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for Sacrificial Second Chance

7/8/2022 c5 KLKSW
The idea was good, but Harry was an adult and now he was acting like a child. He immediately reveals himself by the way he behaves completely differently and clearly does not care. The first thing he says is: I've changed, or: I'm sorry. Take it as constructive criticism, what I will write next is ok: An adult cannot suddenly act like a 13-year-old child for the entire performance. I don't know if Harry is an idiot, but he certainly wouldn't reveal himself right away, and at least he wouldn't talk to anyone for a week and only gradually show changes in behavior. I hope your writing improves over time, that will come naturally with age. I can't write from an adult's perspective either. Sorry for the criticism, I admire your writing and great ideas, but I just wanted to give you some advice on how to improve it to make it a better read.
I don't know english so well, so I am sorry for bad grammar.
6/24/2022 c25 wiebenor
This, as unfinished as it is, is a very good book and if the author is still around, I would love it if he or she would write some more of it... Truly a marvelous unfinished work...
6/15/2022 c17 Brandon Boodoo
This chapter ruined everything for me... good job fucking it up. Really shit.
4/28/2022 c25 SamonIllmantrim
I'm very sad that this story is dead. I hope it will be continued someday.
4/27/2022 c8 Samonillmantrim
I really liked this one!
4/27/2022 c5 Samonillmantrim
I really like this fanfiction. The chapter'ls feel a little short but otherwise this is amazing.
2/7/2022 c10 Axccel
How you treat girls? It’s not their fault if a girl puts out before marriage or gets seduced or whatever. They’re old enough to know better, they’re responsible for their own choices. The boys are not responsible for the girls choices to go along with it. They don’t twist peoples’ arms and make their flirtations work or something.
1/31/2022 c25 nightwing27
I'm glad I will never abonded my stories Im not a quitter like many here and if I cant finish no body will know since it will be written unile I finish it will not be posted
1/26/2022 c15 5C3nterF0ld
the WOMAN who took? is this implying that Snape wanted James this time around?
1/26/2022 c5 C3nterF0ld
honestly? I retract my statement. that quorum would've been the perfect place to reveal his dimension hopping to those that mattered. would've made things MUCH easier going forward lol
1/26/2022 c5 C3nterF0ld
the way he's just apologizing for the actions of the other him and saying he's just gonna do better going forward feels really weird to me. I dont think saying he's not that Harry would be better but him just apologizing feels off. like a puzzle piece that doesn't quite fit right
1/17/2022 c18 Makimass
Harry who defeated a dark lord, a troll and won tri wizard tournament yet gets knocked out by a child and gets scared by a teen..lmao this harry is suddenly pathetic..
1/17/2022 c14 Makimass
first day at hogwarts and he's already making enemies...that seems like a ravenclaw thing to do..
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