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for A Family of Foxes & Snakes: Rewind!

6/17 c3 Guest
Wow, so once again someone decides to make Anko a sadistic cunt to the one person she should be able to empathize with. It's even more retarded as you had her decide to help him because she supposedly felt bad for him but then she still treats him like shit. And this is supposed to be a rewrite, welp you better delete this and start your 3rd version cause this one is a dumpster fire of nonsensical bullshit and isn't worth the time to read
6/7 c49 12SpiralAK
Glad I stuck with this story to the end. I did like how you wrote Sakura and her growth. Hinata was all right, too. I like the idea of Anko becoming family to Naruto, even if she wasn't exactly mistreated for being Orochimaru's student (if anything, she'd probably be pitied for being his victim). I don't think you used the premise to its full potential.

For example, Anko could've easily become Naruto's sensei, since she could've applied for it to protect and teach her little bro. It would've led to some interesting twists in the storyline since it just feels like stronger Naruto joins Team 7, proceeds to rehash the canon storyline. Anko and Naruto would have more time to bond, you could focus more on the snake contract storyline. It also would've stopped the bashing, or at least toned it down a ton.

Much like in The Losers, I don't like how Kakashi and Sasuke were treated. Good on you for having Kakashi be redeemed at the end, but I don't think it was necessary. You could have just made Kakashi a good sensei in the first place, or better yet, given him the chance to stand his ground when Naruto or whoever was trying to tear him a new one.

What makes bashing terrible is that the victim of bashing never gets the chance to defend themselves. They'll be belittled and victimized, their personality will be changed for the worst, but while some might enjoy it, I don't. I think it make the basher look like a bully, the bashing itself is a waste of time if it happens for the majority of the story without much change (Kakashi's an exception, as I said, but it did come too late) and it's never the reason why a story's actually good.

Let's be real, Naruto bullied Sasuke. Sasuke didn't do anything that bad before he went off the deep end, but because you wanted to bash him, you made him entitled and spoiled and hot-tempered when he wasn't in the show, and Naruto got to treat him like trash even though the guy saved his life, just because he tried to steal some jutsu. It might sting on a personal level, but they're ninja, not ordinary soldiers, it's not the worst thing in the world. But Naruto behaved like it was, and insulted Sasuke way beyond what was warranted.

All this bashing makes Naruto look like a whiny, jealous, entitled brat who isn't as mature as he thinks he is, and the only reason why Kakashi or Jiraiya or even Sasuke can't beat him in an argument is because you want it that way, instead of Naruto being the better guy. Imagine if this was an actual series and Naruto behaved this way. Wouldn't you want to write a fanfiction to knock him down a peg? Think about it.

I will say that he got called out for it, and Sakura and Hinata do try to keep him in check, but in practice, Naruto doesn't really change or think he's wrong. He never apologizes, either.

I guess I'm sounding harsh, but that's because you're an author with some actual talent. You can bash all you want, but it has diminishing returns. If you write a new Naruto story and your bashing targets have the same characterization, then it makes everything woefully predictable and repetitive.

You're better than that. Your stories are easy to read, they have good ideas and when you like a character, you treat them with a lot of respect and dignity that leads to some fun storytelling. Hope you get to write a good sequel. If there's one thing I'd want to see there, it's getting to see Anko stop harassing poor Iruka.
5/31 c17 BlazeStryker
&*(O&*(OT&(O)T that &*(&*()&) ihn his %*(&*) junk until it *(*)&*)&ing falls off like the Y&*()&*()()ing &*(&*() that &(*)&*()_(_* is.
5/26 c3 Jen
Sweet writing
Way to go Naruto
5/26 c2 Jen
This is cute
5/4 c49 ben10jamin
when will the came out.
2/24 c44 Guest
Why is Sasuke being bashed so much, he wasn't this bad in cano, but this is fanfiction. But, I'll just say this... in canon Sasuke actually cared about his team and other people, he wasn't going around demanding people's jutsu because he was an all powerful Uchiha. He was also ostracized in the village it was only his fangirls that really liked him. He also only was starting to forget about revenge until Itachi showed up and ruined it with mind raping him of his family dying over and over again.
1/31 c49 EX1NOS2k
so what about shippuden ?
i really wanna know how this story moves forward :0
1/17 c37 Dracoessa Draga
stupid uke.
1/17 c27 Dracoessa Draga
hahahahahahahaha, nice.
12/20/2021 c49 digitalastronaut
11/13/2021 c49 En
A tuff end
11/12/2021 c8 Purgatoryblaze
I don't understand the purpose of developing the relationship between Hinata and Naruto if you aren't going to put them on the same team nor do I understand why you put Naruto on team 7 since he hates his teammates and doesn't think very highly of Kakashi
10/16/2021 c21 Guest
Having a character "beating the hell out of" another isn't funny.
It's actually a very good way to make people start disliking said character.
10/16/2021 c9 Noy
Kakashi giving Naruto a hint was a great idea. I really dislike stories where Naruto seems to magically know the real meaning behind the bell test but by having Kakashi hinting at it, it makes Naruto deducing it believable.
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