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for Pale Roots

1/28/2018 c9 ARSLOTHES
Hope you update this fic again soon
5/29/2013 c9 Guest
challenge: Naruto is on the run from every shinobi villages since he the male that can use chakra
5/26/2013 c9 GreyMan19
Gaaahhhhhh what a damn cliffhanger to leave at! Kind of hilarious that they have everything magical except werewolves. Hope to see a update soon or through summer. Any clues as to how strong Thane is at full capacity?
5/24/2013 c9 Writefag
well well well... I think your getting better at the whole writing thing. I liked this chapter a lot. there was a great deal of mystery going on here along with a lot of Dialogue. I also like the light you shined on the characters that hardly get much in the way of attention in the original series. Also, the addition of the Werewolf as an enemy? I like it. However, if werewolves don't exist, what does that Make Kotaro Inugami then? I'll leave it to you, but now for the bad bits. I liked the story telling a great bit, but your fight scene was a little lacking in telling the whole story. You only showed Thane's perspective in that whole fight, not the Werewolf itself. Not that it wasn't bad mind you, but it was lacking. All and all, the chapter gets a 4 this time around for the reasons mentioned. keep at it, I'll be sure to keep critiquing you if I see the need.
5/23/2013 c9 1guisniperman
It's been a while. That was a good chapter. I liked how Than handled the fight. If the Werewolf isn't supposed to exist, what is it? Something that should technically be named a werewolf but isn't because of Mage stupidity?
5/22/2013 c9 4DBKai42
I had a feeling that you were going to update but didn't know how soon anyway great chapter i enjoy reading long chapters didn't expect the werewolf though and it's going to take at lot more than a beating from a werewolf to keep thane down or more or else kill him... can't wait for the next chapter
5/21/2013 c9 Anon
Let me say this first... YAY! YOU UPDATED! I is so happy! I was wondering if you ended up abandoning it, but from the looks of it, you just took a while to write it!

Now for the second part! WHAT a glorious read! I feel so happy to have read this!

But also... WTF! what kinda cliffhanger was that you asshole!? You didn't kill him did you!?OH GOD! Now I have to know!

Hurry up and update!
12/5/2012 c8 Alkhemia
I love long chapter I hope you keep updating this story it has a lot of potential
11/1/2012 c8 Writefag
Alright, after spending enough time on this, I'm going to say one thing. Good, very good.

I had at first seen that this story was getting some popularity, so I decided to check and see what crap I was fixing to get myself into. and at First,I thought this was going to be just another power fantasy.

Your first chapter, though not directly doing anything, started to smell a lot like a sue, though I had yet to see anything so I kept on.

The second Chapter as well had the smell of a sue, even closer then the first one, and it almost made me quite reading it.

However,you really started to draw away from it in the actual first chapter, making you OC rather funny and goofy. I found it nice, though the assistant teacher thing left me sighing.

The second chapter was also pretty funny, I have to comment on you in this one, though again, some of the parts were pretty anime cliche, but it didn't detract to much.

Chapter 3... oh boy, now that one was pretty funny. The funniest one I had read to date. Thankfully, your character had been shown as a pretty odd character in the first place, else I would have found a few of the things he had done to be out of character. Nice interaction by the way

Chapter 4... now this one got interesting. Instead of the usual, 'going down with the other' you kept him well above ground, and did I notice more character interaction,not this is just me, but I do so enjoy it when a character relationship is built up from conversation and not from shitty 'love at first sight' I got a little emotional from watching the moment with your OC and Negi. However, I would like to see some of your OC's History soon.

Chapter 5, skipped this one since it was an announcement, by the way? that kinda stuff sucks, glade your computer is working by the way/

Chapter 6, the most recent, and fucking Christ was it long, I haven't read chapters this long since Overmasters Fan-fic. Your best chapter to date, I will not lie. The interaction was good, the time frame was well kept, and your Plan on setting Your Oc into the story inadvertently? Well done, plus, another few hinting's at the OC's past. Your defiantly making me get more interested in him, and he doesn't seem average either.

If I was to give this fic a rating, 2 out of five for the Prologue chapters, I personally think they need to be remade.

4 out of 5 for the rest.

You might also want a beta reader, some of the tense mistakes you made at first where somewhat cringe worthy, but none the less, a good read. I'll look forward to what you try to do from here on out


A Writefag
10/28/2012 c8 Guilop
This must have been one of the longest chapters I ever read! But what a great chapter it is. I really like Thane's interactions with the other characters and how you implement him in the main plot. That he is the one who tells Eva whose blood she needs to break the curse is really well thought out. One question: did Akira forget all the strange things Thane did when she was half-eaten by the Plant? I can't wait for the next chapter!
10/27/2012 c8 2Assassin4life
Best chapter so far. It took me about 4 hours to read, I think you wrote a short novel! I love all the small little stories as to what Thane did on his Spring Break and the two new characters were very entertaining. I can't wait until you get to the Mahora Fest arc and they enter the tournament. You are hands down one of my favorite authors on the site! Keep up the good work and can't wait until the next chapter is up!
10/27/2012 c8 APeeledOnion
well gotta say, that was indeed very long and a very good chapter to boot! I found myself laughing many times during that chapter, which is good, you are a great writer and glad to see you a back writing. :)
10/26/2012 c8 4DBKai42
Good for you that your were able to save your stories. Loved this chapter man i had knew that this chapter was going to be long but i didn't expect to be this long it actually took me a good 3 hours to finish reading it and i was so into this chapter didn't realize that it took me that long.
10/26/2012 c8 Anon
New chapter! I was heart broken when you said your old computer died, but youmanaged to recover the stuff! yay! This whole chapter was your best yet! it was funny as heck! and I saw what you did thar, and I like it! Thane sure does make everything worse doesn't he? I can't wait to see what you make next!
10/4/2012 c7 2Assassin4life
I'm sorry to hear about that. I do wish you could continue writing your story is interesting! I love OC stories! But I will not force you so do what you think will make you happy. Also for future notice save the chapters on a flash drive or your e-mail so they won't disappear if this happens again.
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