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for Every Rose has a Thorn so why is she so lonely?

5/28/2013 c1 14RisikaKiisu
First: There's no Class 7 mutants. Only up to class 5. Anything above that is considered to be an "Omega Level" mutant, like Prof. Xavier and Jean Grey.
Secondly: I found many grammer mistakes, but I only picked those out because I'm a nit-picky bitch. Sorry...

Now, I don't point these things out to make you feel bad, but to help you. I know how it is to write a story and have no one appreciate it...
Use commas, but not all the time. It's difficult to know when to use a comma [,] or a semicolon [;], dash or parenthesis. However, this looks to be an interesting story.

The only other problem I have with this particular chapter is how you described your OC. She's more like a Mary Sue than a believable character.
"I had blood red hair, forest green eyes, and raven black tips in my hair. I had cream silk skin that I didn't have to use make-up to make myself look beautiful."
In reality, no one would have blood red hair. It would be a...brown red, or strawberry blonde, or bronze/copper color. Unless she dyed her hair, which I have no reason to believe she would do something like that. The raven black tips, she probably dyed, since no one would naturally have raven black tips, but it is a cute fashion style. (My own OC has black hair tips, but that's due to her mutation...)
The way you describe her skin is the epitone of "Perfectness". No one has 'cream silk skin' without a lot of care. And no one HAS to use make-up to make themselves look beautiful; they just feel they do. (Personally, I hate make-up and only wear it to dances or special occasions.)

However, the story has a lot of potential. I hope you don't think I'm flaming you; I'm pointing these things out to help you improve. I'm gonna go on to the next chapter before I think of something else to say...
2/27/2013 c5 wolf2012
please make a sequel.
2/2/2013 c1 EMROSE101
hey loved this story it is one of my fav story's ever :D please do a sequel. keep up the good work
5/6/2012 c4 5LadyOfSlytherin101
more please

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