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4/28/2012 c3 1Trotha
This seems to be quite interesting so far. I'm interested to see how this character is able to work with the crew. From what I gather you intend for him to join the strawhats. If you are intending for him to create his own crew then may I suggest having him possibly recruit some of the characters that the strawhats meet on their journey such as Nojiko(Nami's sister) and possibly some of Barouge works. Also given some of your other works I'm sure you can create some realistic scenarios for the inclusion of other characters both from other universes and original.

As for Jack's inventions while I can understand the need for land transportation, but has he created anything for the water as in something akin to a jetski for personal use?

I look forward to the next chapter!
3/2/2012 c2 16Mugiwara N0 Luffy
ok so let me give my honest opinion... the premise itself sounds ok, but people dont like OCs very much, depending on the story type. this kind of story would usually involve a character from another story, and also people dont like to wait two or three chapter for the main stories characters to come in. i hope i wasnt too harsh sounding, but that is how people feel i hope it helped.
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