Just In
for FulFilled On Hold

3/4/2012 c7 20historiangirl
Oh god! I really think she was to kill Herry. You scare me for a second.
3/3/2012 c7 HoneyGoddess57
Oh my god poor Herry; he has recieved such a hit in the face by a girl. Hope that Atlanta's going to be alright... I hope.
2/26/2012 c6 historiangirl
Oh ho! They are in trouble. Who's know what Cronus can ask to Atlanta.

Nice chapter.
2/24/2012 c6 47HoneyGoddess57
What a cute chapter but oh-oh I feel so bad for Atlanta about being controled by Cronus. O_o
2/24/2012 c6 queen of games
Aww. That was SO sweet! Please update soon.
2/12/2012 c5 HoneyGoddess57
LOL at "They always come at the wrong time." Well this is quite the truth but in a way they are; they are usually late but who cares this chapter was quite cute (... besides the Pan and Cronus thing).
2/11/2012 c5 20historiangirl
I was so worry about Pan trying to kill Archie. Cronus helped Atlanta? Wonder what was his idea.
2/6/2012 c4 47HoneyGoddess57
Oh no, Archie; hope that someone will help him.
2/3/2012 c3 HoneyGoddess57
What a very interesting; oh no what is Cronus going to do with Archie and Atlanta I wonder... O_o
2/3/2012 c3 20historiangirl
Nice story. Poor Atlanta, that's very terrible what happen to her. I hope Archie will save her in time.
2/2/2012 c2 47HoneyGoddess57
Hmm, you still have done the ?" , thing it has to be like this; by example: "Pan what are you doing here?" I said firmly (You see; you didn't see any commas after the ") or "Why yes it would be" Pan said giving Theresa a glare; also the comma comes right before the " . You should read my latest stories to take an example so you can have less and less mistakes (You will still have some; look at me I am not perfect at writting so don't worry, your not alone). Well anyhow it looks great so far: I wonder what Pa will do to Atlanta, keep it up.
2/2/2012 c2 4Kiwi ingenuity
OMG! This is so exciting. UPDATE.
2/1/2012 c1 Kiwi ingenuity
YAY. Finally, a plain old AA story. There hasn't been one of these in AGES. YOU MUST UPDATE. This is looking awesome. :3
2/1/2012 c1 47HoneyGoddess57
This is very interesting so far but did you check your spelling mistakes and such? Hmm, so far it doesn't look like it but I'll be glad to help you with some minor things. :3

"Atlanta, you ready?" , said Archie. Now stop what do you think your mistake is but yes it's the comma right next to the ". Now this doesn't need to be put in after you place the ! or ? while the end of the sentence.

"I slowly me head yes..." well that is something you need to work with and don't rush is that you have placed "me" instead of "my"; the word "my" should be in there NOT "me" or else it won't really make sense to anyone else. Do you got it clearly? I guess so.

In "Yea" you forgot to add the "h"; in "Okay I will go get Jay" hmm you have missed a , after you placed Jay; not adding after the " and second of all you should have put "Okay I'll go get Jay," or "Okay I will get Jay,"

But hey it's just your first fanfiction it's alright if you do some mistake but I was just telling you this so you won't get anymore flaws; or less "mistakes" but the story still looks interesting so keep it up.
29 « Prev Page 1 2

Twitter . Help . Sign Up . Cookies . Privacy . Terms of Service