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for You Think I Don't Know My Own Boyfriend?

4/17/2016 c1 5faintblue
I definitely love the twins. The plotline is actually quite mind-blowing, but I think you could've made it better by making it harder for Sarah to realize who it was. Very nice, though, don't misunderstand
1/24/2013 c1 42Queen Nightingale
this is so cute! i feel that as you write more and more, your dialogue will flow even better. right now it seems a little bit 'sharp', for lack of a better word - but i really enjoyed the character sarah. you have really intriguing development of people, and i enjoy that as a reader. i liked the idea of neon flowers - how fred asked her out!

also this line: "And when a smiling, redheaded, sexy 21-year-old greeting her with a "Hey love," showed up, Sarah was relieved. Kind of." was so fantastically fresh.

keep it up! great work.

xoxox
q.n.
4/6/2012 c1 NERDYNATALIE
Hey! This was really cute! Normally I cringe at OC stories and their Mary Sue-ness but this one was great! However, because we are best friends I promise to give you my unbiased constructive criticism. Don't worry, there's not a lot! I noticed in some parts like, "However, she met Fred, when her best friend, Verity, got a job at Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes. " it had a bunch of commas that weren't really needed! I do the exact same thing so don't feel bad! Just maybe ask a bunch of people to look over it like, ahem, ME. I apologize for my grammar craziness. Also, you know how it says that Sarah was a year younger than the twins? Later you write that her and Ginny were in the same year. That isn't really possible because Ginny is, correct me if I'm wrong, 3 years younger than the twins. (Harry was 2 years younger than them, and Ginny is one year younger than Harry) Honestly, that's it! It was very cute and I really liked it! IF ONLY FRED LIVED... KJDhfskdjhfakjdhfwtgw. CURSE YOU JJJJJKAYYYYYYY. I can totally imagine them doing this. (What happened to Angelina? Is she just non-existent?) I LOVE YOU AND THIS STORY AND THE TWINS AND HARRY POTTER AND JK ROWLING AND NUTELLA.

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