for Sacrificial Second Chance5/14/2016 c25 everrock
i have no idea why you have abandoned this story or even stopped writing but this story had lots of potential
i have no idea why you have abandoned this story or even stopped writing but this story had lots of potential
5/12/2016 c11 SkepsisFF
may i point out that tonks is still in SCHOOL. And in about 5th or 6th year at that. You're rushing the Remus/Tonks relationship. Remus is a man about twice her age. He should not be jealous of an 11 year old HUGGING a fifth year even if he has a silver tongue. You could have waited a bit to actually make it a bit realistic nd believable but by rushing this you ve actually just made their relationship a screwed up mess from the start. Just something i dont think you gave much thought to when u wrote this.
may i point out that tonks is still in SCHOOL. And in about 5th or 6th year at that. You're rushing the Remus/Tonks relationship. Remus is a man about twice her age. He should not be jealous of an 11 year old HUGGING a fifth year even if he has a silver tongue. You could have waited a bit to actually make it a bit realistic nd believable but by rushing this you ve actually just made their relationship a screwed up mess from the start. Just something i dont think you gave much thought to when u wrote this.
5/4/2016 c25 
1Marczeg Szar
I really like this story and now it seems its abandoned when it's getting interesting.
So Please, could someone, preferably with writing experience, adopt and continue this story?
Marczeg Szar
1Marczeg SzarI really like this story and now it seems its abandoned when it's getting interesting.
So Please, could someone, preferably with writing experience, adopt and continue this story?
Marczeg Szar
4/11/2016 c20 Ellimist01
Well I won't say I accept what happened in since chapter 18 until now, I can admit that the way you handled it out was a good one. Especially since it coincided with my complaint of Harry's actions and doing everything alone.
Well I won't say I accept what happened in since chapter 18 until now, I can admit that the way you handled it out was a good one. Especially since it coincided with my complaint of Harry's actions and doing everything alone.
4/11/2016 c19 Ellimist01
Seems like the author is trying to chase away his readers. A whole succession of events hapeneing one after another making it seem he is trying to hard to make it seem dramatic. Honestly I hate it when authors force drama and fight scenes when things could have been handled much easier. And another issue is how fast things have developed. Ignoring the fact that god had three chances where he could have told Harry about this there is also Harry's stupidity and wanting to do things alone that could have gotten his family killed. If he had told his family the truth rather than lie about 'the dream' things would have been much simpler, but as I said the author is forcing drama too hard. And as for 'the dream' I still don't know how they bought it. Seriously that version of Harry Potter probably had a fantasy about that actually happening with how much he craved killing and causing others pain and you expect anyone with sense to believe what would be his fantasy to not only change him, but to that extent? I blame the author's failing for such a bad chapter but I hope he didn't suddenly change how writes and things continue in this manner.
Seems like the author is trying to chase away his readers. A whole succession of events hapeneing one after another making it seem he is trying to hard to make it seem dramatic. Honestly I hate it when authors force drama and fight scenes when things could have been handled much easier. And another issue is how fast things have developed. Ignoring the fact that god had three chances where he could have told Harry about this there is also Harry's stupidity and wanting to do things alone that could have gotten his family killed. If he had told his family the truth rather than lie about 'the dream' things would have been much simpler, but as I said the author is forcing drama too hard. And as for 'the dream' I still don't know how they bought it. Seriously that version of Harry Potter probably had a fantasy about that actually happening with how much he craved killing and causing others pain and you expect anyone with sense to believe what would be his fantasy to not only change him, but to that extent? I blame the author's failing for such a bad chapter but I hope he didn't suddenly change how writes and things continue in this manner.
4/10/2016 c1 Ellimist01
Hmmm I'm impressed. It's the first time I've seen the the 7th year final confrontation between Harry and Tom end in this manner. Lol J.K.R's ended it with stupid wandlore, but this which shows a Harry not strong enough to beat Voldemort but does so by tricking him actually impressed me. Though I must say unless you change Ron's character there is no way I'd want to see him end up with Hermione. Nothing against Ron but Hermione could do a whole lot better than a guy who is constantly jealous of others and would abandon his friends when they were searching for Horcruxes because his best friend in number one in Riddle's shit list. I have nothing against Ron and nobody is perfect but like I said, Hermione can do a whole lot better than him.
Hmmm I'm impressed. It's the first time I've seen the the 7th year final confrontation between Harry and Tom end in this manner. Lol J.K.R's ended it with stupid wandlore, but this which shows a Harry not strong enough to beat Voldemort but does so by tricking him actually impressed me. Though I must say unless you change Ron's character there is no way I'd want to see him end up with Hermione. Nothing against Ron but Hermione could do a whole lot better than a guy who is constantly jealous of others and would abandon his friends when they were searching for Horcruxes because his best friend in number one in Riddle's shit list. I have nothing against Ron and nobody is perfect but like I said, Hermione can do a whole lot better than him.
