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for Two Vessels

3/31/2015 c1 4Differant101
I love the suspenseful type of is a great story or mini way you wrote it is defiantly one of your many strong only problem is just you could have possibly made the main idea a little more is just a brief is the only possible problem.
9/23/2012 c1 DELETE ACCOUNT 123453
This was absolutely brilliant. I loved how you compared the love he has for his daughter to the sadness he feels that Fred is not there to share in the happiness.

Well done

Mrs B
7/26/2012 c1 thehazeleyedloser
Bill & Fred. I like this.
2/22/2012 c1 52Rayless Night
This is the kind of fic I want to unravel and sort out. There are so many interesting, interwoven tensions here: a decaying summer vs. the coolness of death; decaying flesh vs. growing pregnancy; Bill's (stated) happiness at Fleur's pregnancy vs. the anxious subtext that makes him keep repeating it, as if everyone needs to be convinced; the name Victoire being right vs. Bill not liking it anyway.

But as fun as these contrasts are, it's where you pull back the writing and just simply state facts without imagery or thoughts from Bill that the fic has the most power: "Under the ground, Fred rots." I like the brief subjectivity in "And Fred is dust now, maybe." And on a mechanical note, I like how the absence of question marks in all these rhetorical questions makes everything feel rehearsed and tired without belaboring the point.

Crit:

Final line. It feels overstated.

It seems like there could be a little more in the Bill-Victoire interaction. This has obviously been a big problem for Bill for several years, yet he seems to accept things very easily. How is he free in a way he wasn't before?
2/7/2012 c1 4Emily Mae
Gah, this was /awesome/. I love Bill and Fleur and I love realism you injected into their relationship and this piece as a whole. I've read a lot of sappy, fluffy stories about them, but I really like how organic Bill's reaction to Fleur's pregnancy, and her choice of name etc. seem. I physically shuddered at the line "Under the ground, Fred rots." Really beautifully done. :]
2/5/2012 c1 21my best enemy
this was sosososo beautiful and so full of hope, but so sad at the same time. i love bill's hesitation about the baby at first and how he then begins to love her. really really well done
1/23/2012 c1 300Inkfire
OMG, this was just beautiful. Stunningly written! =D not that it's unusual, but this one piece really caught me! I just love the style you used here - the use of "you", all the short, breathless sentences with "they", "isn't it nice, isn't it…" and all those little things. Your style really conveyed Bill's POV - it was like his very thoughts, his scattered, frenzied thoughts, trying to convince himself that he's alive and happy, that this is the right time and they are going to be fine… You used some really stunning images, the smothering heat, the decay, the death everywhere still, even where life is about to be born… You described Fleur's so beautifully, and you really pictured the family's happiness - that made the last lines of the first part all the harsher and all the more striking…

The second part was really beautiful, I loved the way you depicted Bill's relationship with his daughter, she seemed so outworldly even in her beauty, and I love the way everybody seemed completely enchanted by her, the way she really seemed to embody happiness and love, the end of the war… life winning over death… The nicknames thing was really well done, very insightful. And the end was just perfect… I really, really love how you handled Bill's grief, it was just amazing. So well written, so insightfully thought-out, so plain brilliant. I adored it, lol, I really did ;)
1/23/2012 c1 ThoseDreamsOfMine
It's my definition of short and sweet. (:

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