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12/13/2020 c41 2furubafeind95
This was such a delight! Thank you for posting.
7/19/2018 c41 Gillian
As the name line won't allow me to include my entire name, I"ll add it here - Gillian Silverlight
That being said, I'd like to compliment you on an excellent story. You write very well. with a consistent and well planned plot line. I enjoyed the story quite a lot.
Now for the other part... I feel you could use some work on grammar, word tense/usage, and especially punctuation. As a BtVS fan fiction writer for many years (and now a published author), I KNOW how difficult those specifics can be at times. I would also suggest a bit of research prior to the writing of a fiction; unless it is a short one, which usually do not require much research. An excellent example is that although you included bathroom breaks, etc; at no point EVER... did Jacob clean or wipe his hands prior to eating or anything else.
My father was an excellent mechanic and my first husband was a pretty good one as well. I can also rebuild a V-8 car engine for you. One thing ANY mechanic deals with, is GREASE. Ingrained in the skin, under the nails, on the clothes... The Twilight movies kept Jacob nice and clean all the time. But that is NOT real life. If you have ever read any of the Mercedes Thompson books by Patricia Briggs (Mercy is a VW mechanic in her own shop.) you'll see immediately that cleaning up, dirty, excessively short nails, and ingrained grease IS a dominant fact of life for a mechanic.
But it was an excellent story and I was impressed with the consistency, and it's length. (MY first published book was 600 pages long! The current ones of original fiction are not any shorter!) I also enjoyed the back and forth of points of view.
Keep writing and improving!
Gillian Silverlight
12/5/2017 c41 ThunderSphinx
Why would Aro have been in any danger? Wouldn't the Cullens and the entire Wolf Pack have been slaughtered without Bella's Mind Shield to protect them? Jane and Alec would have decimated them.
12/5/2017 c40 ThunderSphinx
"Creepy Cullen," lol. xD I love it. Haha. :)
9/30/2017 c41 TJ ali
Such a powerful ending! Love it love it love it you are such a good writer love your work!
6/10/2017 c1 3Sr813
When I first found this website, I was makes all the difference was the very first story I ever read on here. Years later I still remember everything about it and constantly want to reread it. Thank you for sharing this story!
9/24/2016 c35 19orchidluv
*when Jackie was pregnant with Justin* Not Kim.
8/12/2016 c41 Hmcintire
You did a great job congrats. I can't wait to read some of your other stories.
7/9/2016 c2 Guest
Love it!
1/27/2016 c41 Guest
Love it! Couldn't put it down!
10/5/2015 c41 Cheryl B
I thought this story was really AMAZING !I could not put my tablet down! I am a retired teacher and I have to admit my daughter Bella,who is now 23, got me reading the "TWILIGHT SAGA" back in 2008. I was hooked... Lol I hope you are working towards a future in writing ! YOU ARE VERY GOOD! Keep up the wonderful work!
12/24/2014 c41 maya31
i love
6/12/2014 c41 11April-Showers82
Wonderful story! I loved how you kept them all in character but you showed how if circumstances were different how much better everyone's lives would be. I loved the interactions between everyone and how you made imprinting to be a good thing and not a potential love life destroyer. Also, I think that it was the perfect length. Although the end felt kinda rushed, but happy nonetheless.
5/3/2014 c41 Guest
cmon chapter 42
4/26/2014 c41 6sweetsouthernsongbird
Love this just as much the second time around as the first!
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