4/4/2016 c25 kc black
Fleur iris Daphne and Alice
Fleur iris Daphne and Alice
3/28/2016 c25 anonima 314
I have just read your history(story) in one breath and I owes attorney that I find her(it) brilliant I hope sincerely that would find you the inspiration to continue her(it) màlgrés the fact that his(her,its) fact three years when you have no poster watch to excuse me hens fault but I use a translation software to send you this message of encouragement
I have just read your history(story) in one breath and I owes attorney that I find her(it) brilliant I hope sincerely that would find you the inspiration to continue her(it) màlgrés the fact that his(her,its) fact three years when you have no poster watch to excuse me hens fault but I use a translation software to send you this message of encouragement
3/10/2016 c4 Tony McNucklz
Personally I can't read stories where major decisions are made by polls and review suggestions. it just smacks of sloppy writing and lack of forethought for your story, and I have never read a story with no plan that didn't go completely cross-eyed eventually. I'll check your other work, but I can't keep going with this one.
Personally I can't read stories where major decisions are made by polls and review suggestions. it just smacks of sloppy writing and lack of forethought for your story, and I have never read a story with no plan that didn't go completely cross-eyed eventually. I'll check your other work, but I can't keep going with this one.
3/6/2016 c25 Morrison512
Love the story! please continue updating, i know its been 3 years since a update but its never to late to start again XD
Love the story! please continue updating, i know its been 3 years since a update but its never to late to start again XD
2/24/2016 c24 4Hadrian von Eveschatten
For Ch. 21:
I love it that Harry's fluidity in battle movement so closely resembles Bellatrix's. Who knows, maybe it is the Black blood in him.
For Ch. 22:
"'Don't worry Blaise,' Harry called over his shoulder, 'it's for the greater good.'" That cheeky little bugger.
It's hard not to see Harry and his ladies getting busy by his second year!
For Ch. 24:
Lily is quite the taskmaster. I absolutely love depictions of Lily where she is a realist can can be right down vicious and terrifying when necessary.
For Ch. 25:
I love the scene between Harry and Alice, and hope that they got to down to more than just kissing and groping!
You weren't kidding about people being more skilled in this universe than Harry's original one. Just look at the garlic-smelling, turban freak! Here he is capable of realising fiendfyre, where as the original counterpart honestly was cannon fodder.
Ugh, this is a great story you have written. I'm saddened that you had abandoned it. Has anyone contacted you to adopt this story?
4Hadrian von EveschattenFor Ch. 21:
I love it that Harry's fluidity in battle movement so closely resembles Bellatrix's. Who knows, maybe it is the Black blood in him.
For Ch. 22:
"'Don't worry Blaise,' Harry called over his shoulder, 'it's for the greater good.'" That cheeky little bugger.
It's hard not to see Harry and his ladies getting busy by his second year!
For Ch. 24:
Lily is quite the taskmaster. I absolutely love depictions of Lily where she is a realist can can be right down vicious and terrifying when necessary.
For Ch. 25:
I love the scene between Harry and Alice, and hope that they got to down to more than just kissing and groping!
You weren't kidding about people being more skilled in this universe than Harry's original one. Just look at the garlic-smelling, turban freak! Here he is capable of realising fiendfyre, where as the original counterpart honestly was cannon fodder.
Ugh, this is a great story you have written. I'm saddened that you had abandoned it. Has anyone contacted you to adopt this story?
2/24/2016 c19 Hadrian von Eveschatten
For Ch. 13:
Hermione is such a stupid law-abiding, shrill little bitch. Harry warned her the consequences of choosing dangerous confrontation over breaking a few rules to avoid it, but the bushy-haired bint just cannot fathom not following every single rule to the letter. The naive bitch should get a taste of Malfoy's pureblood medicine to shake her unfounded and cultish faith in authority figures. Harry needs to dump her sorry ass, kick her out of the compartment, and let her get devoured by the wolves.
For Ch. 14:
I do love dramatic sorting scenes.
As for the harem, I guess it's pretty safe to include Daphne. Plot will tell whether Katie and Cho are just cute older girls for Harry to tease and flirt with.
For Ch. 15:
Gah, the HP/DG interactions are so cute!
Hopefully Minnie will soften up to the new Harry when she sees that he is an advanced student and joking nature personality is fun and not malicious anymore.
Stupid Hermione, I hope Snape calls her a know-it-all again and make her cry.
I hope Harry breaks Snape's bones in the near future. No matter what Lily supposedly did to earn his scorn (probably getting James Potter's cock for herself based on your cryptic comment), he has no right to take out his petty issues on her son.
