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12/23/2012 c12 Fairytale17
Qod: the worst movie i have ever seen...well i don't think it's the worst movie but i didn't really care for it and that is Alice in Wonder Land the Tim Burton version, which kinda sucks cause i like Jonny Depp but the movie...no.
12/22/2012 c12 Guest
I’m just gonna say this… YOU ARE AN AMAZING WRITER! So I really need you to update soon… maybe today or tomorrow even? Please please PLEASE?
12/20/2012 c12 Fairytale17
Hey, another great chapter from SweetShireen. I liked how you had a little bit more Sabrina in this, but i also like how you're not overwhelming the whole puckabrina thing and their taking their sweet time, even though i do love them together. I do miss puck's monkey though, Sullivan that's his name i miss him he's a funny monkey.
12/17/2012 c12 6TheAfterShock
I am very sorry that you ever thought I abandoned your story. I'm sorry I never made you feel like I was disgusted. I'm not. Very opposite, I might add. I'm sorry I left the reviewing part of fanfiction for quite a while. I was extremely busy, and I only read on FF on my reading tablet- which makes it extremely hard to review. I can't stress how sorry I am. Because I truly am.
Now, I must say:
I'm so happy you are up and writing more often now. It makes me proud to call you a friend when I read your work. You're so talented. I will probably NEVER be upset or disgusted by your work. Unless of course you have some fantastical love triangle between Nottingham, Uncle Jake, and Heart. Which you won't. I hope. I will /not/ be reviewing for your last chapters. But I /will/ review for every one coming. I promise you this solemnly.

Anyway! On to other things!
Q: What's the worst movie you've every watched?
A: I would have to say the most utterly stupid and annoying movie that /I/ have ever watched would have to be Oliver and Otis. At least I think that's the name. I tried to erase it from my memory. From what I remember, this is what I think it was about:
A cat and two dogs go on an adventure.
Yup. They're live animals that do this movie and I find that absolutely stupid. If your going to have talking animals, make it animated.
Red
12/16/2012 c12 Krystynn nli
Puck and Sabrina cooking? Next chapter? Please? Hahahah XD
12/16/2012 c1 TAS nli
Uh, excuse me? I am any thing but girly and perfect. You did that to bother me, *narrows eyes* didn't you?
12/16/2012 c12 ShadowGAL
I can't believe I'm reading it this late! Usually I get to be first...

Back to your story... Yay! You brought back Sabrina! I was starting to miss her. The moments you make with her and Puck are always cute one way or another. So this Olivia... wonder what she gonna be in the story although she seems to be a lot like Sabrina here...
LOL when Daphne was like "Shes dead!" I was like NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! But when she explained it was about a book she was reading i just burst out laughing!
12/12/2012 c9 ANannyMouse
K the reason I'm doing this one tonight is cuz something in particular popped out at me.

When what'shisname's tire popped on the way home from the party, Daphne would've been thrown forward in her seat, not backward. (IM SORRY! I don't know what's wrong with me! Tiny, useless, unimportant things like that stick out at me when I'm reading!) I'd attempt to explain the science behind that, but I'm gonna just assume you got mixed up or something. Or it was a typo. Something. ;)

Ahahah, but how cliche. A frog. :D

Okay... Sooo... The whole "Avast!" thing made my day. :) hehehe

I liked this chapter... I like Adam, I think. He also sounds like he'd be really cute in real life, so that's a bonus. :D Yeah... Sorry... I have a thing for blue eyes.

WHICH REMINDS ME! This has absolutely nothing to do with this chapter, or even the story, but this year at camp I met a guy who was so much like Puck it's insane! Except he has blue eyes (Adam's blue eyes reminded me of him), not green. But ohmygosh, he had the personality of Puck like you wouldn't believe. He also made me realize that Puck would be a huge jerk in real life! Like, not just a pain, but an actual jerk. This may be common knowledge for everyone else, but I never actually thought it through I guess.

I'm sorry, I just wasted more space talking about something not related to your story. BACK ON TRACK!

K you have this thing with dashes... And I'm a horrible person to be saying anything about anyone else's uses of them cuz I can't get them right either, but they're a little hard to follow. I think there needs to be a space somewhere (whether it's in front of it or behind, idk) by it. Also, is it a hyphen or a dash? Holy Hannah I need to go to bed right now.

So! There you have it! Oh, but really quick, you're good at coming up with egotistical things for Puck to say that aren't the three same overused lines, ya know? yeah. Anywhoo. Nigel, Over and out!
12/12/2012 c12 ANannyMouse
...

Holy... Mother... Of.. Cheese...

CRAP JUST GOT REAL!

Um, yeah, so... I have no words. (Miracles do happen! Savor the moment.) This is epic. Like... Seriously, it could become a legit epicfic.

DUDE! Why are you freaking out?! If you're worried about how it used to be a collection of slightly connected oneshots, chillax. You could just make another story and move the first couple chapters into it or something. Or don't, actually. Just leave it how it is.

So what exactly were you upset about? How big the actual plot is or is going to get? Also, do you have this planned out, or are you flying by the skin of your teeth, as my mother would say? (Give her a break, she's Russian).

K now a couple random things that I have to say about this marvelous story as a whole...

Be careful with dear Pucky-Poo. It sometimes seems like you're making him too... I dunno... Mature? Philosophical? Maybe it's just 'cause he IS older and has obviously started changing a wee bit (the whole point of this story), but either way... Don't make him TOO thoughtful. It's a fine line between a new side of a character, and OOC. But I do like how you made him not know what a pyromaniac was. :D

Aisha creeeeeps me out at the moment. People who threaten other people with knives tend to scare me a wee bit.

