for The Eighteenth3/12/2012 c3 longmasher
Excellent story. Peggy sue fix it story's are usually Mary Sues going back and fixing everything in a big show. But this story is more down to earth and that makes a good read.
Excellent story. Peggy sue fix it story's are usually Mary Sues going back and fixing everything in a big show. But this story is more down to earth and that makes a good read.
2/29/2012 c1 
12The Mustachioed Cat
Fun, though you're a little hands-off with the previous lives. I'd be sorta interested in how Misato would respond to Shinji selling company secrets, for example. Description of old-Shinji living in a corner of perpetually-young-Shinji was a little hard to swallow. Reliving the body of the canon timeline over and over again in order to tweak certain things and examine their consequences also seemed a little hard to swallow. Can old-Shinji like, go to sleep, and leave young-Shinji alone and unawares?
It'd also be nice to get one of those text blocks on exactly how SEELE went about keeping their plan on track every single time.
12The Mustachioed CatFun, though you're a little hands-off with the previous lives. I'd be sorta interested in how Misato would respond to Shinji selling company secrets, for example. Description of old-Shinji living in a corner of perpetually-young-Shinji was a little hard to swallow. Reliving the body of the canon timeline over and over again in order to tweak certain things and examine their consequences also seemed a little hard to swallow. Can old-Shinji like, go to sleep, and leave young-Shinji alone and unawares?
It'd also be nice to get one of those text blocks on exactly how SEELE went about keeping their plan on track every single time.
2/25/2012 c3 1kidneysrgood
I didn't expect this fic to continue the way that it did, but I'm happy it is. Keep it up.
1kidneysrgoodI didn't expect this fic to continue the way that it did, but I'm happy it is. Keep it up.
2/25/2012 c3 Nexus the 13th
Goddamn man, your attention to detail is just amazing. The way that you know about the verse you're writing about just amazes me . Not many write including all the little intricacies that make up Eva, and the fact that you got the reason why Gendo left Shinji is something I never thought I'd see.
The only problem that I see is that you got Yui wrong, as Gendo is basically following her plan with a few tweaks. She is nowhere near as sweet as the series tries to portray her.
Goddamn man, your attention to detail is just amazing. The way that you know about the verse you're writing about just amazes me . Not many write including all the little intricacies that make up Eva, and the fact that you got the reason why Gendo left Shinji is something I never thought I'd see.
The only problem that I see is that you got Yui wrong, as Gendo is basically following her plan with a few tweaks. She is nowhere near as sweet as the series tries to portray her.
2/21/2012 c3 31KendrixTermina
Well, eventual pairings or no, no reason not to have fun with the love dodecahedron situation XD
Again, many epic moments - the "cuteness factor", the "yen-shaped-eyes", the nostalgia over the appartment...
Liked the way you handled Misato, your little thoughts on the cooking thing, Shinji's thoughts in general etc.
Liked the "He was home" moment and the SDAT-Player thing... am I seeing subtle sighns that Shinji might be getting emotionally invested there?
I like that, might give all of this more meaning/impact-on-the-reader/inner conflict/help to avoid it all going to "perfect" (which is not to say that I see any danger of that in the current writing - you had Shinji convincingly "taking control" of things without going into uber "manlyness" sterotypes or stuff (Like, demanding cash, but moderately so)), but the minimal manner in which it is starting is just about right given the backstory, I'm not telling you to rush it - Quite the opposite, you do that detached, calculating perspective very convincingly in a way that manages to be funny as hell and chilling/heartbreakingly tragic at the same time.
Looking forward for the next stuff.
I wonder what he has planned with Gendo. Offer him some deal?
whatever it will be, I think I trust you to make it awesome.
31KendrixTerminaWell, eventual pairings or no, no reason not to have fun with the love dodecahedron situation XD
Again, many epic moments - the "cuteness factor", the "yen-shaped-eyes", the nostalgia over the appartment...
Liked the way you handled Misato, your little thoughts on the cooking thing, Shinji's thoughts in general etc.
Liked the "He was home" moment and the SDAT-Player thing... am I seeing subtle sighns that Shinji might be getting emotionally invested there?
