for The Call4/8/2023 c1 Note
Too short. Looks like a draft, not the story.
Too short. Looks like a draft, not the story.
7/30/2012 c1 
2Eleyn
Such an interesting concept! I have some questions, though.
How old is Sarah? Is she old, young, middle aged? I don't think it would matter to Jareth how old she is.
Why did she never make friends aboveground?
Aren't Toby's parents also her parents (or at least they have the same father)?
How long has Jareth been visiting Sarah? Do they see each other often, or only when she needs him for something?
Why did she decide she wanted to live in the underground?
Some of the questions are implied, I guess. I'm wondering if your story could be filled out more!
2EleynSuch an interesting concept! I have some questions, though.
How old is Sarah? Is she old, young, middle aged? I don't think it would matter to Jareth how old she is.
Why did she never make friends aboveground?
Aren't Toby's parents also her parents (or at least they have the same father)?
How long has Jareth been visiting Sarah? Do they see each other often, or only when she needs him for something?
Why did she decide she wanted to live in the underground?
Some of the questions are implied, I guess. I'm wondering if your story could be filled out more!
4/5/2012 c1 nupreacher
Just so you know, the word is except, not accept. You said accept in the underground.
Just so you know, the word is except, not accept. You said accept in the underground.