for Terrified2/9/2013 c1 
2Caroline Lily-ann Youla
Oh poor Lavinia :( it's so sad what happened. I like the ending best
2Caroline Lily-ann YoulaOh poor Lavinia :( it's so sad what happened. I like the ending best
12/3/2012 c1 nathalie.byl13
This is really good and is touching to people who have lost loved ones and would descibe somebody's feeling during a hard time
This is really good and is touching to people who have lost loved ones and would descibe somebody's feeling during a hard time
8/13/2012 c1 12jakey121
I read your advertisment thing and thought I would start off with this oneshot.
It was great, I love your portrayal of Lavinia and her brother. You really captured the frantic emotions she was feeling as they ran, and then the heartbreak she felt when her brother was killed. It was great, it was brutal and gory, sad and quite frightening. It flowed well and didn't seem too rushed for a oneshot which is good but it kept up with the pace of them running, it didn't have any unnecessary pauses.
Yeah great writing :D
12jakey121I read your advertisment thing and thought I would start off with this oneshot.
It was great, I love your portrayal of Lavinia and her brother. You really captured the frantic emotions she was feeling as they ran, and then the heartbreak she felt when her brother was killed. It was great, it was brutal and gory, sad and quite frightening. It flowed well and didn't seem too rushed for a oneshot which is good but it kept up with the pace of them running, it didn't have any unnecessary pauses.
Yeah great writing :D
8/8/2012 c1 13bluespades
It would be better if you added paragraphing, it would make it easier to read. Also missing a couple of full stops here and there, but otherwise it's really good, you wrote their emotions well.
Didn't the boy die by a spear shot into him?
13bluespadesIt would be better if you added paragraphing, it would make it easier to read. Also missing a couple of full stops here and there, but otherwise it's really good, you wrote their emotions well.
Didn't the boy die by a spear shot into him?