characters. It's beautiful! It doesn't feel like a story, it feels like...real. So, so, real. Thank you.

Wow.believe it or note, I have almost reached maximum capacity. I'm gonna have to finish this in another review okay? It'll be short, I promise. Alright, I guess, bye for now! 'Cause I'm of
3/4/2012 c15 Rachel
GREAT GREAT GREAT last few chapters! Your writing just keeps getting better and better, and I am just so impressed. Keep up the awesome work. :) :) YOU ARE WONDERFUL.
3/2/2012 c15 DramaticallyBlue
Your chapters to me are like cake, and I love cake.

Awww that was sooo sad, Jack breaking up with Sarah *tear*, poor Sarah, now she's all broken hearted.

And also when Jack had that dream *dramatic scream* oh my gosh, at first I was like "poor Magic, how cruel, and how disturbing it must have been to see that." but then it dawned on me, the person who nearly killed one of his newsies, and who hurt Al is the person Jack is up against. There Quick Fist's is, right under their noses, yet no one can find him. *Shivers* that's scary in a creepy sort of way.

Okay, update soon!
3/2/2012 c15 Ealasaid Una
Poor Jack. He loves Sarah. he said that, but not out loud. Is this put more strain on Al? At least she is eating. I love how Blink watches out for the younger boys and that he and al are good friends.
3/1/2012 c15 1d2496
This was so sad, but really really good. The memory/flashback was also cool, you should do more of them, they're really interesting. I loved this chapter!
3/1/2012 c15 27pselJacobs
oh gosh, i don;t know who to feel worse for! Jack knows that how he's acting isn't right and it's just pushing people away and he really does love sarah. But at the same time, he was being jerky to her and i totally get why she's so hurt! please please update soon!
3/1/2012 c15 26HiddenYori
so is General and Spot the same person
3/1/2012 c15 36woundedhearts
I knew it. Something more did happen, and something tells me it stems from what happened with that poor boy who was beaten. (God a baseball bat - gruesome.) That does tell you something about QF and his mentally. Sick Bastard. :(

Spot stopped the beating, hmmm...what did Spot do? Also the turf war is about Jack and QF, where will Brooklyn and Spot fit into this. Will QF go after them too if he wins? He must also have it in for Spot, but i think he may be more afraid of the Brooklyn leader then Jack. I think Hattan and Brooklyn should join forces and take him down once and for all.

Sarah - poor Sarah. What can i say, i kind of saw this coming with the way he was treating her, and the fact that he didn't seem to notice her one way or the other if he wasn't reminded to. I know he loves her, and i know that part of the problem is that he's afraid to hurt her, so he pushed her away until it was too late to do anything else. But he needs to realize that love won't be ignored, or denied and eventually, his heart will make the final decision.

Speaking of Sarah, what is going on with her boss. I have a feeling that he's sleazy besides being a major pain in the ass. (Sorry my language this morning...smiles) So in basic terms, he's not done with her yet. Now that Jack and she are no longer together, she'll be more vulnerable to his advances and his mouth. Or is Jack around? It wouldn't suprise me if he kept an an eye on her every once in awhile. After all he does still love her, and is obviously hurting just as badly over their split. Anyway, i hope she stays safe. :)

Also i don't think David would call it quits with Ali over the break up of his sister and Jack. If anything it would draw them closer, because he'll want to stay close to the roost. Sarah needs him now to be her eyes and ears and he'll definitely play his part well.

As too the spy, i'm still on the fence about who it is. I'm sure you've left a couple of clues during the last few chapters. But i'm stumped. It could go so many ways. :)

Okay i'm done! :)

As to Blink being a mother hen, i love it. I can totally see it. Even if he seems about to eager at times in the movie, he can be very maternal, caring and loving. :)

Okay now i'm done! :)
2/27/2012 c14 1d2496
I reaaaally liked all the fighting, Haha, reaaally well written. Update soon!
143 « Prev Page 1 .. 2 3 4 5 6 7 .. Last Next »

Desktop Mode . Twitter . Help . Sign Up . Cookies . Privacy . Terms of Service