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3/7/2015 c15 1NecromanticHarbinger
Definitely loved this story. It's an interesting take on a universe I've already devoted so much time to. It's unique and original, and beautifully sculpted, and I am very sad to see it is no longer updated. Here's to hoping you continue that redraft you promised.

I too fear Haku is just a figment of his imagination - a conjuring of his subconscious. Some clues do point to this, after all. I love the usage of Yagura as a character, and the unique characterisation and representation of Mei. I do find myself wondering, however, if Danzo Kotoamatsukami'd Onoki, and that was what started it. Similarly, I wonder if Sai betrayed Anko to Kabuto on Danzo's orders, after a nice little round of re-brainwashing. And maybe even Neji, being subverted to Danzo's will just as his uncle was.

And Tsunade... I get the feeling that you're leading us on, making us think she may not be dead but she actually is. I can't see any other alternatives here.
2/27/2015 c12 NecromanticHarbinger
Yagura! YUS!

And your portrayal of the biju/jinchuriki is utterly unique and beautiful. I love it. And if I wasn't so scared of the fans turning against me, I might even take the idea for myself.
2/22/2015 c4 NecromanticHarbinger
2/19/2015 c16 2xkurakurax
soo... about this update! i wanna know what naruto will do once he gets to konoha and finds out about tsunade! i doubt she's dead, there has been no mention of sakura, either. i also think haku is a hallucination. he cant admit to her what he was told says that in his own disbelief he is unable to admit to himself konoha, his home, played a part in uzu's downfall. because he wouldnt know what to do from there. i also think haku isnt real because no one else can see her. my number one clue being the ramen stand guy and how he said he's starting with two bowls this time. there are others but that one stuck out to me. i really wanna know if i'm right or not so please update! and even if not, then that would be so much better because then this story is unpredictable and i like unpredictable! :D
11/30/2014 c3 Outsider
I have a small idea on what is going on. I trust that you'll explain everything completely in the other chapters. Good chapter-ssu!
11/30/2014 c2 Outsider
I wish I could write like you. I mean, this amount of emotion in a single chapter is astounding. What I wouldn't give to be talented like you. I love the chapter, by the way.
11/29/2014 c1 Outsider
I was sitting at the edge of my seat. I literally held my breath reading the last few sentences. This is what it is to be a good author. Kudos to you.
8/17/2014 c16 16BukkakeNoJutsu
a fascinating little tale
3/1/2014 c16 8Muusad
Just thought I'd drop by and thank you for writing something which gave me hours of enjoyment. It's not often you stumble across a story that doesn't shit all over characterization and at the same time goes off in exciting new directions.
4/5/2013 c16 Yoholic
Going to propose my reading till your redraft
3/8/2013 c16 Kingkong4life86
This is a unique twist on the naruto universe and I won't critique it till I see the revised edition. I just have two questions what's Mei's last name and when you started did you intend to make her bloodline different, ice vs boil and lava?
2/1/2013 c16 3ForcingStoriesDownYourThroat
I can tell patience, will now be needed. . .
1/31/2013 c16 templar627
It's great to know that this story isn't dead. I am looking forward to see what edits you have in store for us.
1/31/2013 c15 Liberius
While Naruto's setting has an incredible potential, it's incredibly rare that authors (canon or otherwise) actually make good use of it. You may play fast and loose with the details, but you had an incredible story here; it's a shame you'll never continue it. It was great fun to read.
9/12/2012 c15 3RememberMe-soon
I find your story very interesting. You seemed to be taking your time before having Naruto make use of the rinnegan. I find it troubling however that no one has made any note of it or the change in his appearance. Or has it not yet appeared, either way as a reader I am confused about him having it. Still, very glad he isn't spamming the use of it's abilities. He may know it's capabilities but won't know how to use it, especially considering the troubles with the seal.

Haku's kissing Naruto suddenly when he offered to have her follow him. It seems overly affectionate for the situation. If you want to make a romantic interest between the two that's fine but take it slower.

I liked the journey into Uzugakure and the introduction of Yagura still being alive is an intriguing add-in. However, the conversation at the temple was just sickening. I like the idea of Naruto facing a parallel to Sasuke in having Konoha betray his clan in some way. However, the idea of Naruto giving into vengeance(even if justified) leave a bad taste in my mouth. Wasn't he telling Ino recently that seeking this sort of things would result in more suffering? Also the nature of the man's argument was similar to Madara's in that it revered a clan as having no fault and was merely victimized. It sounds far fetched or a manipulation. They had wars with Kiri and Kumo at the very least so their hands cannot be completely clean. There is resentment held for protecting Senju at all cost but receiving no protection in return. Honoring something to "all costs" implies knowing that it will be to your own determent. You don't offer such loyalty hoping to receive the same in return. This reminds me of Hyuuga with the main and the branch families, very reminiscent of Neji's initial resentment toward Hinata.

The man seemed to mislead Naruto the moment he pulled Tsunade's role into it for being Hokage and Senju. She is just as much Uzumaki as Senju. She also seems more partial to her grandmother's abilities than Hashirama's (seen in the use of the seal on her forehead). It seems ooc for Naruto to go on the vengeance angle for Konoha's neglect for what COULD have been in his life. Those things are not only empty but unproductive. It doesn't bring the village back in any measure and only blocks out the things he does have: his friends, comrades, and goals in the living village that raised him.

I find your political mechanizations interesting though and fairly in depth. Far too few writers step out of the canon and it's a welcomed change. I hope you continue on with this story.
Happy Writing!
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