Just In
for SOLD

4/1/2012 c11 8Toons Girl
Looking over your ideas, I like only like the first four ideas.

No, don't have Maria tell Liesl about the deal, that would scare her. It would be more in character and more in tone with the film, if Liesl (and maybe Frederich and Louisa) find out about the truth when they heard the grandparents talking about it.

No, don't have them take on them, that would show disrespect. In the 1930s, children were greatly respectful toward their grandparents. It's not like today, where NOBODY had respect for their elders.

After hearing about the truth, I only imagine Liesl, Frederich, and Louisa confronting the grandparents about their secret. The grandparents (the grandmother) tell them that it was for their own good; they needed a mother. The children say yes but not this way. The grandmother angirly tells them there is nothing they can do. She and her husband did this to help Maria's uncle's financial troubles. She also concludes to the childen that they are getting a new mother whether they like it or not.

The children become torn about this situation. They have grown to love Maria and want her to stay but not this way. They are angry for what their grandparents have done.
3/30/2012 c11 3mquest
These chapters are quite good. I was wondering how you were going to bring Elsa into the picture. Good job.
3/30/2012 c10 107Bellarsam Chrisjulittle
Mmm...you have good moments in this story, but I find the way you stick to the movie dialogue, especially in the last chapter, is a problem. Maria's situation is entirely different: she's been bought and sold like a slave by her only family. And I don't like Georg bringing Elsa and Max to "watch the fun" - I don't see anything funny about the situation. George's apology needed to go way beyond movie dialogue. And he needs to apologize for more than just their fight - also the way he's treated her from the beginning. I know he's as stuck in the situation as her but it was his irresponsible actions that brought it about.
3/28/2012 c10 8Toons Girl
Max and Elsa make their appearance. It's kinda funny that they and Georg are planning some kind of trick on Georg's parents. XD

Yes, finally! The captain came to his senses by realizing he has to always be there for the children instead of ignoring them all the time! ^^

Your spelling has improved a bit.

There were some sentences that I thought were too long and or need prepositions (ex: it, is, was, etc.) But overall, it is going well.

I can't wait to see what happens next!
3/28/2012 c10 2HiGhLaNd8
Love the story so far! I think you should have Maria and the Captain like get to know each other better and not like the movie plot.
3/28/2012 c9 8Toons Girl
Chapter 9 was wonderful! I like how you showed Maria getting to know the children; even Louisa and Frederich. I imagine them having the worst since they were closer to thier birth mother than the younger ones. Liesl was feeling the same way too but decided to take the mature way by getting to know Maria.

Hopefully Georg will come to his senses and treat his children kindly.

I can't wait for the next chapter! ^^
3/28/2012 c8 3mquest
This chapter to was really good. The story is starting to take a wonderful shape and you are developing the relationship between Maria and the children wonderfully.
3/28/2012 c7 mquest
I loved the conversation between the children. Your grammar in this chapter is greatly improved!

I like how you are building the story and how you used the conversation to show the persanalities how each child.
3/27/2012 c8 8Toons Girl
It's going great! Man, the children are really sadistic! XD

I wonder what Georg is going to Vienna for?

Maria was smart not to squeal on the kids; I don't think I would have the guts.

Since Liesl and Maria are going to have a small girl talk, I wonder what would they talk about? I would imagine that Maria try to keep the 'arranged marriage' a secret between her and Georg and the parents because she didn't want to scare the children away from her.

Glad that Gretl, Marta, and Liesl are warming up toward Maria. Let's hope the other children do.
3/26/2012 c7 Toons Girl
It's going well. Seems like the children see Maria as a threat; they don't want her to take their deceased mother's place.

Man, Maria is definitely going to have a tough time at the Villa unless, she thinks of something!

For ideas in the next chapters, maybe you can have the children do a prank on Maria which worked but she doesn't tell on them.

Another idea is seeing more of Maria's inner conflict. I would imagine Maria still feeling upset about the situation her uncle and Georg's parents put her in, even if she knows it meant saving their reputation and her uncle's financial problems. She just can't believe that she went from one bad place to another! She starts to miss her parents because they were the only people who truly loved her. Nobody else; not ever her aunt. Maria yearns for a home where she could truly belong at. How can she be happy when she is being married to someone against her will?
3/25/2012 c6 30pussycatwithattitude
All of these chapters were good, and I'm eager to see where you will take the Georg and Maria situation. I like how you're incorporating certain scenes from the film but altering them to fit your storyline.
3/25/2012 c6 3mquest
The story is shaping up quite nicely. Keep up the good work!
3/24/2012 c6 8Toons Girl
You are doing good, keep up the good work! I really like the content in this story and how paced it is.

Spelling is something most people struggle with. Using the spell checker on Microsoft Word is useful. If your Microsoft Word doesn't have a spell checker then I suggest to use the dictionary for spell checking. The thesaurus is also a good book to use for spelling and to look for synonyms and antonyms.

There is also dictionary online websites such as thefreedictionary.net or webster's online.

Seems like Maria's meeting with the children went slightly well than it id in the film. I thought it was cute that Marta and Gretl seemed to like her a bit. ^^ Seems like Maria is getting along a bit with her soon-to-be father-in-law. :)

Poor Maria, having to wear Georg's mother's hideous dress! XD

Since we saw Maria's list about Georg, let's see Georg's list about Maria!
3/23/2012 c2 3mquest
Very unique story line, I like how you are using Georg's parents in this.
3/22/2012 c2 8Toons Girl
It's getting really good! The content is great. There some run-on sentences that could have been broken down into two or three sentences. But overall, the story is going well!

Looks like we find the answer why Maria was bought!

Georg's parents are just as mean and nasty as Maria's uncle! I'd be furious like Georg or Maria if my family did something like that!

Uncle Max: Poor Maria!

Georg: Hey! what about me?

Uncle Max: Weellllll...,your romantic affairs DID ruin your parents' reputation. So, I can't blame them.

Georg: Et tu, Max? -_-;

I can't wait to see Maria and Georg meet each other! :)

Will the children make an appearance in the next chapter?
52 « Prev Page 1 .. 2 3 4 Next »

Twitter . Help . Sign Up . Cookies . Privacy . Terms of Service