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5/4/2012 c2 8Mommy Bear
Very well done, good somber tone. You really got into Kakashi's mind. Like the thoughts that go randomly in and out of his mind, his worries and concerns. You have done an excellent piece.

P.S. Loved the expired milk lol
5/4/2012 c2 Prescripto13
Well-written, HF! :)
5/3/2012 c2 42AuthorSwimmerPoet
So, it should be "material" and "expiration" instead of "exasperation" but that's all I noticed grammatically, otherwise very good.

Also I just have to say that I love the thought processes going on here, very fascinating, I think you are doing an excellent job getting into the right mindset for him. :)
2/11/2012 c1 4annoyingsister
I like how, to Kankuro, there are only two kinds of people. And how he looks like his father but he wants to be different.

I too like the chapter header.
2/9/2012 c1 42AuthorSwimmerPoet
So fun little piece, but there were some grammar issues that I will now point out cause I'm a pain like that ;)

In the first section you spelled "challenged" wrong :)

And since I don't know anything about Naruto (as you know) I'm going to say that it seems like it should be "loser" not "looser" but what do I know about it, maybe he was talking to the puppet and not insulting himself...

And then in the second to last paragraph it should be "envied"

And that's what I noticed, but I also wanted to say that I think it was a good story too, it seems like it's an effective portrayal of what could be going through his mind and I think you've portrayed and interesting perspective :)
2/9/2012 c1 15CaptainFlye
very enjoyable, and I could totally see Kankuro having this sort of conversation...but whats the deal with Gaara here? At least, it SOUNDS like it's Gaara, and like Kankuro is totally not recognizing his own brother. I think you need to make that a little clearer, honey.
2/8/2012 c1 8Mommy Bear
This story gives a good view of Kankuro. Not yet grown up, but still not a little boy. I can just see him trying to figure things out as he keeps crashing his puppet over and over while his mind is trying to piece things together. Keep going. Nice piece of work.
2/8/2012 c1 vivud
I love it, specially the first small paragraph. It was very beautiful and I'm excited to see, what's next. Keep up the good work.
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