for Lucent1/12/2020 c1 derektomlinson
lol a very happy marie hissing smirking at nazz and sarah that's right the slut and jailbait of peachcreek edd is mine i am his wife
lol a very happy marie hissing smirking at nazz and sarah that's right the slut and jailbait of peachcreek edd is mine i am his wife
5/23/2019 c1 Derek
marie saying to edd I love you sonmuch
marie saying to edd I love you sonmuch
9/14/2014 c1 JoaFre
A very sweet story, a bit short but still very sweet :)
Keep up the good work! :D
A very sweet story, a bit short but still very sweet :)
Keep up the good work! :D
1/20/2014 c1 
31lolzwaitwhat
Even Sheldon cooper would ba able to identify the shock on her face, that's a fucking brilliant line!
31lolzwaitwhatEven Sheldon cooper would ba able to identify the shock on her face, that's a fucking brilliant line!
7/18/2012 c1 Trenton
:) That's all I've got. :)
:) That's all I've got. :)
3/28/2012 c1 2Thermal Man
This is okay. Not great, but not terrible. Your writing's good, if a bit rough. Some sentences are phrased weirdly and scenes feel disjointed and don't flow well. Also, there are parts that aren't spelt correctly. Try to proofread you stories before submitting them or try getting a beta reader to read an early version of your story. The worst mistake you made was adding author's notes in the middle of your story. DO NOT EVER DO THIS AGAIN. I cannot overstate this, adding author's notes in the middle of your story reminds the the reader that they're doing just that- reading. Instead, keep your author's notes in the beginning or end of each chapter. This way you get what you want to say out of the way at the beginning or end and leave the reader a pure uninterrupted block of story.
A few other random odds and ends.
I feel as if Marie was slightly out of character, as was Edd. You might want to work on your characterization a bit.
The final 'At their wedding' line feels unneeded. But that could be because I have a soft spot for fluff and always assume the best happens in love stories.
I wouldn't suggest adding in pop culture or real world references. This is a more personal suggestion, as I've always felt that the Ed, Edd 'N Eddy world is self contained and shouldn't have specific references to any time period.
I know I've thrown a whole lot of negativity at you and only focused on your weaknesses. That's how I review. I didn't hate this story, I just thought it could have been better.
2Thermal ManThis is okay. Not great, but not terrible. Your writing's good, if a bit rough. Some sentences are phrased weirdly and scenes feel disjointed and don't flow well. Also, there are parts that aren't spelt correctly. Try to proofread you stories before submitting them or try getting a beta reader to read an early version of your story. The worst mistake you made was adding author's notes in the middle of your story. DO NOT EVER DO THIS AGAIN. I cannot overstate this, adding author's notes in the middle of your story reminds the the reader that they're doing just that- reading. Instead, keep your author's notes in the beginning or end of each chapter. This way you get what you want to say out of the way at the beginning or end and leave the reader a pure uninterrupted block of story.
A few other random odds and ends.
I feel as if Marie was slightly out of character, as was Edd. You might want to work on your characterization a bit.
The final 'At their wedding' line feels unneeded. But that could be because I have a soft spot for fluff and always assume the best happens in love stories.
I wouldn't suggest adding in pop culture or real world references. This is a more personal suggestion, as I've always felt that the Ed, Edd 'N Eddy world is self contained and shouldn't have specific references to any time period.
I know I've thrown a whole lot of negativity at you and only focused on your weaknesses. That's how I review. I didn't hate this story, I just thought it could have been better.