I like that, might give all of this more meaning/impact-on-the-reader/inner conflict/help to avoid it all going to "perfect" (which is not to say that I see any danger of that in the current writing - you had Shinji convincingly "taking control" of things without going into uber "manlyness" sterotypes or stuff (Like, demanding cash, but moderately so)), but the minimal manner in which it is starting is just about right given the backstory, I'm not telling you to rush it - Quite the opposite, you do that detached, calculating perspective very convincingly in a way that manages to be funny as hell and chilling/heartbreakingly tragic at the same time.
Looking forward for the next stuff.
I wonder what he has planned with Gendo. Offer him some deal?
whatever it will be, I think I trust you to make it awesome.
2/21/2012 c3 3dylanredefined
this is very good.an orginal approach and handled very well please continue
3dylanredefinedthis is very good.an orginal approach and handled very well please continue
2/14/2012 c2 1Neristhaed
Interesting thus far,looking forward to seeing how you spin this tale. Keep up the good job
1NeristhaedInteresting thus far,looking forward to seeing how you spin this tale. Keep up the good job
2/9/2012 c2 31KendrixTermina
Like it so far.
The writing is quite fluid/ amusing to read, I like all these comments about Shinji's exploits in all the time loops...
Shinji has, understandably, become delightfully psycho (that said, some of the early epidodes, as well as episode 19, show that he has the prerequisites to become such a dark, hard-boiled figure. ) - He really reminds me of Gendo, especially his younger, perpetually-smirking incarnation seen in episode 21 - A nice touch, considered that EoE etc. at times played Gendo up as "What Shinji could be like if he'd never met his friends/if his life kept sucking/if he had gone the wrong way" - and I suspect that Gendo was once very much like Shinji before the cruel grindwheels of reality made him what he is.
(That said, I'm just saying this preemptively because it happens far too often, don't overdemonize Gendo - You don't want to throw away an interesting, if deeply flawed, multidemensional character for a crackling disney villain. If you feel the desperate need for one, there's still Keel. )
31KendrixTerminaLike it so far.
The writing is quite fluid/ amusing to read, I like all these comments about Shinji's exploits in all the time loops...
Shinji has, understandably, become delightfully psycho (that said, some of the early epidodes, as well as episode 19, show that he has the prerequisites to become such a dark, hard-boiled figure. ) - He really reminds me of Gendo, especially his younger, perpetually-smirking incarnation seen in episode 21 - A nice touch, considered that EoE etc. at times played Gendo up as "What Shinji could be like if he'd never met his friends/if his life kept sucking/if he had gone the wrong way" - and I suspect that Gendo was once very much like Shinji before the cruel grindwheels of reality made him what he is.
(That said, I'm just saying this preemptively because it happens far too often, don't overdemonize Gendo - You don't want to throw away an interesting, if deeply flawed, multidemensional character for a crackling disney villain. If you feel the desperate need for one, there's still Keel. )
2/9/2012 c2 Blitzstrahl
holy crap this is actually intelligently written, i found my self saying goddammit only 2 chapters. You write more MORE i say!
holy crap this is actually intelligently written, i found my self saying goddammit only 2 chapters. You write more MORE i say!
2/5/2012 c1 shin-jim99
Brilliant and unique. Creativity you just don't see in much fanfiction. Original writing style. Some of your sentences tend to run long (old, boring english teachers would call it a "run on sentence) but it works! It's great! Gives a real sense of continuing rhythm to the writing, you're just carried along in the flow of words. And you break it up with short sentences, so it doesn't get stale and flat and bland. Really great original story and original view/perspective of Evangelion. One of the best I've seen.
Brilliant and unique. Creativity you just don't see in much fanfiction. Original writing style. Some of your sentences tend to run long (old, boring english teachers would call it a "run on sentence) but it works! It's great! Gives a real sense of continuing rhythm to the writing, you're just carried along in the flow of words. And you break it up with short sentences, so it doesn't get stale and flat and bland. Really great original story and original view/perspective of Evangelion. One of the best I've seen.