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for Silent Hill Reminiscence: Detective Cartland

10/18/2013 c4 disisdead
I really enjoyed this story. The details, the character referances, how smoothly the story ran. Everything sounded believeable and well researched. It was such a good read!

With characters such as Eileen, Alex, Cythnia, ect, making an appearance, it made me smile.

You've also warmed me up to Douglas even more, I sympathise with him in this story. Love how you wrote him.

I hope you make more of these in the future! :-)
2/3/2013 c1 5Thomas N. Sears
Great piece. Always wanted to read a story with these two together.
9/21/2012 c4 8W.S.Ravensoul
Good ending. I enjoyed James' warning. The psychiatrist wasnt a Dr Abernathy by any chance? haha. You did a good job with this story. I hope you take on others. Perhaps Heather's life on the run from cultists? Theres tons of ideas to fill in. Keep at it. Keep writing. Good story.
Cheers
Wolf
9/21/2012 c3 W.S.Ravensoul
Centralia reference was very clever. It was also the unofficial title for the Silent Hill movie before it was released. Case files was a nice touch. Kind of makes Cartland an unofficial guardian for the missing persons of Silent Hill. I like the way you have treated his character as I believe he would have followed that sort of motivation i.e. Trying to make up for being a bad parent by excelling at what he is good at. Finding and helping the innocent. Great scene at the end. I can identify with it as I felt exactly the same when I watched that tape. Good stuff. Keep Writing.
Cheers
Wolf
9/21/2012 c2 W.S.Ravensoul
Cartland is definitely coming across a lot like a Columbo sort of character in my mind here. Enjoying all the references. The Shepherd link was a good one. It seems the Silent Hill game folk like to use it as a name dont you think? Anyway. Keep writing. Good job.
Cheers
Wolf
9/13/2012 c1 W.S.Ravensoul
Quite enjoyed the start of this story. It does a good job of fleshing out the characters. There's just one thing I would point out as a bit of constructive advice. When you read this over again yourself have a look at the phrasing of certain sentences. Most of the time it is spot on but there are examples like: "Silent Hill?" spoke the detective for the first time in the discussion. "Isn't it that resort town? The one that's now shut down?". It could read better if it were something like: The detective spoke for the first time in the discussion "Silent Hill? Wasn't that a resort town? I heard it was shut down."
Of course how you change things like that is up to you I am just giving an example. Good stuff so far. I will keep reading.
Cheers
Wolf
2/24/2012 c3 1Not at home
Thanks for the shout-out.

The story seems to be wrapping up surprisingly quickly. I hesitate to say that's a bad thing, however; I can't imagine it could get more complicated without being a full-blown AU.

There's still a lot of awkward phrasings, but none of them are bad enough to really get hung up on. I'd suggest you get a beta anyway.

One last little thing about this chapter: if it takes place in the foggy, abandoned Silent Hill, I can't really see Douglas thinking about gangs.
2/12/2012 c1 Not at home
Not bad.

Minor point - Cynthia's cameo, assuming it's just that, seems a little forced.

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