
6/4/2012 c1
12LuckyDetective
Nicely written and is a nice fic to introduce fans to the Star Trek movie

Nicely written and is a nice fic to introduce fans to the Star Trek movie
1/17/2012 c1
15Aashlee Elizabeth
Ah, the difference one year can make...I agree! I've had years like the one this crew is about to have. I can relate to this.
Good first effort, writing-wise. You've got the fundamentals; you have a mind for detail. I hope that you continue to write and post stories.
My only critique is about Sulu's entry. Here I get the impression that he is another Academy student. However, the dossier on the official movie site says that Sulu is already a commissioned Starfleet officer, and I'm guessing he's been seasoned in the line of duty. While he may still be concerned about what his parents think from time to time, I don't think that it would be the first thing to come to mind. I can, however, see him break up a couple first-year cadets, but do it with an officer's authority rather than enter the fray himself.
The format worked for me. I enjoyed this. Again, I hope you write and post more!

Ah, the difference one year can make...I agree! I've had years like the one this crew is about to have. I can relate to this.
Good first effort, writing-wise. You've got the fundamentals; you have a mind for detail. I hope that you continue to write and post stories.
My only critique is about Sulu's entry. Here I get the impression that he is another Academy student. However, the dossier on the official movie site says that Sulu is already a commissioned Starfleet officer, and I'm guessing he's been seasoned in the line of duty. While he may still be concerned about what his parents think from time to time, I don't think that it would be the first thing to come to mind. I can, however, see him break up a couple first-year cadets, but do it with an officer's authority rather than enter the fray himself.
The format worked for me. I enjoyed this. Again, I hope you write and post more!
1/16/2012 c1
69Botsey
Thank you for your contribution to the world of Star Trek. Each story gave us insight into the flaws and abilities of this amazing crew. Again, thank you.
Botsey

Thank you for your contribution to the world of Star Trek. Each story gave us insight into the flaws and abilities of this amazing crew. Again, thank you.
Botsey
1/15/2012 c1
109TheGirlWhoRemembers
This is a very good first story!
Never mind that it's a tad late for New Year's, the piece works. I particularly liked the characterizations of our favourite crew.
Just a couple of formatting things:
I don't think you needed to put a label with each of the characters' names before their paragraph. Their names are in the first sentence, and it sort of detracts from the nice little character pieces you've written.
Also, you may wish to consider splitting each character's paragraph into more paragraphs. They're a little tiring to read. (I'm guilty of this too!) There may also be more dramatic impact if they were split.
Finally, this might be just me, because I'm pretty obsessed with commas, but I think it might need a few extra here and there. I don't know, it might just be me personally...
All in all, a great first story, and story in general.
~TheGirlWhoRemembers

This is a very good first story!
Never mind that it's a tad late for New Year's, the piece works. I particularly liked the characterizations of our favourite crew.
Just a couple of formatting things:
I don't think you needed to put a label with each of the characters' names before their paragraph. Their names are in the first sentence, and it sort of detracts from the nice little character pieces you've written.
Also, you may wish to consider splitting each character's paragraph into more paragraphs. They're a little tiring to read. (I'm guilty of this too!) There may also be more dramatic impact if they were split.
Finally, this might be just me, because I'm pretty obsessed with commas, but I think it might need a few extra here and there. I don't know, it might just be me personally...
All in all, a great first story, and story in general.
~TheGirlWhoRemembers