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for A Life Changing Moment

12/15/2020 c32 Zile0
Thank you for sharing your work. While I’ve read other fan fictions with soul mates, your use of them is very different. Keep those stories coming.
9/17/2020 c12 Ytocamden
I love this story
7/30/2020 c2 Paris Evens
reggie UWU
6/17/2020 c7 6P-Webes
Hey great story and I would really wish to read more but I just can’t get past the grammar. Some sentence seem to be missing words and others repeat words not needed and then words are in the wrong tense and it just makes me pause and trying to figure out what you meant that it’s not really entertain to read anymore. Maybe your grammar gets better later on but that’s 32 chapters to get through to find out. However, I have enjoyed the concept and idea of the story you wrote!
5/7/2019 c5 15warchiefzeke05
This is amazing.
10/18/2018 c5 Disturbedhrt
Great story a truely different spin on the tri wizzard tournament but the grammar makes it very hard to read maybe a beta could help fix the issues
2/28/2018 c9 SiriuslyPink
Could you at least try to put some effort in getting the past tense verb endings correct? They're not that hard in English. Just add 'ed' to the end. How hard is that?
2/12/2018 c25 Nevara5
I really loved the ideas you have for your story, the idea of Harry being adopted by Lilly and James and a redeemed Batty Crouch Jr are not topics I've come across before. However, due to the poor grammar and misuse of present tense and various errors I could not continue reading. I hope you will never give up on writing, because you have great ideas, but perhaps enlist a beta to help with how you tell your great story. Also,. I'm curious about soulmates in your story. Does everyone have a soulmate? Shouldn't everyone in the wizarding world take the heritage test then? Without it they risk losing the simplest, foolprloof way of knowing who they are meant to be with. If you are interested still in constructive criticism, allow your characters to tell the story - show don't tell - is sound advice. This reads almost like series of narrative summaries rather than a story. Please keep writing, and thank you for sharing this with us. If English is not your native language, than I congratulate you on your hard work to know how to speak, read and write more than one tongue - not an easy feat, and English grammar is particularly difficult- don't be afraid to ask for help!
1/5/2018 c16 AprilMeropeRiddlePendragon
I'm done.
1/5/2018 c11 AprilMeropeRiddlePendragon
I am not trying to be mean, but the way this story is written is mind numbing to me. The words seem to be a bit humbled up, and everything is told to the reader in an awkward way. It is sort of like everything has been written in a hurry, by someone who is not use to writing in first-person. Although, my fault in this story could be caused by my unfamiliarity with first-person fanfictions. Despite the awkwardness of the flow, the concept of the story is good. I just hope I can get past the prose long enough to finish it.
12/6/2017 c32 Disturbedhrt
This last chapter feels like I'm over writing this story so here is a summary of what I might of written. It ruined a very good story
11/29/2017 c1 KristieRoxie
WWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWW. Seems like a good plot but the grammar throws me off. Plus, why would Harry have Dumblesnore read a personal letter from his “parents” in front of literal strangers? I tried and got to the 5th chapter but it literally makes no sense. Sorry
11/17/2017 c32 gginsc
A better life for Harry and many others! Nice story.
11/17/2017 c16 gginsc
Stupid move.
11/17/2017 c1 gginsc
Why would someone have personal letters from their dead parents read aloud by someone other than themselves and in public at that?
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