For Ch. 16:
"'The hat was right.' Cho stated. He gave her a questioning look, before she elaborated. 'When it said that you'd do well in Slytherin, it was right. You're very talented at getting people to see things your way. It doesn't help that as you do so, you flash that charming smile of yours, distracting them.'" Has there been more flattering words?
"Once again, the hate in Cedric's eyes was shocking to him." Stop being a stupid twat Harry! How long will it be before you get it through your head that counterparts from different universes usually only harmonise in genetics?! This Cedric is clearly a rapist-in-waiting.
If one is preordained to be on the Greasy Bat's shit list, one might as well do it in style and theatrics. If I was Harry, I would record down each unfair treatment of Snape, rinse and repeat a few dozen times, gather supporting evidence from classmates, and hand in a copy of all of it to his head of house, the headmaster, and the board of governors to get that motherfucker fired for incompetence and unprofessionalism.
For Ch. 17:
Harry is so sweet caring about Daphne that much. And aww, Daphy does care!
"He has an ego the size of this castle," Snape drawled, looking bored. "I wouldn't be surprised if he had Mister Smith clap every time he wipes his as-" ROFL
For Ch. 18:
While Harry's cowardly attacker can be anyone from the large pool of his detractors at Hogwarts, the most visible one so far is Diggory, though I don't know the full motivation for his hatred. Sure his rapey nature is pissed at Cho not wanting to have anything to do with him and instead spending time with Harry, but I don't know is he is a pureblood supremacist.
For Ch. 19:
One can make a solid argument that James and Lily Potter are horrible parents because they allowed Harry to put the entire family's safety at risk. The old Harry was clearly a psychopath, the very least they could have done was to assign him a psychologist. That probably wouldn't have worked though, so they should have done the responsible thing and killed him.
For Ch. 13:
Hermione is such a stupid law-abiding, shrill little bitch. Harry warned her the consequences of choosing dangerous confrontation over breaking a few rules to avoid it, but the bushy-haired bint just cannot fathom not following every single rule to the letter. The naive bitch should get a taste of Malfoy's pureblood medicine to shake her unfounded and cultish faith in authority figures. Harry needs to dump her sorry ass, kick her out of the compartment, and let her get devoured by the wolves.
For Ch. 14:
I do love dramatic sorting scenes.
As for the harem, I guess it's pretty safe to include Daphne. Plot will tell whether Katie and Cho are just cute older girls for Harry to tease and flirt with.
For Ch. 15:
Gah, the HP/DG interactions are so cute!
Hopefully Minnie will soften up to the new Harry when she sees that he is an advanced student and joking nature personality is fun and not malicious anymore.
Stupid Hermione, I hope Snape calls her a know-it-all again and make her cry.
I hope Harry breaks Snape's bones in the near future. No matter what Lily supposedly did to earn his scorn (probably getting James Potter's cock for herself based on your cryptic comment), he has no right to take out his petty issues on her son.
For Ch. 16:
"'The hat was right.' Cho stated. He gave her a questioning look, before she elaborated. 'When it said that you'd do well in Slytherin, it was right. You're very talented at getting people to see things your way. It doesn't help that as you do so, you flash that charming smile of yours, distracting them.'" Has there been more flattering words?
"Once again, the hate in Cedric's eyes was shocking to him." Stop being a stupid twat Harry! How long will it be before you get it through your head that counterparts from different universes usually only harmonise in genetics?! This Cedric is clearly a rapist-in-waiting.
If one is preordained to be on the Greasy Bat's shit list, one might as well do it in style and theatrics. If I was Harry, I would record down each unfair treatment of Snape, rinse and repeat a few dozen times, gather supporting evidence from classmates, and hand in a copy of all of it to his head of house, the headmaster, and the board of governors to get that motherfucker fired for incompetence and unprofessionalism.
For Ch. 17:
Harry is so sweet caring about Daphne that much. And aww, Daphy does care!
"He has an ego the size of this castle," Snape drawled, looking bored. "I wouldn't be surprised if he had Mister Smith clap every time he wipes his as-" ROFL
For Ch. 18:
While Harry's cowardly attacker can be anyone from the large pool of his detractors at Hogwarts, the most visible one so far is Diggory, though I don't know the full motivation for his hatred. Sure his rapey nature is pissed at Cho not wanting to have anything to do with him and instead spending time with Harry, but I don't know is he is a pureblood supremacist.
For Ch. 19:
One can make a solid argument that James and Lily Potter are horrible parents because they allowed Harry to put the entire family's safety at risk. The old Harry was clearly a psychopath, the very least they could have done was to assign him a psychologist. That probably wouldn't have worked though, so they should have done the responsible thing and killed him.