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for An Eye for an Eye

3/25/2012 c1 2Jordan J. Corona
I have to say the prologue is interesting and drew me in. A Nice start. The title is also an eye grabber in my opinion. There's not much I can say about this story because not much has happened yet. The sentences run a bit long and could use some grammar modifications to put some needed pauses. You go into deep detail which is good, but you don't want to put too much detail in one sentence. That's why some of the sentences seem to run quite long. Break them up a bit. You can leave some details out as well. All in all I really like the prologue and if this story were to continue it could be very interesting.
3/20/2012 c1 xXraiden17Xx
is this story made by yourself?

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