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6/30/2012 c1 Guest
Keep god of jesus tap-dancing christ keep writing I wanna read more. Might I suggest the girl is around the age of 14?I read info on Daniel and found out in the game storyline it says that he has Nyctophobia, or fear of the darkness. It wasn't because he was afraid of the monsters but he simply thought that if he was in darkness for to long he would become trapped and never able to get out. Don't get me wrong i'm literally obsessed with Daniel of Mayfair,but i'd like to see Beatrix hate him and not trust so much that this inturn causes a fight between the two to break out. They go their desired paths until after going through the gruesome place alone ,realize they need one another for comfort,survival,and the beginning of the ending events, make the girl decide on what'll be done with Daniel once they kill the old wrinkly pedo we all know as Alexander and escape the hellish castle of is my suggestion but if you disagree I will not be upset after all it's your story and your hands are the ones typing it.
6/1/2012 c1 LongKissGoodbye
The BEST Amnesia story i have read so far! I cant wait for the next chapter!
3/29/2012 c1 Galvenais
Very, very nice. A remarkable story, well written with accurate vocabulary.

This, in my opinion, is a star. I came across some spelling errors but I forgot to note them. Your writing provided the basic need of the dark atmosphere of Amnesia. The story lacked action, I guess you intended for that, but nonetheless I feel that it created a more important onlook to the story itself rather than distracted by other attention.

Furthermore, into atmospheric means, the words simulated a true image in my mind of the depths of Amnesia, walls bristled with darkness and the apparent dripping of liquid was a fantastic element.

I would like to hear from you, I want to know what means inspired you to create this piece, it was brilliant, after all!


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