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for Alternate Scene by the Lake 4

6/19 c2 PiffyEQ
I f*cking HATE Dumbledore! I really hope Fawkes abandoned him or sets his beard on fire! He is so delusional thinking it is Severus picking fights with the Marauder's.

I just hope Sev joins the wizarding world in a different country where they would actually appreciate his talent as a prodigy.
5/16 c10 Avidreader212
You were winding up to something really good here I’m kind of sad that it kind of petered out halfway through. Even though you lost your momentum and inspiration I’m happy that you at least somewhat finish the story and gave us at least enough to fill in the rest on our own. I would’ve love to see a little more just desserts to the marauders but it is what it is.
4/20 c10 Amalgum
Great concept and good story would have been happy if it had been completed at the least but still I fine read
3/27 c2 SeverusAndHermioneFan
Very good chapter! Thank you!
Loved the four Lilies. Especially the appearance of the Hufflepuff Lily lying unconscious, symbolizing that Lily is no longer a loyal friend, was a particular delight. And the Gryffindor Lily's statement that they sacrificed a Hufflepaw Lily for the greater good. Lol! Loved the Slytherin Lily, I fell in love with her, especially when she said that Lily was only a friend when it was profitable.
The Headmaster is very well shown, absolutely no wonder there was such impunity and arbitrariness in the school. After all, all the principal's thoughts were occupied with manipulation and politics, not the well-being of the students. And, of course, this was helped by the fact that he showed favoritism towards the Gryffendors, always taking their side and encouraging whatever they did. He should have been Minister of Magic, but he preferred to be a grey cardinal.
I liked the fact that they showed the Slytherins not to be 's just one of the four faculties where cunning, ambition, influence and having a point of view are valued. It's no surprise that they became death all, everyone in the school was against them, including the dean, whom they obviously came to hate. The enemy of my enemy is my friend. The ideas of purity were just a pretext for the half-breed Voldemort to recruit as many influential powerful slaves as possible. His goal was absolute power.
3/13 c10 mekareami
It was looking like it would be a great story... then the authors notes started to be as long or longer than the actual chapter. Call it finished if you like but it did not wrap up much of anything conclusively imo. Does not deserve the complete flag. you abandon it and wrote an even less satisfying epilogue than jkr. Thanks for coming up with an interesting premise. Hopefully someone will be inspired to more fully flesh it out someday
1/19 c10 3Ferm
Hah. In my mind, the wars take over in a struhggle of asoiaf proportions. Thanks for ending this, and for sharing.
1/19 c9 Ferm
I can understand why. The universe, if continued, will be sprawling and taxing. Prince's machintions about his grandson, Snape wouldn't accept direct help, I imagine. Lily will have to be trained as his protegee so she can help with the goblins. Voldemort and Slytherin will be talked to by Severus, and convinced to join goblins under Lily's banner, Dumbledore will of course pushback, and there'll be considerable complexity involved, I imagine, when the pov shifts to him and the very sympathetic war against aggressive goblins who want to change the order.
1/19 c7 Ferm
This was an amazing chapter. I thought I'd had 3 left, and the notes made me a bit sad, knowing this is the end. The imagery and the characters were wonderful. I would call Albus darker than canonbut there's just so much bad stuff he does that can be interpreted as actions of a eccentric old meddler as much as the actions of a distant, scheming warlock. I really have no issues with it. Minerva didnt send the letter after all. I'm glad she disobeyed him atleast once.
1/19 c6 Ferm
Very sneaky, lily! I'm assuming gran knew due to some family tree magic. I love the references to the plan!
1/19 c5 Ferm
I know this fic is unlikely to ever be completed, but what is there is so... Awesome. I loved the grandfather and his very one sided talk, and Sev's foray into muggle jobs. And Tobias! Lily was spectacular. Albus really ought to have his priorities in order. Letting her be harmed is the one thing he should not have allowed. It brought down a dark lord in another world, it'll being him down in this one! Haha
1/18 c4 Ferm
I really loved the different aspects of lily's personality. How gryffindor lily is the one trying to understand sev and death eaters while he slyth lily wants him to serve her, hahahah
11/2/2020 c10 12excessivelyperky
So long, Albus! Maybe you'll get lucky and be killed by a junior DE trying to make his bones...
9/21/2020 c3 raymond21
Wow,the Dumbledore is very favoring marauders i see. Depict them as poster boy,to encouraged them as symbol for fight against knowing that it only make them prime target for death eater
9/21/2020 c2 raymond21
Hmm,albus in this fic you showed him that he is ruthless to archieve his end. And the reason you make for him to dismiss the prank is make sense too. He can't afford his golden boy Will gonna expelled and not join. His group,which he need man power. I don't know why order is not very effective in first wizarding war. Maybe because it's not actively recruit a student from other house like hufflepuff and slytherin.
Hmm,sev not afraid of Dumbledore. I always show my like toward the bravest man in the entire series
And Lily is sending sev home. Waiting in slytherin coomon room. Slytherin show Lily that they are not evil and let them enter their common room. That's why i liked in your fic. The slytherin is not evil,just have a big pride and have ambitious goal
9/21/2020 c1 raymond21
Wow,so it's mean severus is not coward,but he just pretend to be so his goal can be archieved. Interesting idea,you know. For the slytherin who is cunning and resourcefull. He know that he cant win against marauders as long as he is in school and dumbledore Saw them as his golden boy. Hmm,i want to know what kind of revenge is severus gonna do. After all,don't dare to make snake anggry,for she Will give hard battle as hard as she can
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