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for Tevak'Semis: The Pilgrimage

4/4/2012 c1 2Oslonaut
Just read through the first chapter, and I'm already loving this. My praise, however, stems not only from my obsession with Quarians, but with your clean-cut and smooth writing style. The dialogue flows so nicely, and the characters are just fantastic. I'll keep reading, and I promise a more critical review soon thereafter. Until then, keep up the good work, man!
4/1/2012 c5 12Liam R. Woods
I know I have said this before but this chapter soldifies it. You really know quarians! Throughout this entire chapter I was thinking to myself, "But...IT WAS GARM!" Honestly, I wanted to go in and pat Tevak on the back and tell him, "Hey, you made the right choice man! Please forget what most of your people are saying!" I mean, Garrus had a tough time with Garm. Now, if you can rock-and-roll with probably the best turian soldier in the galaxy, I'd really hate to see what he would have done to Tevak and his team.

Good chapter overall too. I liked a lot of the hospital ambience going on with the virus outbreak. Made it feel like an actual hospital and one on a quarian ship no less. Also, I liked how you decribed the "club" as a high school dance but with alcholic drinks. I don't think it could have been described better.
2/29/2012 c2 Liam R. Woods
The first paragraph kind of made me laugh a bit but I was glad to "see" a little more action in the backround. So far, no complaints. The dialogue is a little heavy but that just personal feelings. There's nothing wrong with a dialogue heavy story, I'm not a personnel fan of heavy dialogue but if it works with your writting style, I say go for it! No complaints and I really hope to read more!

I also see that this story got added to a community. I believe congradulations are in order! Well done DST.
2/27/2012 c2 5Stuch
Always pleased to see an OC-centric story pop up. If it wasn't three in the morning I would write you a better review but you keep writing and I'll keep reading.
2/25/2012 c1 12Liam R. Woods
First off, these are some of the coolest names for quarians I have ever seen! I applaud your knowlledge of quarians too because you really have the characteristics of them down pat. Also, I like the overall feel. Very dirty and underhanded. Perfect for an Omega setting.

With that said, I would have liked a bit more description about their surroundings. Yes, I know its the lower section of Afterlife but I would have liked a bit more description. A bit more comotion, if you will. Say like maybe a fight happening in the backround. An Aria T'Loak guard passes by. Something of that nature.

Quarians are usually an after thought in most Mass Effect OCs. It nice to see somebody who is not only using them for forerunner characters but using them well. I'm a krogan fan myself but I'm also a good story fan and it seems I have found one.

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