I like how you're using a lot of Arabic sounding names and words and stuff (since you obviously know butt loads of stuff on the topic), and I know other authors offer no cultural diversity whatsoever in their writing, but it IS New York City after all. You should stick a Russian chick or something in there somewhere... *wink wink, nudge nudge* Hehe;)

Just kidding. I forgot about... Blue Eyed Boy. I can't remember if he's Andy or Adam. Adam I think... I'm assuming he's not... Middle Eastern? Or Arabic? (what should I refer to that whole group of peoples as?) Ugh and the last thing I wanna sound like is rude or disrespectful or racist or ANYTHING, so just tell me what I should say.

Do you have a beta? I hear they're wonderful things. If you don't, you should get one to catch all those random little grammar things, ya know? Besides, they're usually experienced authors, so if you're having plot issues they might be able to help!

Also, I don't want to come across as a little twat who thinks they know everything about everything. I'm just typing what pops into mah teeny leetle brain. ;)

DO AS YOU'RE DOING, AND DON'T RUSH THE PUCKABRINA! Good lord, that's what ruins a lot of good stories. 'Cause I mean really... Once the main characters are together... What's there to look forward to? Hahaha jk. Kinda. Kinda serious though. And yeah, I know you just said that in one of your ANs, but I'm just letting you know that I'm on your side! :D

Aaand... Yeah. I don't know if I've actually said this, but I love the addition of plot and the whole plot in general. It's really, really, really nice and refreshing and just wonderful to have a story like this come from Puck's POV. And you just seem to put a really... fresh spin on things. Or something. I don't really know for sure what it is.

Haha I'm rambling, and none of this is constructive, so I'm gonna go drink more coke, do another set of history questions, and come back a review my chubby little heart out (as my father would say). ;D As long as I dont fall asleep, that is...

Haha, congrats on such an awesome story, chica. You done good. :)
12/11/2012 c1 Leslie Ann K
Alright, so I assume you want critism:
Now, while as a whole, I think your writing is extremely good, I have a couple of things I need to mention. For one, Puck is almost sixteen, but his thoughts still sound like he's twelve. It's just that you would assume that Puck would kind of...grow, you know? He has a lot of profound moments from the sixth book on, and he's only twelve then. You see where I'm coming from?
The dialogue also seems slightly unrealistic. Again, just the fact that they're supposed to act older, and it doesn't really show in thier actions, you know? Dialogue is in a story to move the plot forward. That's what I tell a lot of people, most of all myself, because when you think about it, everything in a story is about the plot. There ARE no needless scenes. If your character is not doing anything to forward his relationship with other characters or getting closer to his ultimate goal, it doesn't need to be there. Now you never have this in your story, I'm just saying for future referance.
I like Sullivan a lot :D
What I'm trying to say, is that my main problem with this is the age of all the characters. Because if you're starting with them older, they need to act it, and right now, Daphne would be twelve. She still acts eight, and even then, a little immature for it.
But the text message thing was very well-done, and honestly, if he was still thirteen, it would have been perfect. It's nicely paced, not too fast.
Props to you for writing from Puck's POV!
I hope I haven't been too terrible in this! It's just that I sort of think that people KNOW what they do well, right?
But keep writing! :D You're doing really well with it!
12/7/2012 c12 5Alapest
Ugh! I watched a Bollywood movie (with English subtitles) once. I HATED IT!

This chapter was awesome!

QOD: Because I love Avatar The Last Airbender I think that the worth movie I've watched was "The Last Airbender" by M Night Shalamawhatshisface
12/2/2012 c12 AliceGrim76
As usual GREAT CHAPTER!
Haha. Can't wait to see what Puck cooks for dinner. :D

OMG! I know I seriously can't wait till those movies come out. Yeah I don't know why Annabeth had brown hair in the movie? There was nothing about her that was Annabeth!
12/2/2012 c12 20WireWriter
Again, just pure awesomeness flows out of your fingers. I'm sure. Okay, so, I'm still not wrapped around the Sabrina/Aisha thing but I relate to the line where Sabrina says/thinks that when she's helping others, her own problems go away. Also, the car flashback scene gave me some insight, so I think I'm closer to understanding.

Sabrina is a genius. Not with her feelings, because she needs help with those, but she's quick on her feet. And Daphne's reaction to Wuthering Heights is basically me to...everything I fangirl over. Huzzah! Amazing job!

Worst movie: Marmaduke. It was so bad, I don't remember anything except the dog. Two hours of a dog. In a theater. Where I couldn't escape because I wasn't going to leave my $7.50 there.

WireWriter
12/1/2012 c12 Hang.on.Line
Great chapter! I really like Olivia she seems a lot like Sabrina to me.
OK now I'm just getting anxious to know what happened that night in the rain! When am I going to find out?!
Ha! I just love Daphne shes so dramatic.

Qod: I hate what they did to Percy Jackson and the Lighting Thief! Really I don't know what the producers were thinking when they were making it. It. Sucked. the books were awesome though. I really hope they don't fail on The Sea of Monsters.
12/1/2012 c12 AwesomenessInaCan
Hahaha, my father LOVES Bollywood movies. I watched an extremely sad one a few years ago and turned it off mid-scene because I couldn't take any more sadness. D: But my dad (since he's an artist) loves the dancing and clothing and likes to draw Bollywood dancers and such. The worst movie I've ever watched has to be the Fred movies. Or maybe The Others. I'm such a wuss.

Anyways! The chapter? Magnifique! I love it! I love Puck caring about Granny Relda and I love all the suspense emanating from Aisha's disappearance. I even love Olivia and want to see her a bit more. Will Sabrina be like her mentor? A self defense instructor is the best mentor that I could think of. Except for maybe the all-knowing Puck. ;D
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