for That butler, on the verge of death7/22/2020 c1 Guest
Wow! This is a really great fic! Its strangely satisfying for some odd reason...haha...XD
Wow! This is a really great fic! Its strangely satisfying for some odd reason...haha...XD
11/27/2019 c1 The doctor of whom
Hello mr. Angel welcome to hello now you're going to have to watch this movie for the rest of Eternity Lays Twilight on the table
Hello mr. Angel welcome to hello now you're going to have to watch this movie for the rest of Eternity Lays Twilight on the table
2/10/2017 c1 Bells
Well done! Loved it!
Well done! Loved it!
12/10/2016 c1 Guest
I feel you XD. Dis was beautiful SO BEAUTIFUL X3
I feel you XD. Dis was beautiful SO BEAUTIFUL X3
7/29/2016 c1 Nekosan125
Simply beautiful...
And OMG! This isn't your native language!? I think you did an extraordinary job!
But, why did you make the servants forget? WHY! ;(
Plus, I am really happy because you are right! Their are almost to no stories of Sebastian getting hurt! So, I'm just really happy to have read this one.
Love it! XD
Simply beautiful...
And OMG! This isn't your native language!? I think you did an extraordinary job!
But, why did you make the servants forget? WHY! ;(
Plus, I am really happy because you are right! Their are almost to no stories of Sebastian getting hurt! So, I'm just really happy to have read this one.
Love it! XD
7/28/2016 c1 Camille
Hi! I really enjoyed reading your fic, and I know you wanted somebody to point things out to you... About a quarter of the way down, as the servants gasp when they realize Sebastian isn't human, you said "in chock" when you meant "in shock."
Also, there are a few lines where you skip punctuation after the end of a sentence of dialogue before beginning a new sentence - in some cases that works, but here it doesn't completely.
A little past halfway down, after Sebastian is strapped to the cross and put through the first wave of pain, there's a long sentence that takes up its own paragraph describing the pain ebbing away... you said "the pain subdued" when you meant "the pain subsided." The sentence could use a little tweaking otherwise but it makes sense for the context of the situation. Just sounds a little awkward!
In the paragraph where Ciel breaks free from his captor, "private parts" isn't totally necessary. You could say something like "kneed him between the legs" or something along those lines!
The ending was cute and a little bit sad! In the second-to-last sentence "man of his words" should be "man of his word." It's a weird kind of thing but that's how it is...
Sorry if I'm too persnickety! Feel free to ignore me if you don't like my critiques. Best of luck to you and your future writing!
Hi! I really enjoyed reading your fic, and I know you wanted somebody to point things out to you... About a quarter of the way down, as the servants gasp when they realize Sebastian isn't human, you said "in chock" when you meant "in shock."
Also, there are a few lines where you skip punctuation after the end of a sentence of dialogue before beginning a new sentence - in some cases that works, but here it doesn't completely.
A little past halfway down, after Sebastian is strapped to the cross and put through the first wave of pain, there's a long sentence that takes up its own paragraph describing the pain ebbing away... you said "the pain subdued" when you meant "the pain subsided." The sentence could use a little tweaking otherwise but it makes sense for the context of the situation. Just sounds a little awkward!
In the paragraph where Ciel breaks free from his captor, "private parts" isn't totally necessary. You could say something like "kneed him between the legs" or something along those lines!
The ending was cute and a little bit sad! In the second-to-last sentence "man of his words" should be "man of his word." It's a weird kind of thing but that's how it is...
Sorry if I'm too persnickety! Feel free to ignore me if you don't like my critiques. Best of luck to you and your future writing!
6/27/2016 c1 Guest
I loved it
I loved it
6/2/2016 c1 
1MinamiBaby
Oh my god. This one of the most incredible Fanfiction I ever read. I was on the edge of my seat the whole time.
1MinamiBabyOh my god. This one of the most incredible Fanfiction I ever read. I was on the edge of my seat the whole time.
5/28/2016 c1 Guest
amazing
amazing
12/20/2015 c1 HANNAH
OMFG I LOVED IT SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO SOOO SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
MUCY
OMFG I LOVED IT SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO SOOO SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
MUCY
9/30/2015 c1 Guest
That was awesome!
That was awesome!
3/27/2015 c1 Kuchiki Lena
Great fanfiction.I also like my favourite male caracters getting hurt
Great fanfiction.I also like my favourite male caracters getting hurt
3/17/2015 c1 qiaf
Nice!Perfect!The Best!
Best fanfiction ever I have read! : )
BUT
I think it would be nicer if (ONLY)those servants of phanthomhive know about sebastian but(again) anyway
THIS IS THE GREATEST FANFICTION I HAVE READS!
Nice!Perfect!The Best!
Best fanfiction ever I have read! : )
BUT
I think it would be nicer if (ONLY)those servants of phanthomhive know about sebastian but(again) anyway
THIS IS THE GREATEST FANFICTION I HAVE READS!