FanFiction.Net
Just In
Community
Forum
V
More
for If This Was a Movie

10/12/2013 c1 1kuroyuki051700
I really like this story. Correct me if I am wrong, but did this fanfiction take place after Mikan chose to leave the academy with Yuka and Narumi?
2/19/2012 c1 3I love you - Flower
how does mikan fell about all of this? i mean... like... has she tried to contact natsume, or something...? leaves you wanting to know more! makes you think a lot, too. i loved it! 3
2/15/2012 c1 3Golden.January
This is a great Fanfic! It described him so well. Not to mention the angst that the words bring to you, the ending words were also very true. I like how you choose the perspective of Natsume in this and giving it a angsty ending where mikan doesn't come back to him (like most fanfic's to give the fanfic a happy ending). Keep up your stories! :D
2/15/2012 c1 10Cinderpaw11
D: Poor Natsume... just as I read the 'he wouldn't be sticking around for much longer but he wished it nonetheless,' part, an ambulance drove by my house O.o It was kinda creepy.
2/15/2012 c1 20prdee
I better be the first one to review! :D

Firstly, thanks for the dedication T! (It's the first non SM76 one lol) Yes, you are my partner in crime ;)

Secondly, I love this song. The original and the cover. Both of them are fab. Though I do like the cover slightly better. Maddi Jane is so freakin’ good. Like seriously. That girl has talent. She should definitely make Rebecca Black wither in shame! (I bet she does, make her ashamed, that is. Well I hope.)

Anyways off to the real review.

Considering that this was your first actual drabble (hahha both of us wrote like so many one-shots which we thought were drabbles lmao faaaaiiiil)I say it’s actually pretty damn good. You’ve stuck to canon and I’ve always had this different sort of respect for cannon-ish stories, get what I mean? Also, you’ve captured Natsume’s emotions beautifully. I truly do believe that he is full of remorse and I’ve actually imagined him to be thinking somewhat along this line in the manga.



His fear of time, is quite understandable. Heck, I’ve even planned to write a phobia drabble based on time seeing as that’s one of the things I thought Natsume would fear. (Great minds think alike haha)

Okay, I don’t get why I was so formal in the above paragraph. That was kinda weird. So back to me 

This was so sad! Like obviously not cry me a river sad, but pretty sad nonetheless. I mean, dude Natsume is so...broken in this! Though, in my opinion he was a bit too broken, but that’s okay I guess. I get where he’s coming from. Poor poor Natsumee. Why did you do this to him! Hhaha jokes ra.

You wanted me to concrit this, but really this was beautifully written. I did spot some grammar/technical errors. Hehe, what can I say? I’m a grammar Nazi ;)

‘He hadn't turned into a robot who performed his functions and thought of nothing. Hell he wished he had! At least these thoughts wouldn't be plaguing him. He couldn't stop thinking about her,’ – Umm over here, I think you should’ve introduced one of his ‘thoughts’ before saying that they were plaguing him. Or maybe that’s just me being weird.

‘A thousand memories played in his head and he didn't try to stop them.’ – instead of ‘and’ it should be ‘but. ‘A thousand memories played in his head but he didn’t try to stop them.’

‘But she was gone now. She'd been gone for six months.’ - I think, But she was gone. Had been for six months.’ Sounds a tad bit better seeing how it’s more appropriate for the sentence structure and all.

‘He wasn't expecting to lose her like that.’ – Here, I guess ‘hadn’t’ would be more suitable as you’re talking about something which had already occurred in the past. (like that time you beta-ed my Persona fic and checked for that past perfect rule)

That’s about all the mistakes I could find. (they can hardly even be called that, I think most of them are just me being stupid and weird lol)

‘It was like something from a movie, he appreciated with dry humor. Except if this was a movie, she'd be here by now.’ – Aww epic, ending. It truly was very heartbreaking.

Okay so I think I have made this review fairly long and I have concrited it a bit. Mehh, thinking about tomorrow makes me want to cry or diee in a hole. I think I’d rather die. Crying seems so tiresome. Bah, Math. It’s going to kiiiilll mee. I’m so shit screwed hahaahha.

Anyways dude you should write some crack right now. It will be good for your brain. Want a prompt? :D (The other one I gave is waay overdue, but the same goes for me lol. Just try to finish it within the decade :P) DUDE WE NEED TO DO THE PEN BATTLE THINHGGG!

Okay I just realized that I’ve been rambling about the randomest things here which is meant for an inbox. So I’mma go freak over about tomorrow.

Ta!

P.S I loveee you! :*

Byeeee Snakeeee! (lmao dual emotions xD)

Okay I think I’ve gone insane now. So I will press the ‘submit feedback/review’ button in

3..

2..

1..

Sent.

:D

-Carolle Royale

Twitter . Help . Sign Up . Cookies . Privacy . Terms of Service