Just In
Community
Forum
V
More
for Masquerade in Chains

11/3/2014 c1 hornofdesolation
I favor this story being continued when you have the time. I see some good potential here.
10/1/2012 c1 Guest
I didn't think too many people were still writing for this beyblade. Glad to stumble across this. Will you continue it?
3/2/2012 c1 Nukewriter
Well, I'm a long time reader of Strata's stories, but I've never had much of anything to do with Beyblade. I think that may have been a mistake on my part, because it sounds quite complex and in depth... not to metnion, all this talk of mass destruction and world domination and causing natural disasters and such, thats definitely not the sort of stuff I'd thought to find in what I thought was a program geared towards younger children, what with the spinning tops and such. Chalk one down to stupid misconceptions, I guess. Now, I'm reading this with next to zero knowledge on Beyblade, but despite being fairly lost on most of the technical temrms, the stuff I can figure out is telling me that things are about to step off in a big way.

You know, it almost feels like the Star Wars revival, the way the Beyblading tournament's return is so hyped up, and beseiged with fans and critics and the whole nine yards, plainly, despite the bad rep of the Biovolt incident, there's still plenty of public support for the sport. Since I don't know the Canon, I have no idea who is a OC amongst the people in this chapter, if indeed anyone is at all, though I felt like Cori and Kenzie reminded me of certain other redheaded female leads you've used before in your stories, that may just be bias on my part though. Your preference for well dressed, "chic" style men and muscle shirts is definitely showing through though (especially the "cropped" hair, practically every description had someone with hair cropped short in it, or so it seemed). Makes me wonder if the real reason you upgraded their ages is so you wouldn't have to feel so guilty about drooling over them dressed up like that, eh?

I feel that the McGregor sisters and their not-quite-fully-good Bitbeasts are a red herring, not to make any puns about their hair. They and the new guy, with the apparently dreaded Black Danzer Bitbeast, feel too obvious to me to be the new villains of the story. Though perhaps that's merely me, with my preference for OC villains, showing through. Given that you seem to enjoy staying within Canon as much as possible, I'm really interested in seeing how you move on into your own version of events in this case, with the Canon in the past. And I must say, you've certainly set things up for plenty of romantic tension, hardly a person introduced, save for the old guys, doesn't seem to have a girlfriend or significant other or near standby, if not waiting in the wings. I'm handicapped because I don't know who anyone is, but I'm already looking for to some of them, especially this Hiro person.

But events are definitely building towards a head, even here in the first chapter. The return of powerful weapons, the gathering of the best and brightest for a brand new tournament, and plenty of romantic tension between now older cast members... you certainly know how to lay an engaging plot. I havent hardly any clue about whats going on, and I'm STILL intrigued to find out what's in store. If that's not an indication of the quality of your writing and storytelling, I don't know what is!

Twitter . Help . Sign Up . Cookies . Privacy . Terms of Service