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for Pokemon Mithril

5/25/2013 c1 38AnthroLover
Question: this story will have humans in the pokemon world, or it will be like the strange world of pokemon Mystery Dungeon?
2/7/2012 c2 7Nianque
I think this story just made my day. So... Bulbasaur, Drillbur, Sneasel, Cyndaquil, Zigzagoon? Treecko, Spinarak, Sandile. Not sure what the last one is.

I really like this idea. Its definitely an original concept and I can't wait for more.

So they can use all of their spells and abilities? Except the Cleric of course because he's cut off from his god.
1/11/2012 c1 151Farla
[Cerith suddenly spoke up, "wait a minute. ]

Dialogue is written as "Hello," he said or "Hello!" he said, never "Hello." He said or "Hello." he said or "Hello," He said or "Hello" he said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn't contain a speech verb, in which case it's written as "Hello." He grinned, never "Hello," he grinned or "Hello," He grinned or "Hello." he grinned. Note that something isn't a speech verb just because it's a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you're breaking up two complete sentences it's "Hi," he said. "This is it." not "Hi," he said, "this is it." or "Hi," he said "this is it." And if you're breaking up a sentence in the middle, it's "Hi. This," he said, "is it." If there's no speech verb in the break, you use a dash, like "Hi. This - " He looked around. "- is it." And the same punctuation and capitalization applies to thoughts.

And you really should try doing stuff from the paragraph beyond "Blah," he said when your story has this much dialogue, what you have right now is incredibly repetitive.

Well, this is definitely different. Most of the chapter's filler, though - the dialogue doesn't do much to show characterization and it's certainly irrelevant in plot terms, and the battle's overlong. All that's really needed is the tail end of the battle and the flubbed spell, the rest is just your standard adventurers in a dungeon.

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